Thoughts From the Late Nighters
"Protesters are taking a stand against the horrors of police brutality. And to show how not brutally violent they are, the police have responded with absolute brutal violence. It's horrifying that the authorities are beating, gassing, and running over peaceful protesters. They're so out of control, I'm surprised they didn't ticket the people they ran over for scuffing up the paint job.”
—Samantha Bee
“People all over the world took to the streets because they believed that black people deserve better treatment than we have been getting. I’m not like ‘everything’s over, everything’s fixed,' but I am shocked so many people showed up for black people. Don’t let people get away with racist crap. Not anymore. It’s a new day.”
—Amber Ruffin on Late Night
Continued...
"It's important to understand how deeply policing in this country is entangled with white supremacy. And I know you might be thinking, 'Join the club, policing. This is America. The only institution not deeply entangled with the history of white supremacy is Olive Garden, and that's only because it's always been a powerful symbol of white inferiority.’"
—John Oliver
“The disproportionate hurt and harm that has been done to Black folks, to Latinx communities was precise, it was targeted, it was legislated, it was codified. And so the path forward is to legislate healing and justice.”
—Rep. Ayanna Pressley on Full Frontal
“Trump is so desperate to defend the police that instead of admitting that maybe they used excessive force and that none of them helped [75-year-old protester Martin Gugino] who was bleeding out on the ground, he turns around and blames the old man from that video for being an Antifa provocateur who busted his head open on purpose? That is some batshit crazy theory. I feel like Trump is the kind of person who watched the movie ‘Up’ and he thinks it’s a story about an elderly terrorist who hijacks a balloon house.”
—Trevor Noah
"What a time this is to be alive. Two weeks ago we were on Instagram teaching each other how to make no-knead focaccia, and now we're dismantling systemic racism. I think that's progress."
—Jimmy Kimmel
And now, our feature presentation...
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Cheers and Jeers for Friday, June 12, 2020
Note: In breaking news, Antifa is now revealed to be secret organization plotting to establish total domination over "Deck the Halls" using shell organizations funded by Big La La La La La La La La La. Film at 11.
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til Canada Day: 19
Number of states in which Covid-19 cases are surging, according to NBC News: 26
Trump's approval rating in the latest Gallup poll, down 10 points from two weeks ago: 39%
Trump's approval on the economy, down from 63% in January: 47%
Amount the Trump reelection campaign is wasting on cable TV ads in the Washington D.C. area solely to cheer him up, according to The Daily Beast: $400,000
Depth to which Kathy Sullivan, 68, the first American woman to spacewalk, descended as she became the first woman to reach the bottom of the Challenger Deep: 35,853 feet
Year Queen Elizabeth sent her first email and made her first first Zoom call: 1976, 2020
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Weekend plans...
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CHEERS to the incredible shrinking confederacy. 155 years after the Civil war ended, it appears that the United States might—might—actually be on the cusp of enforcing that silly little notion that all of us are equal, regardless of the content of our melanin. Along with structural changes in local, state, and federal policing laws, it's long past time to sweep away the overt remnants of confederacy worship. Let's see if we can spot who's fer the idea and who’s agin' it:
Capitol Hill: House Speaker Nancy Pelosi on Wednesday called for the removal of Confederate statues in the nation's Capitol building after renewed calls to remove them from public spaces following the death of George Floyd.
Virginia and Florida: Statues commemorating traitors put up to intimidate black people are coming down at their fastest rate ever, notably in Richmond and Jacksonville. A new Morning Consult poll shows an overall 14-point drop in support for keeping those statues in place. (17 points among independents.)
Senate Armed Services Committee: Just voted to require the Pentagon to rename military bases and other assets currently named after Confederate generals
NASCAR, U.S. Marine Corps, U.S. Navy: No more confederate flags allowed at their races or on their bases. (And wait’ll you see the looks on the racists’ faces.)
The White House: No! No No No!!!!! Keep the statues! Keep the flag! Keep the names of the traitors on our military bases! Make everyone drink from Dixie Cups! And if that ain't subtle enough, keep your schedule open for June 19th—aka Juneteenth—when the president will hold his first campaign hate rally in months before a crowd of racists at the site of the 1921 white supremacist-fueled Tulsa massacre.
