I am feeling somewhat perplexed and sad. Let me share my story.
I live with my daughter and her 8 year old twins. I’m biased but I think they are special. In reality, they are fairly ordinary children — active, curious, sassy, pushing boundaries when possible. But mostly charming and generous. When they were little, they had their special ‘old people’ and dogs they had to visit when we went on our walks. They liked to ask me to buy treats to share with their friends or bake cookies to take to their on their visits to regular older friends. Last year, the neighbor was telling my daughter that he had run out of money to finish his patio project and they later went and offered him the $8 they had saved to help him out because they knew the project was important to him. They can also be greedy little piglets and don’t hesitate to shake any card they get for their birthday, Valentine or whatever to watch the $$$ rain down on them. They are children after all.
Lately, they have been adding a couple of dollars to any card or letter they send. They do this on their own out of their their allowance. I only get involved when they want to send coins because I am the keeper of the stamps. They have a very successful grand uncle who lives in a penthouse in the NYC financial district and they put $2 in his birthday letter and told him to use it wisely. He was charmed and just thanked them. They have done the same with several other people.
Last week, they sent thank you cards to my friend they call ‘Tia’ (aunt in Spanish) and included a couple of dollars. her reaction made me sad. She was very perplexed and asked, “Why did they send me money?” She had no way to explain or understand. I had to explain that it was all their idea and their work. I told her that they enjoyed her gifts to them and wanted her to have a treat. It was totally foreign to her and it took a while for her to accept that there was no manipulative intent, nor was not staged or planned maneuver. She genuinely did not understand a generosity that sprang from affection.
My friend is a Trumpie. We stay friends by keeping our conversations to our families, the weather and reminiscing about our long history together. She has a grandson the same age as my grandkids that she loves dearly but she can’t imagine a time when he would give instead of take. I was sad because she genuinely does not understand generosity. She showers her daughter and her son and grandson with love and gifts. But I don’t remember her mentioning anything they give her except on Christmas and birthdays.
This made me wonder if that is part of the trouble of the hard right … they lack an appreciation of altruism and generosity, They don’t understand wishing someone well and thinking in terms of what would be good, fun, loving for someone else. That is so sad. I see this as a desolation of spirit and a desert of good will.
I once heard grace grace described as getting more and better than you deserve. But I think it’s only grace when you understand and appreciate that it is more and better, not when you question and suspect and don’t really accept. I would not want to live that way.
Thanks for listening. This is not breaking news or even a genuine ‘aha’ moment and it exceeds my allotted one diary every 3 to 5 years. Thanks for your generosity in reading this dirge.