So it appears that MyPillow guy Mike Lindell may be learning the hard way that a poor man’s Wilford Brimley mustache isn’t very good at filtering out coronaviruses—even if you routinely coat it with pork sausage grease before leaving your conspiracy cubby. Apparently, the world’s most infamous election-fraud fraudster is under the weather, and his symptoms sound suspiciously like those of COVID-19.
Minutes ago, I checked out the Frankspeech.com Lindell Report archive and discovered that Lindell’s regular co-host, Brannon Howse, had kicked off Monday evening’s show with this announcement:
HOWSE: “Hello, Brannon Howse in for Mike Lindell. I just talked to Mike. He has horrible laryngitis. His voice sounds like—I’ve never heard him like that. I’ve heard him with a rough voice after speaking at the [Cyber] Symposium and Frank rally and Frank-a-thon and Thanks-a-thon and all that, but man, I’ve never heard it this bad. So, he is going to take tonight and get his voice back. So you guys can all pray for Mike and his speedy recovery. This crud is going all over the country and a lot of people certainly have it, so pray for Mike and his voice to be restored, and he can be back with us. He’s still traveling, he’s still conducting business. I won’t tell you what state he’s in, but he’s traveling and still conducting business but is in no shape vocally to be hosting a show right now.”
Now, a normal person whose throat was so afflicted might think, “Hmm, lots of people have the COVID-19 omicron variant right now. Maybe I should err on the side of caution and isolate.” But Lindell is “still conducting business.” Because of course he is.
That may be because Mike thinks he’s 100% protected from COVID-19, as he suggested to CNN’s Anderson Cooper in an astonishing August 2020 interview in which he hawked an unproven COVID cure called oleandrin.
The interview is long, so you may not want to watch the whole thing—but be sure to bookmark it in case you ever run out of peyote. In the interview, during which he repeatedly refers to Cooper as “Mr. Anderson,” Lindell says a “guy” called him on Easter Sunday with the “answer” to the virus (i.e., oleandrin), and Lindell has since taken it himself and given it to friends and family “to save their lives.” Cooper pushes back repeatedly during the interview, noting that there are no controlled, peer-reviewed studies to back up Pillow Man’s claims. Lindell disagrees, and on and on it goes. (Spoiler: Cooper was right.)
Lindell is also likely unvaccinated, judging from past critical comments he’s made about “[election] machines and vaccines” and the fact that he publishes ableist and reprehensible nonsense like this on his Frank Speech website:
We are now witnessing the early signs of the dreaded vaccine zombie apocalypse: Raging “mask Karens,” personality changes, violent behavior, and animalistic lower brain stem lunacy
This story is about the reality of vaccine zombies, but to get there, we first have to cover the underlying idiocy that compelled people to sign up for the very COVID shots that are now eating their brains. To understand all this, we must first take a look at what kind of person is gullible enough to take the vaccine shots and keep taking them even after evidence of harm is obvious. There are smart people who took the first two jabs and then realized how dangerous it was. They stopped. But the oblivious ones kept begging for more…
The world is full of morons who are, in a very real way, cognitively retarded. Part of that retardation deprives these individuals of the ability to understand basic concepts in math, probability or risk assessment. This is why they are so easily cajoled into thinking “climate change” is going to kill everybody, or that covid vaccine risk is zero.
So, yeah, unless Lindell is counting himself among those “smart people who took the first two jabs,” he is almost certainly unvaccinated, and if he is, his prospects are considerably more dire than those of his fully vaxxed brethren—assuming he actually has COVID-19, that is.
So the question now is, will Lindell’s ignorance of science kill him before his ignorance of our election system kills our democracy? To be fair, odds are good that both will live—no thanks to Lindell himself. But, frankly, I wouldn’t bet the farm on either one right now.
So here’s to a quick recovery, Mike. Go home, get well, and let’s hope you just have a minor cold or something. Also, wise the fuck up—assuming it’s not already too late, that is.
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