I came back 2 days early because my ECMO patient was not going to make it. All the medical options have been exhausted, his lungs will not heal enough to support life and a transplant is not an option. He realized that he was not getting better and was dying. He met with the palliative care team and a priest. He requested that his life support be withdrawn. His family has been here the last three days. His only request was he wanted to say goodbye to his nurses.
We spoke spoke privately about life and death—his journey’s end. His biggest worry was for his family but he was not afraid. He thanked me as he held my hand—there were tears in my eyes but not his. Never, have I witnessed such courage and such faith. I was not able to be there for the withdrawal of life support—just not emotionally able, a member of the palliative team withdrew his life support. I feel such a sense of personal failure because at the end my courage and strength failed, leaving me unable to do my duty of final care. My grief and regret are fierce. He died peacefully and quickly, this afternoon, surrounded by his family and received last rites.
The final line from Psalm 23– “and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever.”