On this date in 2014, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, as well as 2019, “Crazy/Stupid Republican of the Day” published profiles of the U.S. House Representative from Texas’ 1st District, Louie Gohmert, the most insane member of Congress, hands down. We honestly have difficulty in keeping up with Gohmert’s antics, because every time he steps in front of a microphone (which is often) he gibbers out the sorts of incomprehensible, illogical statements that we believe can only be explained by him being medically diagnosed with a case of neurosyphilis (and we’re not joking, we think he needs a doctor).
Just SOME of the myriad of deranged things we’ve covered that Gohmert has said in our first column about him included the time he blamed the victims of the Aurora, Colorado mass shooting to task for not packing heat and shooting back in a crowded, dark theater with people scrambling for cover, and a shooter clad from head to toe in protective body armor that only a shot to the face would have taken him down, and for not believing in God enough. Or there was the time Gohmert invented the ludicrous “terror babies” conspiracy (including his meltdown when Anderson Cooper fact-checked him for it on CNN), or when he tried linking the overthrow of the Libyan government to Obamacare. We noted his bizarre alliance with Michelle Bachmann and how both made Islamophobic attacks on the State Dept.’s Huma Abedin, even going as far as to call John McCain “numbnuts” for defending her from their attacks.
There was the time Gohmert accused President Obama of trying to start up a new Ottoman Empire, or the many times he’s claimed President Obama is in league with the Muslim Brotherhood. We mentioned how Gohmert has claimed Obama’s Jobs plan was to funnel jobs to gays at the cost of traditional marriage, or how he compared homosexuality to beastiality and Hitler on the floor of the House.
Gohmert once called to eliminate the bipartisan Congressional Budget Office because the CBO reported that extending the Bush tax cuts would increase the federal deficit, and once lost it in a House hearing and, outraged, screamed at Attorney General Eric Holder to “not cast aspersions on his asparagus” (whatever that means). We mentioned Gohmert claiming our immigration crisis was worse than any “Republican War on Women” because illegal immigrants had snuck across the border and committed six hundred thousand (note: not six, not six hundred, not six thousand… SIX HUNDRED THOUSAND) sexual assaults against American women.
Our 2015 update on Gohmert included the time he went on FOX Business Channel and claimed President Obama sent three thousand troops to Liberia not to help stop the spread of Ebola Virus, but to get infected and bring it home to infect the entire country. Alternatively, Gohmert later claimed terrorists would weaponize Ebola (which is not a plausible bioterror weapon, at all), or try and explain why President Obama is actually a secret Muslim, or how he blackmailed General Petraeus into remaining silent about “what really happened in Benghazi”. He went on WorldNetDaily’s radio program and warned that ISIS was waiting right across the U.S./Mexico border (they’re not). Gohmert spent a lot of time in 2015 panicking about gay people, including their participation in our military citing the failures of ancient Greek armies because their troops would just “sit around giving massages to each other”, that “gays are persecuting Christians all across America”, or lie and say that the Matthew Shephard and James Byrd Jr. Hate Crimes Act “criminalizes the Bible”.Louie Gohmert also admitted to meeting with military leaders to ask them about concerns he had regarding the Jade Helm 15 exercises, as a potential takeover of Texas by the Obama administration (even though Texas is already part of our sovereign nation, so a takeover isn’t needed).
But perhaps our favorite sound bite of 2015 from Louie Gohmert was when he called for the impeachment of Supreme Court Justices Kagan and Sotomayor for their rulings on same sex marriage, going on to point out how gay marriage is wrong because he read a study about what happens when you put four heterosexual couples or four gay couples on an island together, and in the latter instance, they die out. The Gohmert “gay island” theory has been something he’s demonstrated as “proof” as to why same sex marriage shouldn’t happen repeatedly, as if it’s irrefutable proof.
The Gohmerting continued through our 2016 update, where Gohmert went on Tony Perkins’ “Washington Watch” show, and called for the U.S. Senate to block the nomination of Eric Fanning, President Obama’s nominee for Secretary of the Army, because Fanning is gay, and if he was in charge of our army, it would make Muslim countries think America approves of child sex abuse (yes, Gohmert’s still that much of a bigot). Gohmert, still obsessed with his “gay island” argument against gay marriage, spoke at Liberty University to ask for taxpayer dollars to perform a study to prove him correct, where four straight couples and four gay couples were put on islands to see which would thrive and which wouldn’t. (We keep telling you he’s f'n bonkers, and if you’re not getting it yet, we don’t know what it will take.)
