As C&J posts its last column of 2021, we leave you with this…
“Do your little bit of good where you are; it’s those little bits of good put together
that overwhelm the world.”
—Desmond Tutu
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Cheers and Jeers for Thursday, December 30, 2021
Note: C&J will be off tomorrow, and we'll return Monday to kick off our 2022 season. From all of us at C&J: Happy New Year and we wish you much crispy, yummy, zesty coleslaw in your future.
—Me and the National Coleslaw Board, which had $3 in extra PR money to throw at me
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til the next full "wolf moon": 18
Percent by which supply-chain congestion has dropped in the last month: 50%
Estimated cost of the top 10 climate disasters around the world this year: $170 billion
Estimated cost of dealing with Hurricane Ida alone: $65 billion
Americans polled for a Washington Post-Schar School survey who said in 2012 and 2021 that the federal government should do more to regulate how internet companies handle privacy: 38%, 64%
Increase in Maine's minimum wage on January 1: 12.15 → 12.75 ($13 in Portland)
Age of Nichelle Nichols, aka Lt. Uhura, as of Tuesday: 89
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Your Thursday Molly Ivins Moment:
There is no evidence connecting Iraq to Al Qaeda. As Rep. Dennis Kucinich of Ohio said in a recent speech:
"Iraq has not committed any act of aggression against the United States. Iraq was not responsible for 9-11. Iraq was not responsible for the anthrax attack on our nation. The United Nations has yet to establish that Iraq has useable weapons of mass destruction. There is no intelligence that Iraq has the ability to strike at the United States. According to the CIA, Iraq has no intention to attack America, but will defend itself if attacked. [...]
Richard Perle, chair of the Pentagon's Defense Advisory Board, is a leading member of the small attack-Iraq-no-matter-what claque that is relentlessly pushing this war. He said bluntly last week in Britain that it makes no difference whether the U.N. weapons inspectors find anything or not. Great, we're ready to go to war on no evidence.
—January 2003
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Bracing for 2022…
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JEERS to the curse of Nostrabillydamus. At the start of every December I write the same thing in C&J: "You just know there are several beloved mega-celebrities who will inconvenience us by dying this month." And here we are. The latest to leave us, admittedly at fairly ripe old ages: former Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV) and NFL coach and broadcaster John Madden. The former was a card-carrying member of the Daily Kos community, and looking back through the C&J archive we found this nugget from an interview with Salon at the very first "Yearly Kos" (now Netroots Nation) convention in Las Vegas, which he attended:
Are the blogs just another constituency for you, sort of an online AFL-CIO or something?
I wish that were the case, but it's simply not the truth. I've come to learn one thing: They're not controllable. If you do something they like, they pat you on the back. If you do something they don't like, they kick you in the rear end.
When it came to Harry's tenure, we kicked him a lot, especially when he seemed to waste a lot of precious time by hesitating to go big at the start of President Obama's first term with a huge Democratic majority. But he also got his share of back pats when he spent a couple years ('07-'08) cooling the jets of the Dubya regime and then getting the ACA passed. And when he made his pancreatic cancer known, we the "uncontrollable" rabble commissioned Sara R to create one of her legendary community quilts, which he loved:
We wish Reid (82) and Madden (85) a safe trip up yonder. I think I can guess who’ll do most of the talking in the elevator.
CHEERS to great moments in chemistry. 110 years ago this week, in 1911, Marie Curie received her second Nobel Prize for her work on radioactive elements:
After Marie and Pierre Curie first discovered the radioactive elements polonium and radium, Marie continued to investigate their properties. In 1910 she successfully produced radium as a pure metal, which proved the new element's existence beyond a doubt. She also documented the properties of the radioactive elements and their compounds.
Radioactive compounds became important as sources of radiation in both scientific experiments and in the field of medicine, where they are used to treat tumors.
The Nobel committee honored Marie "in recognition of her services to the advancement of chemistry by the discovery of the elements radium and polonium, by the isolation of radium and the study of the nature and compounds of this remarkable element." You might say she got a glowing review.
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BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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END BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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CHEERS to Cheers and Jeers Theater. Our final production of the year is perhaps the best one yet. Please be seated as the lights dim:
The Hearing: A Play in One Act
Curtain Up
Scene: The courtroom of U.S. District Judge Timothy Kelly, where the lawyer for four members of the Proud Boys terrorist network is trying to get them cut loose for their actions during the January 6 insurrection at the U.S. Capitol
Bailiff: Court will now come to order. The Honorable Judge Timothy Kelly presiding.
Judge Kelly: Be seated. What's your request, counselor?
Lawyer: Your honor I demand you drop all charges against my four clients, because what they did on January 6th was simply the exercise of their freedom of speech.
Judge: Denied. Court dismissed. Happy new year.
Lawyer: Doooooooohhhhh!!!
Curtain Down
Tony Awards committee: please donate my trophies to the orphans fund.
JEERS to the great Republican vanishing act. Three years ago, under the cover of darkness, House Republicans led by Trey Gowdy and Bob Goodlatte, having reached the end of their witch hunt, issued their final word on exactly what they found during their investigations of Hillary's emails and the FBI's alleged Deep State conspiracy against Trump. And here it is:
She remains...unlocked-up.
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Fifteen years ago in C&J: December 30, 2006
JEERS to traumatic brain injuries. That's the only thing I can think of that would've made Republican Rep. Virgil Goode of Virginny write this to a constituent:
The Muslim Representative from Minnesota [Keith Ellison] was elected by the voters of that district and if American citizens don’t wake up and adopt the Virgil Goode position on immigration there will likely be many more Muslims elected to office and demanding the use of the Koran. ... I fear that in the next century we will have many more Muslims in the United States if we do not adopt the strict immigration policies that I believe are necessary to preserve the values and beliefs traditional to the United States of America and to prevent our resources from being swamped.
Oh, that reminds me...the Virginia Fifth District Christmas party has been moved from the Chancellery to the Reichstag. And fair warning—Virgil wants to see those jackboots shine.
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And just one more...
CHEERS to special deliveries. That Louis DeJoy. What a postmaster. He really cares, based on this totally official-looking email I found in my in-box Tuesday:
Dear Customer,
We were unable to deliver your parcel US9516789935279
We require additional details to attempt to re-delivery this package. The address provided also appears to be incomplete. In addition to payment information.
Fees to pay: 0.99 Dollar
Date: 28/12/2021
At the bottom it contains a special tracking link that goes not to USPS.com but to "feudhl.com" with a bunch of numbers after it.
Y'know, despite the odd "0.99 Dollar" and date expressed as day-month-year instead of month-day-year, and the tracking number that gives me nothing but an error message, and the fact that I never sent a package that he’s attempting to “re-delivery,” I can only conclude that this email was sent personally, out of extreme concern for my satisfaction as a customer, by Postmaster DeJoy himself. On the next-to-last day of the year, Louie appears to have turned over a new leaf and left the dark side behind, making 2021 the best year ever.
And we all lived happily ever after. The End.
Have a nice Thursday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial
“I think I’m going to splurge for a Cheers and Jeers kiddie pool. At 44 I got to stay in shape.”
—Tom Brady
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