Pillow Man Mike Lindell may be out of his wee, one-track mind, but one thing you can say about him is he’s determined. It’s as if he took all the energy he used to put into scouring his carpet for crack rocks and dedicated it to something far less wholesome and productive—returning Donald Trump to the White House for four more years of his critically panned though highly rated reality show The Human Centipede On Ice.
Lindell, a veritable cyclone of guileless zeal and inadequately masticated bratwurst detritus, is now guaranteeing that his upcoming cyber symposium will convince the Supreme Court to vote 9-0 to “pull down” the 2020 election and immediately reinstate Trump. The new red letter day is Aug. 13, the day after his symposium wows the wide world into acquiescence, forcing Joe Biden to pack up his hacky sacks, Che Guevara T-shirts, and horde of Chinese Communist body doubles and scurry back to the catacombs under Comet Ping Pong.
But now an unlikely figure is throwing cold water on Lindell’s febrile fantasies. None other than Jewish Space Laser Queen Marjorie Taylor Greene, who’s never seen a public health official who couldn’t somehow be compared to Hitler, is saying Lindell is way off base.
Newsweek:
"I would hate for anyone to get their hopes up thinking that President Trump is going to be back in the White House in August because that's not true and I'm telling you that as a member of Congress, that's a very difficult thing to do," Greene told Steve Bannon on his podcast on Wednesday.
Greene added that people need to be "careful in what they believe," but didn't mention anyone by name as to who she thought was peddling faulty information.
Lindell has become a leading voice for the belief that Trump will be back in office by August and has set Aug. 13 as the date that his reinstatement will be the "talk of the world." On Sunday, he told WVW Broadcast Network's Brannon Howse that the results would be overturned not only for Trump but "down-ticket senators."
To be frank, this is a little surprising. I’d have thought MTG would be all aboard the Treason Train—and willing to follow it over all the same cuckoo cliffs as Lindell. Maybe the difference is that Greene regularly talks to other members of Congress, whereas Lindell is likely getting his information from other crack-addled H.R. Pufnstuf characters. Or from Jesus, who, by wild coincidence, speaks both English and Aramaic with a thick, dopey Minnesota accent.
Lindell is in for a rude awakening on Aug. 13, but that doesn’t mean the rest of us can’t be entertained. The only question remaining for Mike is whether he pisses all his money away by himself, alienates enough customers to slowly go insolvent, or gets sued into rubble and pornstache clippings by Dominion Voting Systems.
Either way, I’m here for it. Someone fire up the Jiffy Pop. This will be one for the books.
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