Advertisement
#donaldtrump
#joebiden
#election2024
#community
#michaelcohen
#media
#cartoon
#law
#elections
#republicans
#israel
#openthread
#politics
#gop
#democracy
#stormydaniels
#gaza
#democrats
#russia
#georgia
#election
#ukraine
#trumptrial
#dailykoselections
#climatechange
#climate
#2024
#science
#immigration
#culture
Help Desk
Make a Donation
Write a story
Manage Front Page Queue
New Blog Entry
Drafts
Profile
Image Library
My Groups
My Stories
My Activity Stream
My Comments
Subscribe to Hide Ads
Show Ads
Hide Ads
Help Desk
Make A Donation
Sign Out
Log In
Sign Up
Create a free account
Log in
All Recent Stories
Staff
Community
Trending
Elections
From Markos' Desk
Comics
Community Groups
Community Spotlight
Actions
Civiqs
Make a Donation
Quick Links
Help Desk
Jobs
Work With Us
Advertising Overview
© Kos Media, LLC. Site content may be used for any purpose without explicit permission unless otherwise specified. "Kos" and "Daily Kos" are registered trademarks of Kos Media, LLC.
Privacy Policy
|
Terms of Use
|
DMCA Copyright Notice
#donaldtrump
#joebiden
#election2024
#community
#michaelcohen
#media
#cartoon
#law
#elections
#republicans
#israel
#openthread
#politics
#gop
#democracy
#stormydaniels
#gaza
#democrats
#russia
#georgia
#election
#ukraine
#trumptrial
#dailykoselections
#climatechange
#climate
#2024
#science
#immigration
#culture
My Mother's Life Day today
by
jtg
Community
(This content is not subject to review by Daily Kos staff prior to publication.)
Thursday, Dec. 29, 2022
Thursday, Dec. 29, 2022
at
10:24:54am PST
Mom’s Life Day
Today, December 28, 2022, marks the date and day that I am alive for the same amount of time as my late Mother, and from this day forth, I shall outlive her.
x
x
YouTube Video
This is my 23,129th day of my life. On this day, today, December 28, 2022, I am alive as long as My Mother lived, and from this day forth, I shall outlive her.
The next date and day when I will be the same age as one of my late parents will be on Monday, September 9, 2047,
when I will be the same age My Father was aged on the last day of his physical life.
Dad lived 32,149 days.
Upon My Father’s Life Day, #FatherLifeDay, it will also be my 32,149th day of life, if I survive that long. From that date onward, I shall outlive My Father, and I will make a similar document to this one on that date and day, if I am able.
Look for it.
I researched and marked this day of my late Mother’s Life Day in my calendar years ago. I have done likewise for My Father’s Life Day and other of my ancestors.
I will mark this milestone day in several ways. I will talk about My Mother and her life. Some of you may remember when My Father died in 2015 and I spent a long time slowly getting over him. There were even some who told me to just get over it as if getting-over-it were as simple as switching off a setting in my brain’s neural emotional processor.
I never had the chance to really grieve Mom’s passing. I was diagnosed with cancer a few weeks after her death and so my grief process was stillborn when I suddenly had to face my major disfiguring surgery as well as the very real possibility I would die soon.
I did survive the cancer, or else you would not be reading this document now.
It’s amazing to me how many people in my life insist that because I survived the cancer and subsequent treatments of surgery and chemotherapy and the fact that the tumors did not remanifest, showed that I was never in any real risk of dying. Some have asserted my claims of potential death during and after those traumatic times were lies I invented and were designed to “get attention” for some vaguely sinister unspecified motivations.
This is still a factor in some interactions with some of my family and social life to this day, whether I’m talking about events like my cancer crisis twenty-eight years ago or my current medical issues.
There is so much I can say about My Mother. I have about one hundred hours of audio recordings of her and I in her last months as she told me stories of her life. I need to digitize and transcribe those tapes and use them as primary source material to write her biography. I asked Mom on tape what she wanted her biography to be entitled and she replied “The Little Train that Could.”
In this document, I will now give a brief and hugely abrided biography of My Mother. Then, I will talk about my self, my life, my status, my future plans and contingencies, life goals, and afterlife legacy goals.
Mom’s life.
My Mother was born on November 14, 1930, and then was given the wrong legal name by some unknown clerk.
