I’m Sabrina, and I’m an Emerging Fellow at Daily Kos. In the coming months I’ll be getting to know you, so here’s a little bit about me. (Spoiler alert: In short, I’m really just a dancing investigator with a love of contradiction … and some serious Nazi-fighting credentials.)
So far I’ve written different things, from blog posts about local green initiatives to sci-fi love stories to spoken word political poems. The kind of writing I want to do now, with this opportunity and with you, is longer-form explorations. Think of a series that delves deep into tricky topics, unpacked over a few weeks. Look for open-source coverage on tracing “dirty money” from me in the coming months, or a long-form profile on a queer activist in Ukraine, or an investigation into a company monopolizing all online services in U.S prisons.
Surveillance as an emerging field of vulnerability is an issue I care a lot about, too. How can we demystify tech to empower people’s participation? How can we counteract the fact that our very intimate selves, our photos and interactions with loved ones, all have transactional value in the hands of some pretty malicious actors, too big to be checked by the state? How can principles of democratic citizenship guide this uncertain future? I also care a lot about Ukraine and the emerging/ever-present war and occupation, post-Soviet democracy building, and how these struggles overlap with struggles for democracy worldwide. I care about the prison industrial complex, e-carceration, and alternative forms of restorative justice.
Also, thanks to some abrupt and unexpected life experiences, I care deeply about exposing white nationalism in legal institutions and building solidarity networks across marginalized groups.
Last year, I was a co-plaintiff in a German trial against a neo-Nazi. This white nationalist attacked a synagogue, a Doner kebab shop, and various people in the street in Halle, Germany. I was inside the synagogue, (half-heartedly) praying with my community, when this terrorist attacked with homemade grenades and submachine guns. Afterward, we survivors built strong solidarity campaigns and networks in pursuit of justice. There were daily protests outside of the courthouse in Halle condemning the racist politicians who bolstered a culture of public bigotry. There were festivals, meetups, and fundraising campaigns. There were couches offered, meals prepared, speeches made, and sound installations that focused both on the resilience of survivors and the strength of those folks who experience bigotry on a daily basis.
He was sentenced to life, but that meant little to us. We wanted more; we knew that putting one neo-Nazi in prison wouldn’t stop future attacks. Putting one neo-Nazi away wouldn’t change the system that cultivated him. In our analysis, xenophobic systems in Germany, unprocessed relics of the Third Reich, unchecked daily racism, abuse against asylum seekers like Oury Jalloh, and media coverage of migration all were responsible for the attack in Halle and the shootings in Hanau just a few months later.
A racist society creates racist people; any mass shooter is just a few steps away from the everyday racists posting derogatory comments on social media. No one gets radicalized in a bubble.
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There are also questions that stay steady in the back of my mind and animate me. These are questions I explore through writing and thinking and walking along canals, questions I examine in debates, while people-watching, or even while grocery shopping. Where are we now? What does that mean and what are my obligations? What is justice? Most importantly, what are the contradictions within our value systems, as individuals and as community members? How can contradictions be held, illuminated, incorporated? Finding a good sweet contradiction after real inspection and lots of digging is like finding a lost key. Contradictions are difference, are diversity, are pluralism, are life’s natural chaos, and are infinitely interesting—as they appear in both politics and our personal history. Of course, contradictions can also be very ugly to look in the eye.
There are knots of tension lodged in our responses to the issues about which we care most. There are overlapping values and obligations, disagreement both within communities and within ourselves. Doing the ugly work of excavating these contradictions brings me closer to something like “humanity,” to the pluralistic and nondeterministic bundle of cares and values, to the realistic complexities inherent in striving for “good.”
What I’m saying is, I tend not to shy away from the weird complexity of things. I like to unravel and scratch and get caught in the yarn. Academically, I’m obsessed with early medieval political philosophy. The philosophers I’ve studied were literally situated in an alternate universe. For them, the world probably isn’t round. God is somehow the ultimate lawgiver, yet no one knows who God is. Demons are everywhere and blood is multicolored. My mission is to recreate a lost world of stories, psychological profiles, internal motions of self-understanding, yearnings, and hopes. Everything is different—theories of sight, axioms, the fabric of the cosmos—and so everything is made new for me, too. Theories that existed long before us illuminate the unanswerable, but nonetheless are worth thinking through, uncovering questions of who we are and what to do about it.
But when I’m not investigating corruption, researching medieval cosmologies, or trying to weed out institutional racism, I’m a dancer who really likes just rolling around on the floor. The dance styles that I’m learning now include contemporary floor work, and popping, a street dance funk style from Fresno. One day, I hope I’ll be able to headspin on concrete. Tips appreciated.
Beyond breakdancing advice, what do I ask of you, dear reader? Debate, discussion, and wide perspectives. A bit of optimism. A commitment to personal agency and democratic responsibility. Short escapades into apathy are permitted, but only as a resting place for a renewed commitment to action. Also, comments in the comment section.
This story was produced through the Daily Kos Emerging Fellows Program. Read more about DKEF (and meet other Emerging Fellows) here.