I’m a child and family therapist and I work in rural red Oregon. Although I’m not a school employee, my office is located inside a middle school, where I run a day treatment program. When the schools closed in March, we moved to an alternate location. In June, we moved back to the school, and that’s where we’ve been until our COVID outbreak shut us down last Wednesday.
From the very beginning, it was clear that I was taking the pandemic much more seriously than most of the people I work with, except my assistant, who has diabetes and a wife and child with breathing problems. The school nurse even told me that wearing a mask was silly, and that the requests from hospitals that we crafters make masks were just a ploy to keep us busy. (I continued making masks anyway.) I had very mixed feelings about seeing kids and their parents in person. In March, I did not go in for a week and a half. I was scared. I got good at zoom and doing therapy on the phone. At the beginning of April, I was ordered to return. There was no mask wearing and no social distancing requirements. My coworker and I were the only ones wearing masks. Everyone had their temperature taken upon arrival and we asked the kids to wash their hands. Management acted like checking temps and Lysol were unbeatable bulwarks against the disease.
At that time I asked to arrange our milieu to encourage social distancing, but I was overruled. When we returned to school in June, again I tried to move our furniture to encourage social distancing in the classroom. I was overruled. When distance learning (not in-person school) began in my community this month, once more I tried to arrange the classroom in a more safe way. We moved desks apart, but the big table where we typically met as a group remained. But it was already too late.
At that time, we finally began requiring masks, but the kids had been not wearing masks for the six months of the pandemic. We can’t hold them down and strap masks to their sweet little faces, so mask wearing was pretty uneven. By then, however, we’d already been exposed to the virus. By the time we started going to get tested, multiple staff and family members were already sick.
It started with a kid whose family said at intake, “He just has a bad cold. It’s not COVID.” That was September 8, and this youth joined our group the next day. His family started getting sick last week, but didn’t tell us right away. His mom tried to get a test but was turned away. Finally the grandma got sick, and her doctor said, “This is COVID.” That was Tuesday. By then three of four staff were showing symptoms. Grandma’s test came back positive Friday. Since Grandma caught this “cold” from the youth, it’s pretty clear to me he had COVID back on 9/8. So we’ve been exposed all this time. And Grandma never had a fever, so our COVID detector was completely useless.
My assistant started getting sick two weeks ago. He had fever and vomiting, but because he’s diabetic, everyone assumed it was related to that and not COVID. He was pressured to continue working even though he had a fever. He was worried he would lose his job and had been threatened with a reduction in hours. Monday I noticed I was out of breath and my chest hurt. By then another youth had already experienced a relapse of the asthma that had not troubled him in two years. Our teacher got a rapid test. It was negative. She was required to stay in the classroom. According to the school rules, she is not allowed to quarantine.
I should have fought harder to protect my team and the families we serve. I should have insisted on masking and social distancing. In March I was really scared, but there were very few cases in my county. By July, I had run out of that protective fear. Even though I knew I was in more danger then than in March, I allowed myself to be soothed.
Now everyone has been tested and it’s in the hands of public health. I was told that the rapid test is only 50% accurate, so the teacher had to get another test. When I was told that Grandma had tested positive, I knew I had it. In talking to people, I’ve realized that the tests are not 100% accurate. My friend back in South Carolina also works at a school, and of course there they are having school in person. She was exposed, got sick, and has tested negative twice. Why are people who are showing symptoms testing negative? At least here in Oregon, school isn’t happening in person, or we’d have exposed hundreds more children and families. As it is we exposed all of the staff, even people who don’t work directly with the team, because we’ve been forced into close-contact situations like practicing physical restraints on each other and crowded meetings. We exposed our bus drivers, cafeteria staff, custodians, and several other school staff.
And, as if all this isn’t enough stress for one middle-aged well-meaning slightly-autistic therapist, I now live in a dictatorship where the fascist leader is stating clearly that his reelection plan is to “get rid of the ballots.”
WHO IS FLYING THIS PLANE?
