Every once in a while we like to check in on the strange self-flagellation of Fox News’ coat hanger Peter Doocy. Doocy is their White House reporter and is tasked to take the GOP and ultra-right-wing talking points into the press briefings held by White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki. What usually happens is that Steve Doocy’s kid reiterates a fake news item being reported by Fox News and then asks Psaki to explain how this is not all President Joe Biden’s fault.
In part because she is very good at her job, and also because Peter Doocy is the intellectual equivalent to Steve Doocy, who in turn is the intellectual equivalent to expired mustard, it is an entertainment to watch Ms. Psaki verbally slap Petey around a bit. On Monday, with the War on Christmas in full effect over at Fox News headquarters, and with Sen. Lindsey Graham lying unhindered about a made-up CBO report, Doocy arrived with two opportunities to have his ass handed back to him.
In the wee hours of the morning last week, a man climbed up and set the Fox News headquarters ’ Christmas Tree ablaze. Fox News spent about 36-straight hours lamenting this terrible blow to Hannukah and freedom and Christianity and America in the War on Christmas. Over the weekend, reports came out that the suspect, 49-year-old Craig Tamanaha—now charged with arson, criminal mischief, reckless endangerment, endangering others, criminal trespass, criminal tampering, and disorderly conduct—was out on supervised release. The “criminals back on the streets” thing seems to only bother Fox News when those suspects burn Christmas trees and not the Capitol building, I guess?
Doocy came out asking Jen Psaki to answer for the NYPD and New York’s legal system, saying, “We’ve seen an arsonist burn down a half a million dollar Christmas tree in New York City, back out on the streets. Does the President think that’s good governing?” Psaki tried very calmly to explain that while she has already provided the media with their soundbite for fear-mongering about retail theft, “for specific cases, I would point you to the local police departments or the Department of Justice.”
Wait. That tree cost $500,000? Well, according to reports the fire “caused an estimated $500,000 in property damage.” Maybe Steve Doocy parked his son’s Christmas present under the tree? Too soon to know.
But Dooce-doggie-dogg was not finished with his penance. Citing Sen. Lindsey Graham’s CBO score on a phantom infrastructure bill that isn’t even being considered in Congress right now, Doocy wondered if Biden would be held to the made-up criteria that there be no debt incurred from the Build Back Better bill being worked on. Psaki reminded Doocy that Graham’s CBO score is about as worthwhile as the notepad Peter Doocy pretends to write notes on. It means nothing at all.
In fact, anything Lindsey Graham says means nothing, as he has shown himself willing to say anything at any time and has no convictions other than “stuff[ing] his face with free food” at Trump-branded country clubs. “What our focus is on is the existing bill that will lower the deficit and will, over 10 years, pay for the $2 trillion in tax cuts the Republicans didn’t pay for. They’re welcome, for that.”
Honestly, fuck them. But Psaki has the job because she doesn’t say that, I guess, and reminds Doocy that he is an imaginary reporter using imaginary information—it’s like his dad never let him grow up! “It is important to understand when anyone raises a question about this new CBO score, it is a fake score about a bill that doesn't exist and we should focus on the actual bill."