My Mother was supposed to have been named “Jo Anne”, spelled “J-o--A-n-n-e”. Unfortunately, the legal name that came out printed on My Mother’s birth certificate was the name “Joan”, spelled “J-o-a-n”, not “Jo Anne”. Nobody in the family thought it was important enough to get the correct spelling and thus pronunciation of the intended name or the system was such that correcting such an error would require lots of legal fees. Perhaps they just didn’t feel there was any point in questioning or challenging any authority. This unwillingness to challenge authority is a theme in my family, both my Mother’s Side and my Father’s Side. As a result, Mom was “Joan”, not “Jo Anne”.
My Mother was taken away by from her Mother by her violently physically abusive Father leaving her beaten Mother on the side of an Oregon road when she was about 9 years old.
My Mother and her two younger brothers were together with their Dad, my maternal Grandfather, even if he was often a physically abusive monster.
My Mother had a plan to get away. When her Mother came back for a visit, she told her two younger brothers that she wanted to go off with Mama. They did as she thought they would do and went to Daddy and told him that “Joan wants to go away with Mama”. Dada came into her room. He stood over her and he was silent but it was obvious he was angry. My Mother was afraid he would hit her, but instead he said, “get your things and get out of my house”.
My Mother quickly packed at the age of about ten left with her Mother, who had not planned to be leaving with a ten year old daughter. As a result, My Mother got away from a traumatic life with her Father into another traumatic life, this time with her Mother.
My Mother’s traumatic life with her Mother was a different kind of trauma than the kind of trauma she had with her Father. More on that in another document.
Then My Mother met and married My Father with his own background of traumas which blended into yet another kind of traumatic life.
My Mother and My Father both had a lot of trauma in their lives, and they generously and probably unknowingly passed their trauma effects onto me. 😥
⌛️ A lot happened in between the events above and the events below. ⌛️
My Mother died of lung cancer at home on March 11, 1994, while I was asleep. I had been up most of the night as I had been awake through the nights because Mom became nocturnal and so I stayed up with her to help her through the scary nights as most others were asleep. I fell asleep about dawn and a few hours later my brother woke me saying something was happening to Mom. She had died.
☹️ 😢 😥 😭
More on Mom’s last days in another document.
Wubba lubba dub dub. That’s not my catchphrase unless it is. If I had a catchphrase, it would be “potato” 🥔. Or “it’s raining tacos” 🌮🌮🌮. Or something inspirational and sciency. 🔬🔭🧬. Yes sciency is a word.
But I digress.
Digress:
Di·gress /dīˈɡres/
verb:
To leave the main subject temporarily in speech or writing.
"
I have
digressed
a little
from
my original topic
"
This is a time to consider my self, One, at this point in my personal timeline. 🤔 It seems apparent that I am now probably closer to the end of my life than to the beginning of my life timeline. Aka, my #LifeTimeLine.
That’s just a fact of being a eukaryote vertebrate mammal hominid sapien dwelling in the current mixture of multi cultural societies of the planet Earth.
Today, I am 23,129 days old, and every day that passes adds another day to that count.
I can not just pretend my biological machinery that keeps me existing and (hopefully) communicating with my fellow cohort of living sentient beings in the present here and now will continue to function semi-flawlessly. My body can and has failed me before and someday my body will fail me again, and that will be the end of my physical existence, and the beginning of my afterlife legacy, if any.
Maybe I will outlive my
32,149 day old Father, or maybe I won’t. It would be a hugely significant day, to me, if I match or exceed Dad’s lifespan of 88 years and one week. Even if I only get to my 80s, I’ll be pleased, even if I’d rather go on to having a productive 100th birthday. Possible? Maybe. Plausible? Not given my current life circumstances, but if there are the right changes, any of these goals are possible.
I have survived many traumatic experiences, physical, mental, more, that would have caused others not to survive even this long,
23,129 days. Some examples of this:
My Mother died of lung cancer brought on by smoking. I do not smoke, although as a child I got a lot of second hand smoke and that may be one major factor in how I at one point was close to 600 pounds and while I’m about 60% of that weight now I am still heavy and need to lose about another 150 pounds, or more.
Another example is my late friend
Oscar Guadalupe Garcia-Rodriguez
, who was during my teans and early twenties my best friend, fellow Eagle Scout, role model, idol of mine, and if he had not died so suddenly in his early thirties, unpexpectedly, and unnecessarily. Has Oscar received better medical care, he might now be Mayor, or Senator, or more. I still miss Oscar. Oscar’s life and death is a whole big story in itself that I should tell in honor of Oscar’s life and legacy, brief as it was. I am sure I have a photos of Oscar somewhere, but it’s likely in a box in storage. More on Oscar in another document
I have a vague memory of a kid from high school who was always playing a clown. I didn’t think of him as a serious person when I was in High School, but I liked him as a distant friend. Then I discovered he was killed in a car crash a few years after high school graduation. He one of the first deaths of someone I knew personally. If he had not been in that crash, what would he be like now? Would he be a social media connetion now, or just a rando out in the cybervoid?
