At the intersection of irony and schadenfreude you have the tragicomic tale of Mike Pence—the man who carried Donald Trump’s water for four years before eventually being boiled alive in it like a bemused albino lobster.
Every time his choad and savior came around, Pence flushed his dignity like a kilo of black tar heroin at a pop-up DEA convention. So while Rudy Giuliani’s dildo summit was no doubt the highest low point of Donald Trump’s post-election meltdown, Pence’s meticulously nurtured post-Trump political career being run down on the highway like a frightened deer before being dragged into a ditch and beaten to death with a garden shovel has to be the second funniest.
Because Pence didn’t do something that was literally impossible for him to do—i.e., send the election back to the states, or whatever febrile Adderall hallucination Trump had in his head that day—he’s now persona non grata among a large contingent of Republicans.
Don’t believe me? Take a look for yourself:
Forbes:
Former Vice President Mike Pence’s remarks during the conservative Faith & Freedom conference on Friday were briefly disrupted by hecklers, likely over his refusal to help former President Donald Trump overturn his 2020 election loss.
An unknown number of attendees at the conservative Christian event, populated with steadfast Trump supporters, chanted “traitor” as Pence began his remarks.
Pence ignored the shouts and attempted to speak over them, delivering his signature line to raucous cheers: “I’m a Christian, a conservative and a Republican, in that order.”
That. Is. Fucking. Hilarious.
Imagine how many times uber-Christian Pence wanted to speak up about Trump’s debauched life and presidency but held his tongue out of a sense of loyalty unseemly personal ambition. It was beyond cringeworthy every time he sucked up to the least Jesus-y man on the planet, and now it’s all for naught. Pence has about as much chance of becoming president as Bob Dole. Or a Bob Dole bobblehead, for that matter.
And it all came just in time for Schaden-Friday. I love it when that happens.
Oh, well. At least no one tried to hang him. That’s progress, I suppose.
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