Tanks for the Memories: Satire
By Lyer, Fibski & Propagandovitch, famous Moscow PR outlet
For immediate release:
We spoke with a famous Russian pundit recently about the “situation” in Ukraine. He was exasperated.
“Why you bring this up all the time?”, he pleaded. “It’s a nothingbrgr. It is Western aggression and propaganda. We do nothing and we are blamed for everything. Tucker Carlson, our best TV news personality, said so himself so it must be true.”
“I mean, we remove our tanks frequently and the NATO sends in missiles and troops everywhere around Russia. You think our Russki oligarchs would want to invade such a cold country when they bought condos at unbelievable prices from Mistr Trump in sunshine states?”, he added. “And Mistr Put-in is a man of great energy and warmth. Just ask the Germans, who already know. This is not disinformatsia.”
“However, the situation will be clarified further and opposition liquidated. What do Ukrainians think? They are independent nation? They vant to be EUROPEAN?”, he exclaimed, his voice dripping with disgust.