Many other peers of mine in my life are no longer with me.
My physical being, health, weight, diet, et cetera have to take a big priority. It does no good to make plans to celebrate my #FatherLifeDay in 2047 if I’m not alive to carry out those plans, or to see the consequences of my plans and actions.
After all, if I plant a redwood tree, I probably won’t be alive to see it pass 150 feet high, but that does not make the effort and action of planting that tree was worthless on my part because others, including the tree itself, will be around to enjoy its growth into an adult tree. Sort of like when I successfully teach a youngling how to add two numbers together for the first time.
I have to have a plan to survive long enough to experience My Father’s Life day, and then proceed on to my own one-hundredth year birthday anniversary.
I am still recovering from my fall and serious leg injury in December 2021. It affected my movement for months, and is still a factor in my personal mobility considerations. Then I had COVID-19 in July and I felt like it almost killed me, and left me weak for months.
I have a heart condition that could go bad in a few years. I need to have surgery to fix it, but I have to lose about another 80 pounds before my doctor will even consider surgery on me as my fat deposits form enough of an obsticle that surgery would be very difficult, even if done by keyhole techniques.
I have to have an economic plan whereby I have an income sufficient to keep living indoors in physical health and safety even if something totally disabling happens.
I have a “Multiple Subject teaching Credential with English Language Learner Authorization”.
I am applying for classroom teaching positions. I have some ideas why I’m not getting hired and some of them include the possibility that someone does not think I’m physically fit enough to be a teacher. I have had conversations with some who think that if you can’t run with the kids you aren’t teacher material and should find a new career path.
Yet being a super-substitute teacher is OK.
I am considering another teaching path, Resource Teacher. That will involve a teaching credential I do not have, yet. I have the Multiple Subjects Teaching Credential and thus I can get a special permit to work as a Resource Teacher, and after a year I would either get an extension, get the apropriate credential, switch to another teaching job, change careers, or retire comfortably.
I would work with mild to moderate special children. I want the career pathway of teaching students who can be reached mentally. They can learn but just havn’t had someone with patience work with them. I would also act as a relief teacher. That’s like a Super Substitute Teacher plus +. I would sub on unexpected absences as I have the ability to take over any class, and I can be a medium to long-term sub, perhaps to fall into a classroom position.
Special Education is SUPPOSED to also work with gifted students such as those students who know how to do trigonometry by third grade, understand the astronomy of the solar system, or can code robots. No the classes for those students are not to be.
Currently I have four dogs and four cats. They are a huge part of my life.
Anubis Maukat is about fourteenish years old and is a big white cat
He may be the largest cat I’ve ever had.
Apophis Maukat is about ninish years old and is a small orange cat who is one of the friendliest cats I’ve ever had.
Ma’at is about four and is named for the Egyptian goddess of Justice,
Khonsu the kitten is named for the god of the moon.
The four dogs are siblings from the same litter from their Mother Delight.
Mama Delight is missing, and I miss Delight.
Delight’s puppies are Dorcas Delightsdotter, Zorrita Delightsdotter, Fenris Delightsson, and Brunhilda Delightsdotter. They are about five and a half years old. I have video of puppy number one, Dorcas, being born. I switched to a still camera for number two puppy Zorrita, but no birth video nor images of puppies three and four, Fenris and Brunhilda. I do not know which, Fenris or Brunhilda was third, so I just call them the baby boy and the baby girl puppies.
😺 🐶 😺 🐶 🐶 😺 🐶 😺
More on my doggos and kittykitties at another time in another document. Ask me if you want to know more.
So how should I continue this document? Why am I asking you? You’re not even here as I type this. You can’t help me in the past unless you have time travel abilities to come back to me and give me advise, just like I do not.
I have to, take control.
Ahem, back to now.
I have been a wee bit rambly in this document. You may have noticed. There is a lot in my mind. Time and resources are limited as are my body and mind’s current performance abilities. There are so many factors in my life and I’m mostly alone these days and have been alone for a long time.
The serious fall last December that suddenly hospitized me for weeks and stuck me at home unable to walk for months showed me once again that I am more fragile than I previously believed as a young immortal superchild.
