Your Thursday Molly Ivins Moment
Molly pegged it over a quarter century ago. She wrote this in 1993, but it could’ve been written yesterday:
“There is more hooey spread about the Second Amendment. It says quite clearly that guns are for those who form part of a well-regulated militia, i.e., the armed forces including the National Guard. The reasons for keeping them away from everyone else get clearer by the day. [...]
In truth, there is no rational argument for guns in this society. This is no longer a frontier nation in which people hunt their own food. It is a crowded, overwhelmingly urban country in which letting people have access to guns is a continuing disaster. Those who want guns—whether for target shooting, hunting or potting rattlesnakes (get a hoe)—should be subject to the same restrictions placed on gun owners in England—a nation in which liberty has survived nicely without an armed populace.
Continued...
The argument that “guns don’t kill people” is patent nonsense. Anyone who has ever worked in a cop shop knows how many family arguments end in murder because there was a gun in the house. Did the gun kill someone? No. But if there had been no gun, no one would have died. At least not without a good footrace first. Guns do kill. Unlike cars, that is all they do.
For years, I used to enjoy taunting my gun-nut friends about their psycho-sexual hang-ups—always in a spirit of good cheer, you understand. But letting the noisy minority in the National Rifle Association force us to allow this carnage to continue is just plain insane.”
I do think gun nuts have a power hang-up. I don't know what is missing in their psyches that they need to feel they have to have the power to kill. But no sane society would allow this to continue.
Twenty-eight years later, the carnage continues. I’ll make a note to circle back and see how things are going in 2049.
And now, our feature presentation...
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Cheers and Jeers for Thursday, March 25, 2021
Note: How come Hershey never comes up with vaccines? Or Nestle? Or Cadbury? Or Whitman's? Or Ghirardelli? Please sign the petition and force their R&D departments to right this enormous wrong. Thx. —Mgt.
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til the start of Ramadan: 18
Days 'til Regal Cinemas (2nd largest chain) reopens its theaters: 8
Expected U.S. economic growth this year, according to the Federal Reserve: 6.5%
Percent of Americans polled by Gallup who believe the process of buying a gun should be more strict and less strict, respectively: 57%, 9%
Americans polled by Quinnipiac who believe all gun sales should require background checks, including those purchased via gun shows and online sales: 83%
Percent of Democrats and Republicans, respectively, in the same poll who support a ban on assault weapons: 83%, 37%
Number of hospitalizations and deaths, respectively, from the flu in Maine this season: 3 / 1
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Puppy Pic of the Day: When three is not a crowd…
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CHEERS to Super Lectern Man. Today's the big day. After two months of needling, cajoling, heavy sighing, eye-rolling, and endless pointing at their watches, the media finally get their chance to needle, cajole, roll their eyes, sigh heavily, and endlessly point at their watches during President Biden's first press conference. It goes without saying that these things must be handled delicately. The entire word is watching, and the president is the public face of America. Every word and gesture must be delivered precisely, with confidence and optimism and an unmistakable message that together we are one nation united in common purpose. Here, let former president Trump show you exactly how it's done, from a press conference Master Class that took place one year ago this week as the pandemic began its nationwide rampage:
Reporter Peter Alexander: What do you say to Americans who are scared?
President Trump: I say that you are a terrible reporter, that's what I say. That's a nasty question. You're doing sensationalism. And the same with NBC and Comcast. I don't call it Comcast. I call it 'Con-Cast.'
Let me just tell you something, that's really bad reporting. And you ought to get back to reporting instead of sensationalism.
Joe's presser starts at 1:15, roughly five minutes after reporters get their list of questions from the RNC.
CHEERS to America's top working stiff. Congrats are in order for now-former Boston Mayor Marty Walsh, who can now officially add "Secretary of Labor" to his resume. With his Senate confirmation this week, he now becomes the point person for jobs, jobs, jobs, jobs, and jobs. But who is this guy? What's his angle? Where does he hang his hat? Who's pullin' his strings? What side of his bread gets the butter? We aimed to find out, and here are Five Things You Must Know About Marty Walsh—#5 will SHOCK you:
1) Born Martin Joseph Walsh in Boston's Dorchester neighborhood on April 10, 1967 (he's an Aries), child of John Walsh of Callowfeenish near Carna, County Galway, and Mary (née O'Malley), from Rosmuc.
