Unconfirmed sources report that Eric Trump was so depressed about the family failure that he locked himself inside a closed garage for over an hour with his Tesla running.
[Update #1. Note: this is a joke; Tesla is an electric car and has zero emissions. Eric is fine. We wish him well and hope someday that he might actually own a nice, climate-friendly car like this.]
[Update #2. This joke was intended to make light of Eric’s stupidity, not of the subject of suicide. I apologize to those whom I have offended about this serious, sensitive and personal issue. And I thank them and others for raising this as a discussion about which we as a group should be more concerned. Sincerely, --Sharq]
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