Remember when Republicans were all about tort reform because they thought plaintiffs were mucking up the judicial system with supposedly frivolous “nuisance” lawsuits? Sigh. I miss the days when Republicans put forth a consistent, coherent platform of insensate evil instead of this higgledy-piggledy paella of Trump brain pan effluent. I mean, at least you knew where they stood.
With everything from his real estate business to his Planck-length fungal schwanz under a microscope these days, you’d think Donald Trump would be focused on the numerous wolves baying at his doorstep. Instead, he’s fixing to sue the Pulitzer organization for giving out Pulitzer Prizes to someone other than Sean Hannity. And, naturally, the hammer is coming down in two weeks, so at least Pulitzer officials will have Trump’s tremendous, much-better-than-Obamacare health care plan to fall back on as they recover from the latest Trumpian coup de grâce.
At last night’s Loser-Palooza rally in Texas, Trump claimed that the Pulitzer people were in mega-MAGA trouble, and they better watch out, because a killer lawsuit is coming in just a fortnight!
Watch:
TRUMP: “They gave out the Pulitzer Prize for reporting on the Russia hoax, okay, reporting on Russia, Russia, Russia. So you have reporters from The Washington Post, The New York Times that got Pulitzer Prizes and they reported the exact wrong thing. So within the next two weeks we’re suing the Pulitzer organization to have those prizes taken back. We’ll be doing that over the next two weeks. I think it’s a very good lawsuit, but we’ll see. But, ah, we’re suing. Think of it, they got the Pulitzer Prize for wrong reporting. But other people should have gotten the Pulitzer Prize, because frankly they got it right for years. And they don’t do Pulitzer Prizes for guys like Sean Hannity, but they should, by a different name. And Tucker Carlson, and Jeanine Pirro, and Laura [Ingraham]. And so many different people, but they don’t get it. They give Pulitzer Prizes to the people that got it wrong. Remember this. By allowing these people that got Russia, Russia, Russia wrong, they’re actually libeling me because they’re say they got it right, and it turned out to be a hoax, and everybody now has admitted it was a hoax. Even the Times and even The Washington Post, they said it’s a hoax. So if it’s a hoax, then let them give the Pulitzer Prizes back or take them back. They shouldn’t be allowed to keep them.”
I have thoughts.
1) The Russia, Russia, Russia thing was only a hoax if you think a candidate’s campaign manager giving internal polling data to a Russian with ties to the Kremlin somehow isn’t collusion. Or that at least 10 clear instances of obstruction of justice spelled out in the summary of a 22-month-long investigation somehow fail to amount to … erm ... obstruction.
2) Shouldn’t Trump’s lawyers be focusing on keeping him out of prison? This feels a bit like going in for a chin tuck and eyelid lift after your pet chimp has already mauled your face off.
3) Not sure if Trump meant that Sean Hannity should get a Pulitzer under a different name or if the name of the Pulitzer Prize should be changed just for him. If the former, I nominate “Edward R. Fucknuts.”
Of course, as HuffPost notes, Trump has been promising for months now that a Pulitzer-pulverizing lawsuit was right around the corner.
“No passages or headlines, contentions or assertions in any of the winning submissions were discredited by facts that emerged subsequent to the conferral of the prizes,” the board said in a statement. “The 2018 Pulitzer Prizes in National Reporting stand.”
They weren’t discredited by any facts? Well, they’re going to need to do better than that, because Trump isn’t the least bit interested in facts. You’d think pretty much every media organization in the world would know that by now.
Check out Aldous J. Pennyfarthing’s four-volume Trump-trashing compendium, including the finale, Goodbye, Asshat: 101 Farewell Letters to Donald Trump, at this link. Or, if you prefer a test drive, you can download the epilogue to Goodbye, Asshat for the low, low price of FREE.