My brother (76) called this afternoon to say he was going to die in a few hours in hospice and wanted to say goodbye. I know what city and neighborhood he lived in but he would never tell me his address. I thought it was because he feared a government conspiracy, but found out that he was ashamed to tell me he had been forced to moved to senior housing after many layoffs over the years as a programmer. As an independent contractor, he never had a chance at a retirement plan.
We weren’t close in the conventional sense, but we talked at least weekly, sometimes daily. He didn’t want me to have to assume his debts or get involved in his problems.
Politically, we were polar opposites. We were born to parents who were Eisenhower Republicans, but Vietnam moved me toward the left, as it did with my brother. But in later years, he had a massive heart attack. As a result, he became “born again” and a politically conservative Christian. He alienated everyone in our family with his homophobia, racism, and prejudice over the last twenty years, but I will love him until I die. Nothing will change that.
I think we were close enough to look past our politics (not counting all the arguments and hang-up calls). Many people are not.
Let’s not die alone because the politics of the time are divisive. Call someone and apologize or forgive someone you love for their lousy choices.
Who governs us won’t matter if we don’t survive the struggle.