Dr. Ronny Jackson, the medieval alchemist turned Texas congressman who transformed an unctuous wad of id into a golden Adonis with a few strokes of his magic pen, has presumably been caught in yet another big MAGA fib.
Rep. Jackson, who infamously remarked that Donald Trump could live to be 200 if he’d spent less time beer-bonging Shamrock Shakes and lightly pureed Quarter Pounders (I’m paraphrasing), recently tried to take credit for Dick Cheney’s continued good health—which is a bit like bragging that you keep Heinrich Himmler’s consciousness on a Hello Kitty thumb drive and upload it to the internet whenever you need a fourth for Mario Kart.
But hey, who really knows what appeals to Republican voters these days, other than rampant chaos and election fraud fantasies?
Because Rep. Liz Cheney—Dick Cheney’s daughter—had the temerity to claim Donald Trump came up short in an election he most definitely lost, the MAGA mob is all over her like flies on Mike Pence. They want her to lose her upcoming primary for Wyoming’s lone House seat, and they’re pulling out all the lies to make that happen.
One such liar is Jackson, who, it appears, either has false memories of examining Dick Cheney’s nude body in excruciating clinical detail or is simply lying about having done so. Either way … ew.
“I, like many Republicans in my party, have tried my best to stay out of this. I had a relationship with the Cheneys, as you know,” Rep. Jackson, who flew to Wyoming over the weekend as part of Trump’s Liz Cheney Vendetta Tour, told the Washington Examiner. “I took care of them when I first got to the White House. I was her father's doctor for a while, I took care of her and her family, and I tried my best to just stay out of this. But it's gotten to the point now where I have to speak out, I have to say something. And that’s one of the reasons that I'm here tonight is because we are done.”
I’ve never understood people who lie for no reason. Does saying you treated a candidate’s father give your mealy takes any more credibility than they had before falsely claiming you told Dick Cheney to turn his head and cough? Doubtful, but here we are.
Unfortunately for Jackson, Cheney’s actual doctor was available to set the record straight.
A Cheney spokesperson denied Jackson's claims, saying in a statement to the Washington Examiner, "Ronny Jackson was not Vice President Cheney’s doctor, nor was he the Cheney family doctor. For the eight years he was Vice President, Dr. Jon Reiner was his cardiologist and Dr. Lew Hofman was Vice President Cheney’s White House physician.”
Reiner tweeted in response to this report, concurring with Cheney's representative. "Actually I was the VP’s doctor for all 8 years and Ronny had nothing to do with him," he said.
Here’s that tweet:
Of course, MAGA mites don’t—and presumably can’t—back down from their lies. They double down. And the tweet from Cheney’s actual doctor—who also co-authored a book with the former vice president—almost immediately set off a Twitter spat between Jackson and Reiner.
And then it got a wee bit personal …
So we’ve definitely got a “he said, he said” situation here. Whom to believe? Hmm. I don’t know—maybe the guy who wasn’t the subject of that scathing inspector general report that cited “sexual and denigrating” behavior toward a female subordinate, as well as problematic alcohol and drug use? Or whose behavior wasn’t described “with words and phrases such as ‘meltdowns,’ 'yells for no reason,’ ‘rages,’ ‘tantrums,’ ‘lashes out,’ and ‘aggressive.’”
Maybe—just maybe—folks should take that dude’s assertions with a grain of salt. And a shot of tequila. But—and this is key—not if you happen to be an on-duty White House physician.
Check out Aldous J. Pennyfarthing’s four-volume Trump-trashing compendium, including the finale, Goodbye, Asshat: 101 Farewell Letters to Donald Trump, at this link. Or, if you prefer a test drive, you can download the epilogue to Goodbye, Asshat for the low, low price of FREE.