The GOP Changes Mascots: Satire
By Lyer, Fibski & Propagandovitch, famous Moscow PR outlet
For Immediate Release:
In a move that surprised literally no one, the Republican Party changed its mascot from an elephant to an ostrich.
“The elephant symbol is old and we wanted something new”, a senior official at the National Republican Congressional Committee (NRCC) said. “The ostrich is powerful and has ‘rich’ as a part of its name. Get it?”
“Besides”, he continued, “the elephant is known for remembering things and we remember nothing. We are proud of that, in fact. Remembering things means we would keep having to apologize and that is one thing we will not do.”
Critics were quick to point out that the ostrich is reputed to stick its head in the sand to avoid imminent danger and inconvenient truths. It is also a really mean bird.
When asked about this, the NRCC official noted, “We don’t care about avoiding problems or regarding anyone’s feelings, for that matter. This is the GOP we are talking about. We make up our own reality.”