Well, that didn't last long.
A few days ago, I had this crazy, oddball idea idea that maybe, just maybe, that "President Scheisskopf" might be convinced that it is in his own personal interest to commit a humanitarian gesture. Hell, I even dangled a Nobel Prize in front of his nose, as bait. And maybe his admirers would respond well to that gesture, if they could see that it was in their own interests to do so. To achieve this goal, Scheisskopf would have to sell the pitch that getting vaccinated is the ultimate selfish thing to do (appeals to altruism and the public good having already been shown to be a waste of time). He'd have to invoke the Second Amendment, quote the Bible, and just in general push their buttons.
Well, to hell with that idea.
In the time it took me to write, polish, and publish that piece, Scheisskopf blew it right out of the water before anyone even had an opportunity to consider my nutty idea. He has now effectively admitted to criminal conduct and is, as I write this, daring anyone to do anything about it. I don't have to give you links to any of the news sites reporting this; you probably encountered about fifty stories about this before you ever got to this essay.
My Plan A was to propose a modest cooperation of opposing views. Since I no longer see any benefit to cooperating, on any issue, with a seditious fascist, it means that I will have to go to Plan B.
Plan B is simply this. I wrote a speech for Scheisskopf, and in that speech, there are some pretty good lines that actually might give him some mileage: "The freedom to say NO is also the freedom to say YES"; comparing the vaccine to a gun, etc. Now, Scheisskopf is free to use any and all of those lines, with no credit or payments to me at all. But if I see any of my lines showing up on CNN or the New York Times, I am going to send some letters to CNN, the Times, The Huffington Post, Fox News, and perhaps Ron DeSantis, explaining that these pitch lines come from a progressive website.
So go ahead, Scheisskopf: make it a wedge issue now.
That said, I want to say a few words about the name "President Scheisskopf." The name comes from Joseph Heller's Catch-22, in which a character named Scheisskopf:
(1) is promoted to a rank that far exceeds his abilities;
(2) is mired an obvious conflicts of interest;
(3) has a peculiar fascination for parades;
(4) has an attractive wife; and
(5) there is at least one other reason, which I won't go into.
Although I have been impressed with the numerous comical nicknames given to this one individual by others (multiple tips o' the hat to Aldous J Pennyfarthing), I find that "Scheisskopf" fits the Individual One in question pretty well, and is my preferred sobriquet from now on.