I have had support from others in the past, but similar support may not reappear for such a future need. It is very difficult to gain the resources and savings necessary for a long term survival without working in the modern society.
I was speaking with my ex recently. I am now in semi regular contact again with her after about fifteen years separated. She asked me if I was going to make a list of New Year’s resolutions as she was going to do this year and has done every year. I think instead of resolutions I’ll draft and print out my life plan, with long term/lifetime/legacy goals, mid term goals, and short term day-to-day goals. While life is what happens when you make plans, plans can help guide one’s life. Most of my plans have been held in my head, but an advantage of writing my plans and revising them periodically is that I can keep straight in my head where I’m going. Mentally held plans can be changed or warped or even forgotten in time due to personal crisis changing the focus of your mind and could lead to forgetting while if the goals are written down and reviewed one can keep focused.
That’s a hypothesis anyway.
I need to spend much more of my time creating, i.e. writing, making digital and physical graphics and art, and doing the things that will enhance the lives of those around me, even after I am no longer able to directly do anything.
In fact, creativity is probably the key to my financial future. I have ideas for videos for education, politics, animals, more. I can create documents as I did that sort of thing a lot when I was younger. I am very proficient in using the digital creativity tools like word processing, photoshop, video production, and more. I want to learn to make 3D animation as well and use it for my own works, and perhaps hire out to make logos and other digital items for people. Perhaps I could learn about the NFT thing and see if there is anything real about it. #JTG-NFTs?
Optimally I would get a full time job with an adequate cash income along with benefits, health and dental, to take care of me into the future and my post-physical-work life. An example would be a position as a credentialed teacher which would, for me, be financially adequate for my life for now. Perhaps I could be hired to manage a small company? Maybe people will join my Patreon and/or my Kickstarter to support my various creative and media projects. However it is possible I may be unable to work for more than a few more years. I am not what some might call a “spring chicken”. I am no longer in the beginning times of early-youth, but I’m now more of in the late-youth stage of my life.
I have to reach out to my fiends, and aquaintances, some family, and where I can expand my social outreach. I have been alone for so much of my life, even when I was living with someone else, like Dad.
Dad was very isolating. He rarely allowed me to have guests at the house except for my ex. I used to take him out to events and he got to be known by many during those days. In the last couple of years he rarely wanted to go out. I used to tell him he was the most popular person not at the event due to so many people asking about him. Still, the pattern of not having anyone at my home has stuck and very few people have been visitors to my life since Dad died. I have been isolating myself as well for reasons I will go into in other future documents.
Dad and I spent most of the last fifteen years of his life together from the time he went into and later came out of his long coma in 2000 and 2001. I was there in the various hospitals and nursing homes. I helped with his physical therapy both inside and outside the medical establishments. I took Dad out for walks through the parks and the malls to keep him in shape as long as I could. I have no doubt that Dad would have died in 2000 had I not been there to advocate for him when virtually everyone, family, friends, and even hospital staff were telling me to give up, stop being selfish, answering your questions won’t help your father, and vague threats of simply shutting off life support without my consent. Dad got another fifteen years because I knew enough biology and science and medicine to be able to speak to the doctors. During meetings with Dad’s doctors, I would tell them to talk to me like they were speaking to another doctor. I think at first some doctors thought I was pretentious, as many know-it-alls are, and some seemed to go out of their ways to use the most highly technical terms the could for my father’s condition. I showed I understood by asking intelligent counter questions. This ability to show the doctors that I was not just another “relative-in-denial” is one reason I believe the hospital did not involuntarily terminate Dad.
Now is my time to expand my life because my life time is not unlimited.
Much if this document has been what I call “stubs”, or “mnemonic notes” which will allow me to use this document as the basis for My Mother’s biography, when I write it, as well as my own autobiography, when I write that, and my plans for the rest of my life, assuming I survive long enough to enact any of my remaining plans.
Yes, I know this has been rambly and disjointed and immature and why don’t I “just shut up and do something, this is confusing AF, AAAAAUGUTH!!!”.
I retort to those imaginary trolls, that this writing is doing something. I am gathering my thoughts and laying out the beginnings of the rest of my life on this Mom’s Life Day.
One can evade reality, but One usually cannot evade the consequences of evading reality.
Future Major Life Goal
: Make it to My Father’s Life Day,
Monday, September 9, 2047, day 32,149 of my life.
If you read all that, thank you. We new return you to your regularly scheduled astrology reading.
✴
¡Orion is in the sky!
✴
P.S. Potato. 🥔