Rep. Gohmert made a 2016 cameo on Family Research Council’s “Washington Watch” show, and talked openly of impeaching President Obama and IRS Commissioner John Koskinen, before falsely claiming that under the Obama administration, the American government has accused the Israeli government of “terrorism” and “war crimes”, and a month later went back on the show to promote a conspiracy theory that President Obama is deliberately allowing Muslim refugees into our country, or as he calls it, “importing terrorists”, so that they will attack citizens, and it will justify gun control laws being put into place to prevent the terrorists or anyone else from having them. After ten U.S. sailors were detained overnight by the Iranian government after their patrol boat became adrift and wandered into Iranian waters, Louie Gohmert, reflexively immediately called for a bombing campaign to begin against Iran… while Sec. of State John Kerry got Iran to release the sailors in under 24 hours.
Gohmert also was a frequent 2016 guest on the Alt-Right news site, Breitbart News, to say the only Hillary Clinton agrees with President Obama’s policies is because she’s being extorted to in order to avoid indictment over Benghazi or praise Donald Trump for telling off Pope Francis, showing his own distaste for the pontiff because he called for action against climate change. And, as Gohmert went on to explain, he can prove climate change is a myth because historic accounts from Leif Erickson talking about farming prove it used to be warmer in Greenland during the Viking Age (that doesn’t disprove it).
Louie Gohmert accused President Obama and European leaders of playing “Twiddlywinks” with radical Islamists, which isn’t a thing. (He meant Tiddlywinks.) On yet another episode of “Washington Watch”, Gohmert argued against transgender people being allowed to use the bathroom of the gender they identify as in a really, really creepy way, admitting that when he was in junior high, he would have used the loophole to peep on girls in the locker room and bathrooms.
By May 2016, Louie Gohmert hits his weirdest level of the year, where he takes to the floor of the House to take his “gay island” theory to the next level, saying that pushing for LGBTQ rights is wrong, because we can never have successful gay space colonies in the future. He then went on to cite the works of an End Times preacher who claims events like 9/11 have happened, because God is punishing America for gay marriage. A month later, Gohmert was back on a transphobic bigotry, claiming that if veterans are allowed to get sex changes at VA Hospitals, it would increase veteran suicides by twenty times the current amount.
On June 22nd, 2016, after the worst mass shooting in modern U.S. history claims the lives of fifty people in Orlando at the Pulse Night Club, House Democrats call for votes on common sense gun control, and when all such bills are blocked from coming to the floor, civil rights legend and Congressman John Lewis leads a sit-in on the House floor. At one point during this moving display, who busts in but Louie Gohmert, ranting and raving while yelling “RADICAL ISLAM!” at the Democrats. (As it turns out, the shooter’s actual motivation is later narrowed down to have been anti-gay rage because he himself was a closeted homosexual.) At the 2016 Voter Values Summit, Gohmert claimed Hillary Clinton was “mentally impaired”, saying her “brain is in a blender”, as proved by her being “unchristian” for “mocking someone who is special needs”. (On that last part… it’s unclear what incident Gohmert is referring to, but he of course did not mention how Donald Trump actually DID mock a disabled reporter.) Later in the same speech, Gohmert would claim that he was correct when he predicted the Matthew Shephard Hate Crimes Act would lead to the persecution of Christians (it didn’t).
Rep. Gohmert also once called into conservative radio talk show host Howie Carr, to claim that the Obama administration ordered an air strike to kill Al Qaeda operative Anwar Al-Alaki to cover up “all the different people he worked with within the administration”, spreading yet another paranoid conspiracy theory about secret Muslims within the American government. The next month, he was on the radio program of fellow CSGOPOTD Janet Porter, where he made the absurd claim that same-sex marriage was what brought about Noah’s Flood in the Bible. He then was a guest host for Janet Porter in the days that followed, and while talking on the phone with a transgender man, proceeds to tell him how “child abuse universally turns boys gay” (it doesn’t).
In April of 2017, Louie Gohmert again went on Breitbart News, this time to discuss Donald Trump’s first 100 Days in office, and gives the insane assessment that Trump “has the chance to be one of our nation’s best presidents when it comes to foreign policy because he’s being portrayed as being a little bit crazy—those are the people that always do the best on foreign policy.”
