The NNNE Institute™ in conjunction with the Coalition Regularly Exposing Evil People™ was able to obtain an advance copy of tomorrow’s republican talking points. We believe this is Jared’s copy because of the attached note.
Republican Party Headquarters, Kremlin, Moscow, Russia
For eyes only distribution to all heads of branches of the republican party, a wholly owned subsidiary of Russia’s American Takeover.
Remember the first rule of republican talking points is no one talks about republican talking points. Once you have transcribed this onto your individual letterheads, destroy this document. Any deviation from this order will be dealt with very harshly.
Vladimir Putin, CEO, Republican Party
Talking Points, April 20th, 2020
- 40,000 is small number. Count one, two, three, forty thousand. See, almost three. No big deal.
- Donald tRump is very smart. Also, godlike and very manly hands.
- Famous Russian sick people doctor, Turnyer Hedankov, has found cure for virus. Made from vodka, beet juice, concentrated hooker sweat and secret ingredient, cure is now ready. Buy through, tRump family, Paula White Ministries, Koch Industries, NRA and MyPillow guy. Cost only $2,000/dose.
- Auditions for Melania’s replacement will be held in Lincoln Bedroom. Hotties only.
- Media bad.
- Democrats bad.
- Governors bad.
- Obama bad.
- Biden sleepy.
- But her emails.
Wait, must remove shoes.
11. Russia is great partner.
12. Most people don’t know but twelve is also called dozen.
Kushnersky, make sure Donnie knows to push cure. Also, tell him stop talking about testing. Even blind pig know that lie. Show Donnie attached photo and smile.
Distribution List
- Fox News — Rupert Murdoch
- President’s Spiritual Council — Paula White
- NRA — Wayne LaPierre
- Koch Industries — Charles Koch
- US Chamber of Commerce — Thomas J Donohue
- US Senate — Addison McConnell
- US House — Kevin McCarthy
- Klu Klux Klan — David Duke
- Minister of Conspiracy Theories — Alex Jones
- Minister of Ongoing Financial Crimes — Wilbur Ross
- Minister of Collusion — Rudy Giuliani
- Minister of Official Graft and Corruption — Jared Kushner
- Minister of Protection — William Barr
- At large members — RIck Scott, Richard Mercer, Betsey DeVos
Sunday is 2thanks turn to lead the gnus to good news: Flipping, Spitting, Licking, Orbiting, Seeing, Voting, Winning. ☼ WhoWonTheWeek? ☼ Sunday Good News
Sundays are also the day when oldhippiedude brings us fun from the twitterverse: Tweets Of The Week April 12-18 2020