What is there to say about Fox News and the right-wing-o-sphere that hasn’t been scratched by the nails of demons into the toilet stall walls of hell? Every day, every hour, every minute, Fox News and the propaganda machines it has birthed are either selling their audience lies, misinformation, and disinformation about the world, or selling them pillows, telling them to sell their gold, and saying that the way out of debt is to give Magnum P.I. your home via a reverse mortgage.
Fox News has had a strange month—even for Fox News. The channel has found itself buddying up to Vladimir Putin and the Russian oligarch system for some time now. Part of this is due to Donald Trump’s popularity with both the GOP and with the typical Fox News viewer. Part of this is due to Fox News’ ideological similarities to the billionaire class that believes an oligarchy is the best way to run a capitalist country. The greatest illustration of the doublethink and doublespeak taking place over in the ultra-right-wing-o-sphere is none other than the very popular Tucker Carlson. Carlson’s pseudo-intellectualism, exposed decades ago, is now just a relentless word salad with the same rhythms and intonations every night. The words just change to say whatever he thinks will keep him out of the most trouble.
Oh yeah, something-something trucker convoy?
The Daily Show put together a nice supercut of Fox News’ Black Lives Matter protests over images of the D.C. trucker convoy. The point is made.
The rest of the Fox News universe is spinning around and around, trying to make sure that its audience is too dizzy to be able to pin the tail on the donkey. In this case, that donkey’s name is Tucker.
Then Tucker said he never said what he said and saying he did was not something that happened and the thing he was saying now is the thing he’s always said even if there is video and audio of him saying the opposite from [looks at watch] a few hours ago.
He wasn’t alone, of course. There is always Laura Ingraham, who took time away from railing against immigrants to attack Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy as Russian began invading.
This led Fox News personalities to try and begin the spin cycle where they clean out their dirty laundry by spreading it all over everything and then telling everyone that the walls are made out of dirty laundry. Tucker said if he was wrong in his never-ending analysis, then it is Joe Biden and Kamala Harris’ fault and also, he never said any of the things he said—yes, the very things that he was recorded saying in the previous few days.
Meanwhile, let’s take a break to see what other ideas Fox News is putting out there about the current conflict overseas and the rising gas prices.
You get that? President Joe Biden doesn’t have the powers of social media that Donald Trump had. In fact Donald Trump, using the power of his short, stubby thumbs, could make liquid gold appear from out of the ground. It’s hard to really argue that with someone whose understanding of foreign policy is based entirely on allowing foreign dictators that are weaker than you to murder journalists and step all over you, while occasionally offering up lower oil prices.
Now? Tucker seems to have settled on the idea that NATO, and more importantly Vice President Kamala Harris, tricked Russia’s Vladimir Putin into invading Ukraine. Does that make the Vice President a double “genius?” Possibly. But Tucker may have found his way out of this dilemma for now.
Bryce says he doesn’t know what’s going on and Tucker says he does know what’s going on. He’s a perfect foil for Fox News. Will Bryce Mitchell be interviewed on Fox News soon enough? Will a guy that very confidently tells you he knows nothing about anything but then has a hard time not telling you his opinions on that thing be the perfect kind of mouthpiece for Tucker to manipulate with leading questions that Mitchell will most likely just repeat the last part of?
You know it.