It would appear one of them is outnumbered.
CHEERS to a Loving legacy. Speaking of civil rights, when Mildred Loving died twelve years ago at 68, she left behind a milestone that reached its dramatic height 53 years ago. On June 12, 1967, the Supreme Court ruled on a case called Loving v. Virginia, striking down state miscegenation laws (Virginia's had been on the parchment since the mid-1600s). Since this is LGBT pride month, it's worth revisiting the statement Loving issued on the 40th anniversary of the announcement of its ruling in her case. When she fought for equal marriage rights, she meant for everyone:
The older generation’s fears and prejudices have given way, and today’s young people realize that if someone loves someone they have a right to marry.
Surrounded as I am now by wonderful children and grandchildren, not a day goes by that I don’t think of Richard and our love, our right to marry, and how much it meant to me to have that freedom to marry the person precious to me, even if others thought he was the "wrong kind of person" for me to marry.
I believe all Americans, no matter their race, no matter their sex, no matter their sexual orientation, should have that same freedom to marry. Government has no business imposing some people’s religious beliefs over others. Especially if it denies people’s civil rights.
I am still not a political person, but I am proud that Richard’s and my name is on a court case that can help reinforce the love, the commitment, the fairness, and the family that so many people, black or white, young or old, gay or straight seek in life. I support the freedom to marry for all. That’s what Loving, and loving, are all about.
And don’t get her started on wedding cakes.
JEERS to pandemic-monium. Heads-up, everybody. Apparently the decision has been made for us, via our elder superiors ensconced in their hermetically-sealed homes, that we're just going to have to stop worrying and learn to love the coronavirus:
States are rolling back lockdowns, but the coronavirus isn't done with the U.S. Cases are rising in nearly half the states, according to an Associated Press analysis, a worrying trend that could intensify as people return to work and venture out during the summer.
In Arizona, hospitals have been told to prepare for the worst. Texas has more hospitalized COVID-19 patients than at anytime before. And the governor of North Carolina said recent jumps caused him to rethink plans to reopen schools or businesses.
The virus is also gradually fanning out. “It is a disaster that spreads,” said Dr. Jay Butler, who oversees coronavirus response work at the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. “It’s not like there’s an entire continental seismic shift and everyone feels the shaking all at once.”
The problem is getting so serious that even the Trump administration is issuing new guidelines. In addition to washing your hands a lot and wearing a mask in public, the White House says all Americans should now rake their floors twice a day. (Thanks for the tip, Finland.)
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BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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END BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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CHEERS to the anti-Clarence Thomas. On tomorrow’s date in 1967, in an act of equal parts courage and smarts, Lyndon Johnson nominated Thurgood Marshall to become the first black justice on the U.S. Supreme Court. His 24 years on the bench worked out very well for America, and his previous work wasn't chopped liver, either:
After amassing an impressive record of Supreme Court challenges to state-sponsored discrimination, including the landmark Brown v. Board decision in 1954, President John F. Kennedy appointed Thurgood Marshall to the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Second Circuit.
In this capacity, he wrote over 150 decisions including support for the rights of immigrants, limiting government intrusion in cases involving illegal search and seizure, double jeopardy, and right to privacy issues. [...]
In 1965 President Lyndon Johnson appointed Judge Marshall to the office of U.S. Solicitor General. Before his subsequent nomination to the United States Supreme Court in 1967, Thurgood Marshall won 14 of the 19 cases he argued before the Supreme Court on behalf of the government. Indeed, Thurgood Marshall represented and won more cases before the United States Supreme Court than any other American.
And no one ever—ever—found a pubic hair on his Coke can.
CHEERS to home vegetation. In terms of TV, it’s pretty much the usual this weekend, starting with Chris Hayes and Rachel Maddow holding a lighter up to the sprinkler system at 30 Rock to douse the fires in their hair. Tonight at 10 on Real Time, Bill Maher talks remotely with cardiologist Dr. Dariush Mozaffarian, Larry Wilmore (a voice I really miss since his Comedy Central show was canceled in 2016), Rise of the Warrior Cop: The Militarization of America's Police Forces author Radley Balko, and Reason editor Matt Welch. New home video releases are mostly a bounty of retro-riches and you can check 'em out here.
