Roses are red
Violets are blue
Virginia is for lovers
and a boatload of progressive legislation, too!
… yeah yeah, I know, I’m not quitting my day job.
Love is sort of in the air in legislatures across the country. But also some hate, too.
Let’s start with the good stuff.
Gett Off: As a Virginian, I’m pleased to report that the commonwealth is on its way towards really being for lovers.
… haha whoops
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- But a bill correcting this is on its way towards approval in the Virginia General Assembly.
- The state Supreme Court actually ruled the anti-fornication statute unconstitutional back in 2005, but previous attempts to repeal the law went nowhere in the GOP-controlled legislature.
- And the law has actually been used since then as a pile-on charge for people accused of sex crimes and as something for the accused to plea their charges down to.
- Virginia’s somehow not alone in having this absurd statute on the books in the year 2020.
Push It: Now that crossover (noun: the date during a legislative session after which only legislation from the other chamber [House/Assembly vs. Senate] may be considered) is behind us, this is a great time to look at the various pieces of legislation in Virginia that are either likely on their way to passage or have already cleared the full legislature.
… because WOW what a difference a Democratic majority makes.
- Separate House and Senate bills making undocumented immigrants eligible for in-state college tuition have passed their respective originating chambers.
- Bills adding sexual orientation and gender identity to the state’s hate crime law have also each passed their originating chambers, as has a bill repealing Virginia’s (unconstitutionally defunct) ban on same-sex marriage.
- A statewide five-cent tax on plastic shopping bags has passed the state House, while the Senate has passed a bill that imposes the tax on Northern Virginia but allows localities across the state to opt in via ordinance.
- Bills establishing universal background checks on all firearm purchases, restricting handgun purchases to one per month, and allowing localities to enact gun safety ordinances passed both chambers.
- An assault weapons ban passed the House.
- The House passed a bill allowing public sector workers to collectively bargain.
- The Senate passed a version that gives localities the option of collective bargaining.
- Both chambers passed bills raising the state’s minimum wage, but in different amounts and in different ways.
- Both chambers have passed legislation decriminalizing marijuana possession.
- Both chambers passed bills giving localities the power to remove Confederate monuments.
- Both chambers passed bills eliminating the GOP-imposed requirement that women get medically unnecessary ultrasounds and wait 24 hours before obtaining an abortion.
- Both chambers establishing no-excuse absentee voting and repealing the state’s photo ID requirement.
- Each chamber passed different versions of legislation designed to make pursuing frivolous defamation lawsuits more difficult, also known as anti-SLAPP (Strategic Lawsuits Against Public Participation) measures.
I’m Two Sexy: Lawmakers in Utah are moving legislation that would mostly decriminalize polygamy.
- Currently, consenting adults engaged in polygamy are guilty of a felony.
- The proposed bill would reduce the violation to an “infraction,” on par with, say, a traffic ticket.
- It would also increase penalties for those who engage in polygamy in concert with other crimes, including domestic abuse, fraud, and child marriage.
- The bill sailed out of committee, and supporters say this will bring those involved in plural marriages “out of the shadows” and allow them to report abuses instead of forcing the entire subculture underground.
- But a number of folks, including several former plural wives, say that this bill will only further empower men engaged in multiple marriages to perpetrate abuses.
- The measure is currently being considered by the full Senate.
Red Light Special: In news that will surprise absolutely no one, the GOP-controlled Tennessee legislature continues to suck.
- Although ten states have eliminated the sales tax on tampons and other menstrual products altogether, Democratic Sen. Sara Kyle didn’t even push the male-dominated chamber to make that leap.
- But even a temporary “Tampon tax” holiday apparently was too much for the GOP to deal with.
- As Republicans prepared to kill the bill in committee this week, Republican Sen. Joey Hensley argued against it, claiming that eliminating the tax on menstrual products, even temporarily, would lead women to buy, like, too many.
- “There’s really no limit on the number of items anybody can purchase … I don’t know how you would limit the number of items someone could purchase,” Hensley argued, apparently unable to bring himself to say the words “Tampon” or “menstrual” or “feminine hygiene.”
- Sen. Kyle managed to temporarily stave off her bill’s demise by buying more time to address funding questions, but the outlook for the legislation is not, shall we say, rosy.
… sorry
Relax: Tennessee Republicans are just so angsty these days.
- When they’re not fretting that the ladies will buy, like, all the Tampons, they’re wasting valuable time and taxpayer resources on condemning the Washington Post and CNN as “fake news.”
- But epithets like “fake news” and “media wing of the Democrats” are so, like, last month.
Obviously this is a waaaaaay better use of lawmakers’ time than, say, addressing Tennessee’s abysmal 43rd-place national ranking in terms of the state’s healthcare.
… or finally removing the bust of Confederate general and first Klu Klux Klan grand wizard Nathan Bedford Forrest from the state capitol. (More to come on this.)
Closer: It’s no secret that the Pennsylvania House is a top target for Democrats this fall.
- The Senate looks juicy, too, but the House is the smarter play unless, say, Bloomberg decides to stop wasting his fortune on his presidency lark and instead invest it in something, like, worthwhile.
ALL THE MONEY would go a long way
- Possibly frustrated by the limitations Democratic Gov. Tom Wolf has imposed on their right-wing agenda, Republican lawmakers are resigning from the legislature at a rapid clip ahead of next week’s filing deadline.
With this week’s retirement of Senate President Pro Tempore Joe Scarnati, the total number of GOP quitters rose to lucky 13—more than double the number of Democratic retirements in the legislature.
Fun fact! Democrats need to flip nine seats to win a House majority in November.
- This isn’t as much of a moonshot as it sounds.
Funner fact! Democrats can reduce that number to eight if they win a special election in House District 18 on March 17.
- Democrats aren’t the the only ones with their eyes on the Pennsylvania legislature.
Welp, that’s a wrap for this week. But don’t expect me to encourage you to knock off early for Valentine’s Day. It’s a garbage holiday, and because it falls on a Friday this year, it’ll be impossible to enjoy a normal dinner out without paying for some lame prix fixe menu that has, like, three items on it. (But definitely go shopping for candy and flowers for yourself or someone you tolerate on Saturday. They’re super cheap and just as tasty/pretty.) So print this out and show it to your boss, but just so she appreciates that, like her, you’re totally hip to the V-day scam and are SO NOT here for it.