Do Only Girly Men Wear Face Masks?
President Trump and many manly menfolk have been resisting scientific medical advice concerning social distancing and the wearing of face masks in public for fear of being labeled as sissies.
However, there are novel advantages to following the fact based medical guidelines without running the risk of having one’s masculine manhood threatened.
For example, if you wear a face mask while in public, you don’t have to brush your teeth, which some radical dentists recommend a person do after every meal. So, to heck with that. In fact, you can skip the whole teeth cleaning regimen, and no one will be the wiser. Think of the money you can save not buying toothpaste and mouth wash or having your teeth professionally cleaned. The only person who will know you have bad breath is you.
And if you wear a mask, you can leave your dentures at home on the nightstand and nobody will ever notice.
Plus, you also won’t have to shave your beard or trim your nose hairs for months, or at least as long as the pandemic rages. Think of the time you will save. Not to mention that the heartache of acne out breaks and unsightly cold sores will be a nightmare no more for you when hidden behind a face mask.
But, now you ask the really important question, can a face mask be sexy?The answer is a resounding yes! What’s more sexy than an old west train or stage coach robber with a bandanna concealing everything but those dreamy yet dangerous eyes.
Just imagine when the bars and music venues finally reopen, what a sight you will be when you swagger in the door with your cowboy hat pulled low, bandanna knotted behind your neck, blue jeans and chaps held up with a giant belt buckle accentuating your taut waist, and cowboy boots polished to a mirror finish. The eyes of Texas will be on you.
And certainly the ladies will be more agreeable when they see a fine figure of a masked man who is thoughtfully wearing protection in public. They just might think that behind closed doors, you would wear another kind of protection in private. Though, they’d probably be wrong about that.
So, in conclusion, we see there are numerous personal benefits, including saving time and money, to wearing a face mask in public. And we’ve submitted correctly, I believe, that the fairer sex will respond positively to a sexy masked ‘hombre.’
Thus, if you wear a face mask in public, not only will you not be accused of girlishness or of being a sissified milksop, you can rest assured that all of you stud horses will never be mistaken for a brood mare.