At the 2017 Faith and Freedom Coalition, Gohmert started slandering former FBI Director and Special Counsel Robert Mueller, outraged that Mueller had removed anti-Islamic reading materials from the FBI’s training headquarters during his tenure and thus, “He did a lot of damage and a lot of Americans are dead as a result of the purging of their training materials.” Gohmert also began trying to link Robert Mueller to the Council of American-Islamic Relations and, of course, then to his actual favorite bogeyman, the Muslim Brotherhood. In April of 2018 Gohmert actually released a 48 page manifesto to rail against Mueller.
On July 14th, 2017, Rep. Gohmert joined Congressman Dana Rohrabacher and Congressman Steve King to take turns running to the microphone on the floor of the House to turn a discussion of the renewal of the National Defense Authorization Act into a rant against transgender people, rambling about the seventeenth century battles between Austria and the Ottoman Empire, the latter of whom would castrate their troops to their disadvantage in… a particularly warped rant, even for him.
Louie Gohmert actually went on Fox News after the terror attack carried out in Charlottesville by white supremacists to claim it was somehow a false flag operation set up by President Obama, and that both people posing as KKK members and Black Lives Matter supporters were brought in off the same buses. (Are you getting how bats*** he is yet?)
As controversy swirled around Congressman Jim Jordan back in 2018, as he is suspected to have kept silence about wrestlers in the Ohio State wrestling program being sexually abused while he coached there, Gohmert defended the sexual assaults because “they were adults”, as if that made it okay.
On July 12th, 2018, as FBI Agent Peter Strzok takes the witness stand in front of Congress, Louie Gohmert goes f***ing bonkers, and accuses Strzok of lying before Congress, and then starts taking cheap shots and asking him how many times he had lied to his wife, prompting Democratic members of the hearing to ask Gohmert to “go take his medication”. (We’re assuming it’s for that neurosyphilis we’re betting he has.) Five days later, with several tech agencies testifying before Congress about how Russian influence campaigns online manipulated the 2016 election, Louie Gohmert began harassing the representative appearing from YouTube to scream at them, apparently upset that they were singling out Russia for condemnation, and therefore, only helping Democrats.
And so, now, we have another term in Congress that has gone by to show you the “Adventures of Gohmert” as the spirochetes continue burrowing through his brain tissue:
- October 23rd, 2018: Rep. Gohmert goes on Todd Starnes’ show and advises Donald Trump to declare martial law along the U.S./Mexico border and if California Gov. Jerry Brown doesn’t go along with the idea, to charge him with treason.
- December 6th, 2018: Only weeks after Cesar Sayoc mailed a bomb to George Soros after hearing anti-Semitic conspiracy theories about him… Louie Gohmert goes on the Fox Business channel to spread a whole new conspiracy theory about Soros, claiming he was deliberately damaging Israel.
- January 22nd, 2019: Gohmert votes against HR 676, which would prevent Donald Trump from doing the unthinkable and walking away from our allies in NATO to appease the Russians.
- January 23rd, 2019: Rep. Gohmert voted against HR 648, because he was gleefully enjoying the longest government shutdown in history.
- February 28th, 2019: Louie Gohmert votes against HR 1112, a bill which would have required universal background checks on all firearm purchases, and close the gun show loophole.
- March 7th, 2019: Gohmert votes against HR 183, a resolution to condemn anti-Semitism as a hateful extension of intolerance.
- March 14th, 2019: Rep. Gohmert votes against HJR 46, which sane members of Congress voted for to reject Donald Trump’s “national emergency” regarding the U.S. border and his attempts to reallocate funds for a border wall without Congressional approval.
- April 4th, 2019: Louie Gohmert is one of 158 Republicans who choose to vote against the re-authorization of the Violence Against Women Act, likely because they feel the 2nd Amendment remaining absolute is more important than preventing people with a history of domestic abuse from owning a firearm (which statistics show, makes them more likely to use those firearms against women in their lives).
- June 4th, 2019: Rep. Gohmert votes against the Dreamers Act, because he’s too xenophobic and partisan to care about immigration reform.
- July 1st, 2019: As the date approaches where Robert Mueller will be testifying before Congress, Louie Gohmert already starts railing against the Special Counsel in an interview with Politico, calling the former Director of the FBI an “anal opening”.
