My mother and I live in different states separated by almost 400 miles. My mother is 81 years old. Her father and at least four of her six siblings are/were diabetics. She was told she was pre-diabetic years ago. She would do a fasting test most mornings but she never did anything with the information and she would rationalize any readings she felt were too high. I think her fasting levels were running around 145-160. She refused to take any medication or alter her diet or lifestyle. She has a HUGE sweet tooth and will take a cookie out of the package every time she walks by until they are all gone, consuming a dozen or more cookies in a day or two. She will skip a meal because she’s not hungry but eat the dessert. She also LOVES bread. She will eat 3-4 rolls or pieces of garlic bread when she goes out and then be too full to eat her meal.
A few weeks ago she told me she felt a lump on the side of her breast near her armpit. She survived Stage IV colon cancer over ten years ago but was told that the most common place for the cancer to return was breast cancer, so she feared the worst. I convinced her to go to the doctors to have it checked out. She had an ultrasound and a biopsy. The good news is that it seemed to be a hematoma from where bumped herself accidentally a few days before she discovered the lump. The bad news is while she was at the doctors they did routine blood work and told her that she was now diabetic (fasting level around 260 and A1C of 10.8) and needed to start taking medication.
My mother is not a good or compliant patient. She ignored her cancer symptoms for months (which is how she ended up with Stage IV cancer) and my sister and I were prepared to watch her die from it because she was too scared/stubborn to be tested. Luckily, at the time she had a wonderful primary doctor who kept working on her to get tested. He convinced her to do the ColoGuard test and when that was positive, convinced her to get a colonoscopy which he arranged for her within just a couple of days. The doctor who did the colonoscopy pulled some strings and called in some favors and she was in the hospital having surgery in less than a week of that colonoscopy. She refused to do traditional IV chemo because her second husband (who had died of colon cancer in 2003) did chemo and it was brutal. He told her it would have been better to have a few good months than to be so sick and live six months longer. She was offered an experimental pill type of chemo which she did take and she has been cancer free since then. I credit her family physician for saving her life because he really kept on top of her treatments.
Unfortunately, that physician had to give up his private practice due to a nasty divorce and now works on staff at the local hospital. My mom had to choose a new primary doctor and she does not like the one who took most of her old doctor’s patients. I have not been able to convince her to talk to her friends and just transfer to someone else that her friends recommend. Anyway, back to the main story. When this doctor who my mother doesn’t like told her she had diabetes and needed to take medication, her immediate response was “no, I’m not doing that.” Her primary told her she could take Metformin, Januvia, or Glimepiride. She asked me about them and I gave her what information I could. She did not want to take Metformin because a friend told her it was dangerous and banned. She did not want to take the Januvia because it was going to be expensive (I told my mom this was a non-issue for her because she could easily afford whatever medication she needed). She was afraid she would have side effects to the medications. I told her she could ask the doctor for some samples or a trial prescription so she wouldn’t be stuck with a bunch of pills if she couldn’t tolerate them. Her family doctor did not have any samples but would call in a two week supply of whatever she wanted to try. My mother was still resisting doing anything. She said she just wanted to test every day and watch what she was eating and see if it would come down by itself. I had to convince her that squeezing 6-8 oranges and drinking a big glass of orange juice every evening before bed was not something she should be doing. She would need to change her eating habits. She complained that she wouldn’t be able to eat anything, and I explained to her that she would have to give up some things, but she would not starve and would still be able to enjoy meals. I put together some info for my mom on the complications of untreated diabetes and also a sample diet and food portion chart and mailed it out to her. Over the next several days on my nightly phone call to her (a tradition started when she was diagnosed with cancer years ago), I convinced her that she could not ignore the diabetes diagnosis and if she didn’t like her primary doctor, she could see an endocrinologist for it instead. I found one online near her and she called in to get an appointment. The endocrinologist was booked until mid-April (and it was only January at the time) but his PA had an opening in mid-February which my mom thankfully took. I’m hoping that my mom likes the PA and endocrinologist and will stick with them and follow their advice.
I’m making a care package for my mom with some diabetic friendly products like Carbquick, Splenda and Swerve sugar substitutes along with some low carb dessert recipes; zero sugar chocolate chips, zero sugar pancake syrup, zero sugar honey substitute, some low carb protein bars I found at Aldi, and some No Sugar Added candies from Russel Stover. I’m also including the labels from some perishable items like low carb bagels and lavash bread, low carb brands of yogurt, and no sugar added fruits like peaches and grapefruit segments so she can see what to look for when she goes to the store. She should have it by the time you read this.
It’s hard when your loved ones live far away and you can’t be there to support them. I’m hoping that my mom’s outcome is good and she will listen to the endocrinologist and follow their advice and take whatever medications they feel she needs. I know I’ll be encouraging her to do so.
I was diagnosed with diabetes just over a year ago. I never told my mom because I didn’t want her to worry about it. My husband has been a diabetic for over five years and I had gestational diabetes (twice) so she doesn’t think it’s odd that I know all about diets and products. Maybe I should break down and tell her so she doesn’t feel like she going it alone.
UPDATE: I wrote the above on Feb 12. My mom was supposed to see the endocrinologist today (Feb 16) but because of expected snow she cancelled the appointment. The soonest she could be rescheduled was mid-June but they will call her if they have a cancellation before then. I told her she could not wait until June to start taking any medication. She is getting her second Covid vaccine on February 17 and she said she wanted to wait 3 days before she starts to take the new medication so she will know if any side effects are coming from the vaccine. I talked to her primary and had them call in a prescription for her (she decided on the Metformin). I’m hoping she follows through and starts taking it on the 20th and testing every morning. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that the endocrinologist’s office will call sooner rather than later with a cancellation so she can start working with them.
UPDATE 2: My mom had her second dose of the vaccine as planned on Feb 17. She has had more side effects from this one — pain at the injection site and overall joint pain, fatigue, and fever. Hopefully, this will be subsiding in the next day or so. She received the care package I sent her yesterday and she had questions about some of the products and how net carbs are calculated. She will pick up the new prescription either today or tomorrow and will hopefully start taking it with no side effects. Although she doesn’t really like it, I feel that she is now listening to what I’m trying to tell her and taking her situation seriously. I’ll keep you posted.