“It's a beautiful thing, the destruction of words.” ― George Orwell, 1984
Nick Fuentes is a 23-year-old, ultra-right, conservative gadfly. He is a board member and founder of the “America First Foundation”. A group whose self-described mission is “to educate, promote, and advocate for conservative values based on principles of American Nationalism, Christianity, and Traditionalism”. In other words, an organization founded to promote bigotry. It now hosts the annual America First Political Action Conference (AFPAC). A go-to love-fest for conservatives who consider the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) not hateful enough.
He is also the unofficial leader of the “Groypers” movement — a loose association of disaffected paleoconservatives. Extremists who think other extreme right-wingers are insufficiently extreme. And he has an antipathy to other conservative groups like Charlie Kirk’s “Turning Point USA” — which to the non-conservative viewer appears to be about as extreme as you can get. But there is a nuance to hostile bigotry only evident to those for whom hostile bigotry is a lifestyle.
But enough background, this diary is to highlight Fuentes' strange reasoning vis-a-vis sexuality and celibacy. A subject that for some perverse reason is endlessly fascinating to conservatives.
There are rumors about Fuentes’ sexuality, which Fuentes confronts in an episode of his video podcast. He says,
"People are calling me gay because I've never had a girlfriend."
Fuentes pooh-poohs the idea and suggests that the facts support a dramatically different conclusion,
"I think if anything — if anything — it makes me less gay. If anything, it makes me not gay — as opposed to less gay, not that there's any gay, but it makes me not gay."
The lady doth protest too much, methinks. And she also protests confusingly.
Fuentes then described how he has never been in a romantic relationship or had sex with a woman but is "more heterosexual than anybody.” He added,
"If we're really being honest, never having a girlfriend, never having sex with a woman, really makes you more heterosexual, because honestly, dating women is gay. And if you want to know the truth, the only really straight, heterosexual position is to be an asexual incel."
I am not a sexologist, psychologist, psychiatrist, or philosopher. My only expertise on the subject is that I am a heterosexual. And as such, I find his line of reasoning opaque. In other words, I also find it hard to imagine how I would have been more heterosexual or a better heterosexual if I had been celibate.
Do not get me wrong. If you choose to be celibate — or are asexual — more power to you. And carry on. But I think that actions speak louder than words. If you want to consider yourself a sexual being, having sex is affirmation. Otherwise, you could equally well argue that men dating men is inherently straight. And that the only really gay, homosexual position is to be an asexual incel. This leads to a paradox — that the same “proof” supports two opposing positions.
Fuentes’ logic is further fragile because of his assumption that “incel” is a choice by heterosexuals. And that you would choose to be one to confirm your "straightness". But whereas celibacy might be a choice, being an incel — involuntary celibate — is never one. Hence the word “involuntary”. Lastly, on a purely grammatical note, “celibate incel” is redundant. Incels are by definition celibate. It would be the same as saying you were a meat-eating carnivore.
Historically and today, it is a truism that people obsessed with sex have “issues”. In Western European liberal democracies, there is little conversation about abortion and less angst about the LGBTQ+ community. While there is a lot of chat about sex, it is because schools offer comprehensive sex-ed. And because European parents talk about sex more freely with their children than their American counterparts.
Look at who does obsess with sex — the religious. Much of the literature of faith deals with sex — who can have it with whom, when, and how. The more fundamentalist the religion, the more bandwidth sex occupies. Conservatives spend a lot of time deep-diving into other people's sex lives. Whereas liberals believe in “whatever floats your boat”, as long as no one gets hurt and you leave children and animals out of it.
Nothing escapes the puritans’ purview. They endlessly debate pre-marital sex, adultery, contraception, sex toys, sexuality, and gender identity. Right-wing think tanks and dismal organizations with “family” in their name — the American Family Association, Family Research Council, Family Research Institute, Focus on Family, et al. — employ thousands and spend millions to peek through bedroom curtains. It is such a pointless waste of time and resources. And how do you feel so much hate?
And just to ice the cake, while all of these self-serving moralists foist their rules on the rest of us, they fail to practice what they preach. You cannot consume the news without learning of yet another man of God getting busted with a male escort, a juvenile, or a woman not his wife.