2) After graduating from Boston College, he joined the Laborers' Union Local 223 at age 21 and served as the union's president until he became the mayor of Boston.
3) Served in the Massachusetts House from 1997 to 2014, and as Boston's mayor from 2013 to 2021.
4) His post-confirmation pledge, via Twitter: "I grew up in a working class family — I know the struggles America’s workers face every day. So I will work on your behalf to create jobs, bolster workforce training, and protect workers’ rights, safety and pay."
5) He speaks Irish!!!
I told you #5 would shock you. Never underestimate the power of well-placed exclamation points hooked up to the power grid.
CHEERS to walkin' the walk. On March 25, 1965—a few weeks after "Bloody Sunday" during which police set upon peaceful civil rights marchers with fire hoses, clubs and dogs—Martin Luther King, Jr. led thousands of marchers to the State Capitol in Montgomery for a rally. It looked something like this (that's late Congressman John Lewis second from the left):
The marchers got three things out of it: Lyndon Johnson's signing of the Voting Rights Act of 1965, a permanent place in civil rights history and, much less publicized, aching arches.
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BRIEF SANITY SUSPENSE BREAK
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END BRIEF SANITY SUSPENSE BREAK
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JEERS to the dark ages of labor exploitation. Today is the 110th anniversary of the Triangle Shirtwaist fire that, in 18 minutes, killed 146 garment workers in New York City. The workers in that shithole had gone on strike a couple years earlier for better pay and safety improvements, but management decided that, no, we'd rather be dicks. And as so often happens, it took a catastrophe to finally wake people up. In her centennial anniversary column ten years ago, Laura Clawson wrote:
We don't…have fire alarms and sprinklers and adequate exits and other workplace protections because big employers want us to have them.
We don't have them solely because of tragedy. We have them because workers have joined together and fought for them. In 1911, workers' struggle was the context that made the Triangle fire something other than a meaningless accident, that showed a way to prevent similar tragedies. […]
"Government regulations" and "workplace safety laws" sound like dry terms, but this is what they're about: nothing less than people's lives. And that is something to remember when you hear the likes of Scott Walker and John Kasich arguing that employers oughtn't be bound by those pesky government regulations.
See also: Trump administration dumpster fire, 2017-2021.
CHEERS to more March Madness! The NCAA thingamahoochie continues. Here are some random recent scores from this week, which will reinforce your wise decision to rely on C&J for timely sports information:
59-42
73-56
79-67
74-43
81-62
69-48
The current bracket looks like this. I think the men are playing too. A shame they don't get as much attention.
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Ten years ago in C&J: March 25, 2011
CHEERS to educating the educators. Secretary of Education Rock McDreamy Arne Duncan, teachers unions, and other education-related muckety mucks met in New York recently to talk about—for the umpteenth time—why our childrenz ain't lernin'. And, once again, evidence is sitting right in front of our chalk dust-covered faces (via two new studies) for how we might make things a little better:
Countries that outpace the U.S. in education employ many different strategies to help their students excel. They do, however, share one trait: They set high requirements to become a teacher, hold those who become one in high esteem and offer the instructors plenty of support. […]
• They draw teachers from the same pool of applicants as those from other selective professional careers.
• Higher teacher salaries—rather than smaller class sizes—were a better indicator of student performance.
We would add one more thing that top-performing foreign school systems have in common: actually wanting their children to learn—like, with real facts and stuff. Good luck getting conservatives on board with that.
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And just one more…
CHEERS to three minutes with Michelle. The real string-puller behind the administration of the 44th president—don’t deny it, we all know she’s the Deep State puppetmaster—is out with a new Netflix show for kids on healthy eating, so Michelle Obama is making the rounds on the late-night circuit, proving once again that she’s among the coolest humans ever to walk the pale blue dot in space. Here’s a snip on life after the White House, and why the covid lockdown has been a piece ‘o cake in the Obama house:
Watch the full interview here. Her Netflix series, if you’re interested, is called Waffles + Mochi. Not to be confused with Melania Trump’s upcoming Breitbart series: Hamberders + Venom.
Have a nice Thursday. And cheers to Gloria Steinem—today's her 87th birthday but we'll just call it the 48th anniversary of her 39th. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial
Fox Anchor Harris Faulkner Interrupts Trump Interview to Break News That Bill in Portland Maine Has Written Something Intelligent—Then Retracts Seconds Later
—Mediaite
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