Is it OK to paraphrase M’gillas Esther on a hot Day in June? to indulge just a little-teeny bit of retranslation? To break Proverb’s admonition:
בנפול אויביף לא תשמח ובכשולו לא תגל לבך
In the falling (failing) of your adversary you should not rejoice
And in his stumbling your heart should not be ebullient.
Well, as Jack Benny never said but the G’morrah does: There are times when a well-intentioned Sin trumps an ill-intentioned Mitzvah.
גדול עבירה לשמה ממצוה שלא לשמה.
So, here’s the gotcha scene from the Book of Esther … reworked just a bit.
Remember the plot. The King had some some bad insomnia. With all his wives, he apparently couldn’t tell the difference between Lunesta and Levitra. He called his merry pranksters to read from the archives and found out that Morty-Chai was a good guy who was ready to take a bullet for Achashveros. He calls Haman in who was hanging out in the courtyard. The King asks him how to honor the Guy who saved his life. Haman tells him to dress the guy like an Emperor and have an important person march him through town, proclaiming “This is how the King honors a great man,” thinking he, himself, was der grosse cheese. Then, Achashveros drops the boom on Haman and tells him to do so with Morty-Chai.
So, with just a bissel poetic license, I dream of inauguration day: Joe Biden:
וַיִּקַּ֤ח הָמָן֙ אֶת־הַלְּב֣וּשׁ וְאֶת־הַסּ֔וּס וַיַּלְבֵּ֖שׁ אֶֽת־מָרְדֳּכָ֑י וַיַּרְכִּיבֵ֙הוּ֙ בִּרְח֣וֹב הָעִ֔יר וַיִּקְרָ֣א לְפָנָ֔יו כָּ֚כָה יֵעָשֶׂ֣ה לָאִ֔ישׁ אֲשֶׁ֥ר הַמֶּ֖לֶךְ חָפֵ֥ץ בִּיקָרֽוֹ׃
So Drumpf took the garb and the horse and arrayed Biden and paraded him through the city square of DC; and he proclaimed before him: This is what is done for the man whom the Nation desires to honor!
וַיָּ֥שָׁב מָרְדֳּכַ֖י אֶל־שַׁ֣עַר הַמֶּ֑לֶךְ וְהָמָן֙ נִדְחַ֣ף אֶל־בֵּית֔וֹ אָבֵ֖ל וַחֲפ֥וּי רֹֽאשׁ׃
Then Biden and his Sweetie returned to the White House where they used to hang with Barak, while Drumpf stepped out of the helicopter, his head covered in mourning (see picture).
וַיְסַפֵּ֨ר הָמָ֜ן לְזֶ֤רֶשׁ אִשְׁתּוֹ֙ וּלְכָל־אֹ֣הֲבָ֔יו אֵ֖ת כָּל־אֲשֶׁ֣ר קָרָ֑הוּ וַיֹּ֩אמְרוּ֩ ל֨וֹ חֲכָמָ֜יו וְזֶ֣רֶשׁ אִשְׁתּ֗וֹ אִ֣ם מִזֶּ֣רַע הַיְּהוּדִ֡ים מָרְדֳּכַ֞י אֲשֶׁר֩ הַחִלּ֨וֹתָ לִנְפֹּ֤ל לְפָנָיו֙ לֹא־תוּכַ֣ל ל֔וֹ כִּֽי־נָפ֥וֹל תִּפּ֖וֹל לְפָנָֽיו׃
Then, Drumpf told his wife Melania and all his friends everything that had befallen him. His advisers and his hot wife Melania said to him, “If Joe, before whom you have begun to fall, is of progressive vegetarian soup-stock, you will not overcome him; you will fall before him and be indicted by the New York State Attorney General and Hey-Guy will no longer let you play with women … never again.”
And Joe had twice as many people at his inauguration as Drumpf l’Orange
and l’Orange is the New Black.
THAT’S ALL FOLKS … THE END
(Sorry, Fellow Elders, as Wilde Oscar had it: “I can resist anything but temptation” and the tempting wiles of that picture of Drumpf drew me in. Mea Maxima Culpa. Y’think there’ll be a Purim Shayni when people make little red cookies and throw them at politicians just for fun.)
