Thursday Morning Vonnegut Blogging
Last Friday was author, lecturer, and humanist Kurt Vonnegut’s 100th birthday. Wrote Dinitia Smith in her New York Times obituary:
Like Mark Twain, Mr. Vonnegut used humor to tackle the basic questions of human existence: Why are we in this world? Is there a presiding figure to make sense of all this, a god who in the end, despite making people suffer, wishes them well? […]
Not all Mr. Vonnegut’s themes were metaphysical. With a blend of vernacular writing, science fiction, jokes and philosophy, he also wrote about the banalities of consumer culture, for example, or the destruction of the environment.
In his memory, some bits of rhetorical Vonnegoodness (of which he left us a bountiful harvest) below the fold:
Vonnegut (Cont’d)
✌ Hello, babies. Welcome to Earth. It’s hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It’s round and wet and crowded. At the outside, babies, you’ve got about a hundred years here. There’s only one rule that I know of, babies—‘God damn it, you’ve got to be kind.’
✌ When things go well for days on end, it is a hilarious accident.
✌ “If you keep up with current events in the supermarket tabloids, you know that a team of Martian anthropologists has been studying our culture for the past ten years, since our culture is the only one worth a nickel on the whole damn planet. You can forget Brazil and Argentina. Anyway: They went back home last week, because they knew how terrible global warming was about to be. Their space vehicle wasn’t a flying saucer. It was more like a flying soup tureen. And they’re little all right, only six inches high. But they aren’t green. They’re mauve.”
✌ "I love science. All Humanists do. I’m particularly fond of the Big Bang Theory. It goes like this: There was once all this nothing, and it was so much nothing that there wasn’t even such a thing as nothing. And then all of a sudden there was this great big BANG, and that’s where all this crap came from. Forget the Bible. Any questions? You know what they should put over the entrance to the Physics Department? Just that one word: BANG!”
✌ Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand.
✌ “A show of hands, please: How many of you have had a teacher at any stage of your education, from the first grade until this day in May, who made you happier to be alive, prouder to be alive, than you had previously believed possible? Good! Now say the name of that teacher to someone sitting or standing near you. All done? If this isn’t nice, what is?”
✌ “Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward.”
✌ "There is no reason why good cannot triumph as often as evil. The triumph of anything is a matter of organization. If there are such things as angels, I hope that they are organized along the lines of the Mafia."
And, of course, my personal adopted motto:
✌ I tell you, we are here on Earth to fart around, and don't let anybody tell you different.
Happy Birthday, Kurt. And now, our feature presentation...
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Cheers and Jeers for Thursday, November 17, 2022
Note: For those of you cooking Thanksgiving turkeys weighing over 250 pounds, today's the day to pop 'em in the oven. And also the day to realize you're going to need a bigger oven.
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til Festivus: 36
Days 'til the 2022 Holiday Train Show at the New York Botanical Gardens: 2
Date on which the 8 billionth current inhabitant of Planet Earth was born: 11/15/22
Years it took for the world's population to grow from 7 to 8 billion (versus the 15 it'll take to hit 9 billion): 12
Percent chance that the Murdoch media empire, including Fox News, will support a Trump candidacy in 2024, according to what Murdoch says he told Trump in person: 0%
Amount Herschel Walker's campaign gets for every $10 donated via the latest fundraising effort by the National Republican Senatorial Committee: 10 cents
Percent in a YouGov poll who believe it’s acceptable to start listening to holiday music before Thanksgiving: 18%
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Your Thursday Molly Ivins Moment:
The sheer pleasure of getting lessons in etiquette from Karl Rove and the right-wing media passeth all understanding.
Ever since 1994, the Republican Party has gone after Democrats with the frenzy of a foaming mad dog. There was the impeachment of Bill Clinton, not to mention the trashing of both Clinton and his wife—accused of everything from selling drugs to murder—all orchestrated by that paragon of manners, Tom DeLay. [...]
These people are not only dishonest—they're not even smart. Not that I recommend nailing them at every turn, but I wouldn't be surprised if they try to do it to Democrats. If what Republicans have been practicing is bipartisanship, West Texas just flooded.
—November, 2006, following historic Dem wins in the House and Senate
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Just another salty dog workin' the lobster traps…
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CHEERS to the forgotten senator-elect. If you believed the pundits and predictors before November 8th, the Senate race in Vermont was going to be one of the very few bright spots in an otherwise nightmarish hellscape for the pathetic Demonrat Party. But as it turns out, things went so well for the mighty Democratic Party juggernaut at every level of government across the country that Vermont got lost in the hubbub. So belated C&J congratulations are in order for Patrick Leahy's successor, who won in a landslide so huge (68% - 28%) that other landslides are going, "Now THAT'S a landslide"…
Vermont’s Democratic U.S. Rep. Peter Welch is set to become U.S. Sen. Peter Welch. After nearly 16 years as Vermont’s lone member of the U.S. House, Welch will move to the upper chamber come January…
Welch’s victory speech was celebratory, but had a grim undercurrent: He harkened back to the riot at the U.S. Capitol on Jan. 6, 2021, during which supporters of former President Donald Trump attempted to interrupt the certification of President Joe Biden’s election, and said his Senate victory “is in the shadow of what happened on January 6. I was there when the Capitol was attacked and the shot was fired and the doors were broken down and everyone was dismayed,” he said. “This election, unlike any other elections, has democracy right front and center on the ballot.” […]
Throughout his campaign, Welch has said he is willing to change the Senate’s filibuster rules in order to accomplish major Democratic priorities, such as passing a law to protect to abortion access nationwide in response to the U.S. Supreme Court’s overturning of Roe v. Wade and Planned Parenthood v. Casey.
