Introduction
Whenever I see this guy I am fixated on his mustache. I wondered what he would look like without it so I made this:
Then in my somewhat (somewhat?) weird mind I got to thinking about mustaches and ended up writing this about Trump and Stephen Miller.
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I have been peering into the abyss of Trump’s mind trying to figure out why Donald Trump in his fabled lunacy takes someone like Mike Lindell seriously. I have concluded that it must be Mr. Pillow’s magic mustache.
Insiders report that Trump was with Steven Miller watching this Stephen Bannon interview of Mike Lindell (above). Trump mused that it seemed amazing that anyone took a pillow millionaire seriously.”I’ve let myself be photographed with him but I mean the guy is a fucken idiot” Trump said.
He went on “besides, I made my money the hard way” Trump said, “building the greatest real estate empire in history. This guy made pillows, he gave me a few and they were such crap that I wouldn’t even put them in the guest rooms I rent to the Secret Service.”
Miller, who has actually studied Adolf Hitler and his rise to power, explained his theory that his mustache was a powerful magical totem. Trump had no idea what a totem was but he got the general idea.
“A magic mustache, a magic mustache” Trump mused, “it makes sense to me.”
Miller explained that Hitler changed his mustache during World War I so gas masks would function properly. Reference.
Once Hitler refashioned his mustache his rise to power, Miller explained, was inevitable. Trump interjected “but he lost the war.” Never at a loss for words Miller replied “that’s because even a magic mustache couldn’t make him as smart as you.”
Miller, who believes some strange shit, explained that a very few people are endowed with magic mustaches. He told Trump that Einstein once revealed that late one night his not yet famous mustache spoke to him and uttered the equation even Trump heard of, although he had no idea what it meant.
Miller, obviously no fan of Mexicans, told Trump Emiliano Zapata (below),
forged a revolution because of his magic mustache. He said that without the mustache what is now Mexico would today be a part of Texas. “The Mexican leader forged a revolution perhaps in no small part due to this dramatic, commanding mustache. Zapata inspired both awe and loyalty.” Reference This was totally lost on Trump because he thought Zapata was
Frank Zappa who sported a modified mustache.
Mr. Pillow’s mustache joined other famous mustaches in the world of politics.
Bragging rights if you know who is in the lower left.
President Taft had the most impressive mustache.
More presidents with facial hair.
Trump asked Miller if he thought he should grow a magic mustache and Miller said that not only did he think it would assure that he’d be president again but that if he grew one they could do it together. Trump, in a rare display of insight, told him he better not grow a Hitler mustache and Miller told him that he thought of it but decided to go with a Burt Reynold’s one instead. According to reports (here) “Reynolds has actually credited his 'stache for getting him better movies roles and giving him better luck with women. Obviously.”
Once Trump’s mustache grows out he will vie with Adolf Hitler for having the must famous mustache in political history.
The Poll:
At various times I’ve had a mustache, for example below as an anti-war activist in graduate school and 10 years later as a reserve police officer.
