Wisconsin Sen. Ron Johnson, who’s so quintessentially Wisconsin he’s like something Ed Gein made out of remaindered whitetail scrotes and Guernsey brains, is vying for the third Senate term he solemnly promised his constituents he would never seek, and at this point, the race could go either way.
So far, Johnson is doing what Republicans always do when they give their constituents no credible reason to vote for them—he’s blasting out racist dog whistles in order to tarnish the reputation of his opponent, Lt. Gov. Mandela Barnes, who happens to be a Black man.
RELATED: Ron Johnson draws gasps and guffaws from debate crowd, but we can give his opponent the last laugh
But Johnson, who would like you to believe that one dull day he was lookin’ at his shoes and up from the ground come a bumblin’ coup, wants Wisconsin voters to see frightful phantasms this October instead of the real horrors he and his ilk have visited upon this country.
For instance, there was that whole “Donald Trump literally tried to end America” unpleasantness that Sen. Johnson—only briefly!—participated in on Jan. 6, 2021. That said, it was a profound enough moment in our history that plenty of patriotic Americans remember it.
The way the media are behaving these days, you’d think the majority of Republicans didn’t idolize an unrepentant insurrectionist who stores highly sensitive government secrets in his basement next to his assorted sarcophagi of snackin’ lard. Or that the country’s cabal of bodily autonomy snatchers weren’t being rebuked at every turn for their—suddenly successful—50-year crusade to bring women to heel.
But this bluntly refreshing new ad from VoteVets, a progressive veterans organization, shows exactly how egregious a vote for Ron Johnson is in the Year of Our Lord 2022. And it doesn’t even mention his COVID-19 advocacy (that is, his indefatigable work on behalf of the virus itself) or his decision to ditch Uncle Sam on his birthday a few short years ago in order to prop up Uncle Vlad.
GARY HAWLEY: “I Gary Hawley ...”
MICHAEL O’MEARA: “I Michael O’Meara ...”
BOTH: “… do solemnly swear ...”
O’MEARA: “… that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States ...”
HAWLEY: “… against all enemies, foreign and domestic.”
O’MEARA: “I swore that oath 51 years ago ...”
HAWLEY: “… and I live by those values today.”
O’MEARA: “So did the police officers who defended our Capitol and our Constitution on Jan. 6.”
CAPITOL OFFICER (VOICEOVER): “We’ve lost the line! We’ve lost the line!”
O’MEARA: “A hundred and fifty were beaten by violent insurrectionists.”
HAWLEY: “Five died.”
CAPITOL OFFICER (VOICEOVER): “Multiple Capitol injuries! Multiple Capitol injuries!”
O’MEARA: “And Ron Johnson defended them.”
HAWLEY: “Those who attacked our democracy ...”
O’MEARA: “Those who attacked our Constitution ...”
HAWLEY: “Those who attacked our police.”
O’MEARA: “I could never vote for a traitor.”
HAWLEY: “I will not vote for Ron Johnson.”
RON JOHNSON (VOICEOVER): “I had, like, virtually no involvement. Literally, my involvement lasted seconds.”
Nice try, RoJo, but you can’t just trot out the standard excuse Republicans use whenever they’re caught sleeping with sex workers. It doesn’t work when we’re talking about our sacred Constitution. Seconds of willful treachery is still treachery.
Of course, as the ad notes, Johnson has sought to downplay the Jan. 6 riots numerous times, dismissing the deadly insurrection as boys-will-be-boys hijinks.
RELATED: Ron Johnson keeps saying things, which is really bad for his campaign
In fact, Johnson didn’t see a depressing gray pall falling over our country that day. No, his perspective was far more, well, black and white.
From the March 14, 2021, edition of The Washington Post:
“I knew those are people that love this country, that truly respect law enforcement, would never do anything to break the law, so I wasn’t concerned,” Johnson told “The Joe Pags Show,” according to a clip of the interview posted Friday by American Bridge 21st Century, a Democratic group, which blasted Johnson for his “blatant racism.”
In the interview clip, Johnson went on to add that he would have been frightened had Black Lives Matter or antifa protesters overrun the Capitol instead.
“Now, had the tables been turned — now, Joe, this will get me in trouble — had the tables been turned and President Trump won the election and those were tens of thousands of Black Lives Matter and antifa protesters, I might have been a little concerned,” Johnson said.
Yeah, but that never would have happened. For one thing, Black Lives Matter isn’t a violent group, and for another, Joe Biden would have never claimed he'd won an election if he’d badly lost. Because he’s not a fucking sociopath.
Meanwhile, in a sign that Republicans are going to claim fraud in every U.S. election from now until the heat death of the universe, NBC News is reporting that Johnson recently paid a fee to a law firm that’s headed by a key member of the dangerous “Start the Steal” movement.
On July 26, Johnson’s campaign paid $13,287 to Troupis Law for “legal consulting.” On Aug. 18, it paid $7,000 for what is listed on his financial records as “Recount: Legal Consulting.” Financial records suggest the only other financial interactions between Troupis and Johnson came in 2010, when Troupis donated $1,000 to Johnson’s campaign fund.
While campaigns sometimes prepare for different Election Day voting scenarios, Johnson’s payment for legal consulting on a possible recount to an outside law firm could be a sign that he expects the kind of dead-heat contest the battleground state is known for. Johnson has not said whether he would accept the results of the Nov. 8 election.
Hmm, maybe Johnson went to Troupis because the latter has relevant experience in ratfucking elections.
Troupis was among the attorneys and Trump representatives named this year in government subpoenas the FBI served to some of the fake electors in June, according to a source with direct knowledge of the investigation. The Washington Post also reported, citing documents that were released as a part of a public records request, that two Arizona state legislators had received subpoenas for any communications they might have had with various Trump attorneys and representatives, including Troupis, “relating to any effort, plan, or attempt to serve as an Elector.”
So there you have it. If you want a guy who goes out of his way to kill his own constituents and the world’s O.G. liberal democracy, Ron Johnson is your guy. If that doesn’t interest you, you’ve got an outstanding alternative in Wisconsin Lt. Gov. Mandela Barnes.
We can make sure Ron Johnson keeps his promise to only serve two terms! But to do so, Barnes needs your help now more than ever.
Check out Aldous J. Pennyfarthing’s four-volume Trump-trashing compendium, including the finale, Goodbye, Asshat: 101 Farewell Letters to Donald Trump, at this link. Or, if you prefer a test drive, you can download the epilogue to Goodbye, Asshat for the low, low price of FREE.