Because Donald Trump lies about everything, right? All I need to hear is that Trump said a thing to determine—with metaphysical certitude—that that thing is false.
When I first heard about the alleged pee tape, I thought, “Hmm, interesting—but come on! Really? Too lurid to take seriously.” Now, after observing this pendulous sack of clown smegma pretty closely over the past five years, I’m not only convinced there’s a pee tape, I’d bet anything Marv Albert and Dick Vitale were at the foot of the bed doing color commentary and the San Diego Chicken shot the freshly profaned linens off the balcony with a T-shirt cannon shortly after the field of play was cleared.
So, yeah, Trump lies. Not exactly breaking news. But this is. Another silly, unnecessary, self-aggrandizing mound of hairy bullshit, courtesy of Yahoo! Sports:
Saturday afternoon, just before 1:30 p.m. Eastern Time, Trump sent an email to his mailing list, which read, in full: "Looking forward to being at the World Series in Atlanta tonight. Thank you to the Commissioner of Baseball Rob Manfred, and Randy Levine of the great New York Yankees, for the invite. Melania and I are looking forward to a wonderful evening watching two great teams!"
However, MLB disputes Trump's characterization of events. In a statement to Yahoo Sports' Hannah Keyser, MLB officials indicated that Trump, as previously reported, had requested to attend the game.
In a USA Today story earlier this week, Atlanta Braves CEO Terry McGuirk said, “He called MLB and wanted to come to the game. We were very surprised. Of course, we said yes.’’ MLB officials backed McGuirk's accounting of Trump's invitation.
Yup. Trump is the boss who invites himself to the office happy hour after discovering an employee’s Evite on their computer. He’s Michael Scott, only evil.
What are the chances everyone hides in the bathrooms until Trump leaves the stadium? They could pretend tonight’s game is actually in Houston. Eventually he’ll leave.
Come to think of it, maybe that strategy would work for the country as a whole. It’s definitely worth a shot.
UPDATE (6:14 p.m. PDT): Of course, he was extra racist while he was there:
I’ll bet he has to stop himself from doing a full Nazi salute. Overcoming long-established muscle memories can be a tall order.
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