Tomorrow night at 8 on Dateline NBC: an in-depth look at just how badly the Trump administration f*cked up the federal response to the Covid-19 outbreak. Then at 10, NBC airs the May 8, 1976 episode of SNL hosted by Madeline Kahn with musical guest Carly Simon. Sunday on 60 Minutes: dragging the 1921 Tulsa Massacre and Greenwood bombing up from the "forgotten" bin of history, and more reporting on the coronavirus pandemic. Then, at 9, CNN airs a live town hall event on racial injustice called Mayors Who Matter, featuring Mayors Muriel Bowser of Washington, Keisha Lance Bottoms of Atlanta, Lori Lightfoot of Chicago and London Breed of San Francisco. And John Oliver, who did such a stellar job last week exploring the “defund the police” movement, drops another new episode of Last Week Tonight Sunday at 11pm on HBO.
Now here's your Sunday morning lineup:
Meet the Press: Former Secretary of Defense Bob Gates and Sen. Tim Scott (R-Moscow).
This Week: TBA
Face the Nation: Sens. Cory Booker (D-NJ) and Tim Scott (R-Moscow); former FDA commissioner Dr. Scott Gottlieb; Seattle Police Chief Carmen Best; Dallas Fed president Rob Kaplan.
CNN's State of the Union: House majority whip Rep. Jim Clyburn (D-SC); Sen. James Lankford (R-Moscow); White House economic adviser and the guy who said the pandemic was locked down tight four months ago Larry Kudlow (R-Moscow).
Fox GOP Talking Points Sunday: Congressional Black Caucus chair Rep. Karen Bass (D-CA); epidemiologist Michael Osterholm; sleepy Ben Carson (R-Moscow).
Happy viewing!
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Ten years ago in C&J: June 12, 2010
CHEERS to turning the screws. United Nations to Iran: [Slappy Slappy Slappy Slappy!!] A victory for Obama:
The adoption followed several months of difficult negotiations by the five veto-wielding permanent U.N. Security Council members—the U.S., Russia, China, Britain and France—and non-member Germany. ... President Barack Obama said the new resolution imposes "the toughest sanctions ever faced by the Iranian government, and it sends an unmistakable message about the international community's commitment to stopping the spread of nuclear weapons."
Turkey and Brazil voted no. They didn’t want to break a nail.
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And just one more…
CHEERS to everyone's favorite Uncle Arthur. Tomorrow marks the late comedian—he would prefer "comedic actor"—Paul Lynde's 94th birthday. Regular C&J readers know I boast about him because he and I share the same hometown—Mt.Vernon, Ohio—and also a general distrust of politicians: "They talk in generalities and lies, and I think they’ve caused all our grief. … I hate thinking this because my dad loved politics." Paul wanted to be a serious actor, but he couldn't utter more than a few lines before everyone busted a gut...so that pretty much told him which way his winds of fortune were going to blow. Here are some classic zingers from the barely-closeted Center Square who, as Peter Marshall said, “made the world safe for sissies”…
Peter Marshall: Pride, anger, covetousness, lust, gluttony, envy, and sloth are collectively known as what?
Paul Lynde: The Bill of Rights.
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Peter Marshall: Paul, the state flag of Alabama is all white with one very distinctive feature. What is it?
Paul Lynde: Eye holes.
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Peter Marshall: Can you get cheese from a buffalo?
Paul Lynde: Only at gunpoint.
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Peter Marshall: Nathan Hale, one of the heroes of the American Revolution, was hung. Why?
Paul Lynde: Heredity.
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Peter Marshall: According to the Constitution, what is the proper term for our form of government?
Paul Lynde: At the moment? Shaky.
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Peter Marshall: What was your grandmother probably trying to do when she drank a mixture of kerosene, sugar, and onion juice?
Paul Lynde: We’ll never know. She blew up.
Want more? Here are 16 glorious minutes of Paul in action on Hollywood Squares. Gone but, as long as I'm around at least, never forgotten.
Have a great weekend. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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