Welch, an elder statesman at 75, joins Pennsylvania whippersnapper John Fetterman (53) as the Big-D Newbie Class of '22. Two bits of advice from the experienced senators: 1) keep your wallet in your front pants pocket so your "esteemed Republican colleagues" won’t steal it, and 2) towel-snapping Ted Cruz anytime, anywhere is not only acceptable but your patriotic duty.
CHEERS to palace intrigue. The fight is on for which fascism-loving white male gets to be in charge of the party that, against all odds, lost control of the Senate last week. Whoever wins will be in charge of whining, complaining, and taking really long lunches. Here's the current state of their epic battle:
Sen. Rick Scott (R-Fla.) on Tuesday announced a challenge to Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) for GOP leader after their party’s disastrous performance in the midterm elections and its failure to retake the Senate.
McConnell’s position as leader isn’t seriously in doubt. On Tuesday, he struck a defiant tone and and said he has the votes to become leader again—whether the GOP leadership election takes place this week or not.
Despite McConnell's defiant tone, don’t count Scott out. I've seen pythons eat alligators, so a turtle is like an appetizer.
Update: Never mind. Turns out McConnell is one o’ them poisonous snapping turtles. Who knew?
JEERS to the hunchback of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. Speaking of Republican shits, forty-nine years ago today, in 1973, floundering President Richard Nixon uttered his immortal words: "People have got to know whether or not their president is a crook. Well, I'm not a crook."
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And to prove he wasn't a crook, Gerald Ford shielded him with a "full and unconditional pardon" after Nixon resigned rather than face impeachment for crooky things like high crimes and misdemeanors. Trust me: the less you think about it, the more it makes sense.
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BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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END BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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CHEERS to a fine use of nib and ink. Seven score and nineteen years ago, on November 17, 1863, our forefather President Lincoln brought forth on this continent a first draft of his Gettysburg Address, conceived in wanting to make a broad statement about the strength of our democracy in dark times, and dedicated to the proposition that future generations of Americans will have no clue what a score is. Tomorrow: the thrilling conclusion.
CHEERS to cleansing your cosmic soul. Cast your eyes heavenward this week and you might see some wowee-zowee fireworks in the sky. The Leonid Brezhnev meteor shower—which happens every time Earth plays footsies with Comet Tempel-Tuttle and its debris field—is entering its most Leonidinicious period tonight and tomorrow night:
The Leonids are a modest shower producing up to approximately 15 meteors per hour.
The Leonids are considered some of the fastest meteors, zipping through the sky at 44 miles per second, according to NASA. They can also result in impressive fireballs producing long, bright and colorful meteor streaks.
You don't need any telescopes or binoculars as the secret to a good meteor viewing experience is to take in as much sky as possible. Make sure to allow about 30 minutes for your eyes to adjust to the dark.
As I like to say, everyone loves meteor showers because they’re beautiful, unite Americans in a common activity, and make lots of people happy and curious about the universe and the wonders of science. Which explains why House Republicans plan to introduce a constitutional amendment banning all future meteor showers.
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Ten years ago in C&J: November 17, 2012
CHEERS to fitting in. Senator-elect Angus King, who is replacing Olympia Snowe, has decided who he's going to caucus with. I'll give you a hint: it ain't the Republicans. And this is interesting:
Before settling on the Democratic caucus, King said he spoke with more than a dozen senators from both parties. Those conversations included one with Sen. Roy Blunt, R-Mo., vice chairman of the Senate Republican Conference. Blunt and King met for about 45 minutes to discuss the possibility of King joining the Senate Republican caucus, Canney said. “It was a good conversation.”
Yeah, other than being horrified by the GOP's stance on women's rights, education, clean energy, foreign policy, LGBT rights, science, health care, immigration, climate change, and gun control, it was…y'know…it was good.
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And just one more...
CHEERS to that people-powered dude. Since I know you appreciate being made to feel old, here's a fun fact: when Howard Dean's 2004 presidential campaign—the catalyst for bringing so many of us here to Daily Kos—was shifting into high gear, he was but a lad of 56. Today he finds 74 candles on his birthday cake.
The former Vermont governor (first in the nation to sign same-sex civil unions into law—a quaint milestone, but groundbreaking at the time) became the loudest 2004 candidate to rail against the warmongering Bush II regime at a time when too many Democratic leaders were still searching for their spines. (His 2003 speech in Sacramento remains one of the most influential barn burners in modern political history.)
Of course, we all know Governor Dean met his Waterloo after he uttered "Yeah" in Iowa at a higher volume than is allowed in polite political society. He then went on to become the chairman of the DNC, unleashing a radical strategy that would give the Democratic party a robust presence in all 50 states, and remains forever a proud card-carrying Kossack. So when you're pouring your first drinky this morning (may we recommend a cocktail made with pure Vermont maple syrup?), hoist it and send a happy birthday toast to ol’ Doc Dean. And you should also get together and bake him a cake. After all, YOU have the flour and YOU have the flour and YOU have the flour...!!!
Have a nice Thursday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial
The kiddie pool where Bill in Portland Maine created Cheers and Jeers is a historical site, and now the flippers he wore while splashing amid the algae have been sold for nearly $220,000, according to an auction house.
—USA Today
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