- July 16th, 2019: Louie Gohmert is one of 187 Republicans who vote against a resolution to condemn Donald Trump for his racist statements that four people of color in Congress should “go back where they came from”.
- August 6th, 2019: A particularly high-looking Louie Gohmert goes on KETK News in Texas for an interview, and comes out in defense of the white nationalist who carried out a mass shooting in El Paso against Mexicans and Mexican-Americans, demanding that he not be charged with a hate crime because “this is something that will be used to lock up preachers one day.”
- December 3rd, 2019: Rep. Gohmert is one of 71 Republicans who votes against a resolution to disallow Russia from re-entering the G7 and makes it the G8 until it leaves Ukraine.
- December 11th, 2019: Louie Gohmert tries to out whistleblower in the Ukraine scandal during the impeachment hearings (which is against whistleblower law, for those keeping track).
- December 18th, 2019: Gohmert ignores his Congressional duty to hold a president who has been proven to commit high crimes and misdemeanors accountable and votes against the impeachment of Donald Trump.
- February 13th, 2020: Rep. Gohmert goes on a rant where he attacks Roger Stone’s jury for finding him guilty, claiming the foreperson was “biased”, and the trial should be “redone” (remember, Gohmert, prior to going to Congress, was a judge).
- February 26th, 2020: Gohmert is one of four Republicans who vote against an anti-lynching bill, because yes, he’s that racist.
- March 19th, 2020: Louie Gohmert rambles about a conspiracy theory ant anti-Islamic hatemonger Philip Haney did not commit suicide by a self-inflicted gunshot, but that he was secretly killed by Obama administration officials.
- April 21st, 2020: Rep. Gohmert, on local TV in Texas, endorses a “magic powder” cure for Coronavirus supposedly being produced in Germany that can be sprinkled in water and imbibed to eliminate the virus. Fact-checkers have no idea what the hell he was rambling about.
- May 15th, 2020: Gohmert votes against the HEROES Act, to further support the healthcare industry and citizens affected by the Covid-19 pandemic.
- June 24th, 2020: Louie Gohmert forgets to take his meds again, and starts banging on a desk in a hearing to discuss Attorney General William Barr’s sudden and irregular firing of the SDNY U.S. Attorney, Geoffrey Berman. When ordered to cease the distraction, Gohmert offers the defense of a child, saying “there’s no rules about when you can make noise” (This is not a valid excuse.) and did not cease until he was threatened with being removed by the sergeant at arms.
- July 27th, 2020: Gohmert’s Democratic opponent in November, Hank Gilbert, holds a rally back home in TX-1 to protest federal agents being sent to Portland, Oregon, where they were kidnapping citizens off the street. Gohmert has white supremacists loyal to him turn up who start assaulting Gilbert’s campaign staffers. Gohmert fails to condemn the violence.
- July 29th, 2020: After weeks of professing to be “anti-mask” and spreading Covid-19 misinformation, Gohmert tests positive for Covid-19. Like the true f***wit he is, he called his staff together at the capitol TO TELL THEM HE HAD CONTRACTED A HIGHLY CONTAGIOUS DISEASE, JESUS F***ING CHRIST, HE IS SO GODDAMNED STUPID.
- August 1st, 2020: Gohmert gets on Twitter to post about how he will take hydroxychloriquine to treat Covid-19 (which has proven to NOT have any medical benefit to those taking it for Covid-19), dumbfounding pro-choice advocates when he says his decision is up to him and his doctor — not “government bureaucrats.” He’s… dumb enough to misuse their argument for his own love of snake oil cures…
Louie Gohmert possesses levels of madness usually reserved for people who witness the Old Ones in Lovecraft novels. We have no idea how such a ludicrous bigot never even gets a real primary challenge, because even in a conservative district, any sane person should be able to primary him. Why the GOP has continued to enable him for a decade and a half, we can’t say. But we do wish they’d stop, especially now that he’s embracing the Alt-Right. Texas’ 1st Congressional District has a +24 Republican lean in the Cook Partisan Voting Index and for whatever reason, the Republican Party doesn’t consider having a raving madman in their ranks a bug, but a feature, and have yet to successfully run a candidate against Gohmert in a primary. With that kind of partisan lean for the district, the fact that he has people loyal enough with him to literally attack his opponent’s supporters in the streets it seems unlikely that Louie Gohmert is going anywhere as this pea-brained, gibbering stooge has been elected eight times now.
