I am sharing this story with permission and have changed the names to ensure anonymity.
It was the late 1950s/ early 1960s. Eddie was in his late teens/ early 20s. Abortions were WAY illegal and many people feared jail time if it was found out they had one or helped someone get one – let alone were an abortion provider. Eddie had a close friend who confided in him she was pregnant. The sex was consensual (it happened a lot more often back then than people like to admit), but she and her partner (not Eddie) were not married and neither of them were capable of taking care of a baby. She was also Catholic, which meant that her family would disown her, force her to marry the baby’s father, or force her to become a nun. Her pregnancy would shame her entire family and impact her entire future – an unwed mother was practically dead to society back then. Her family did not have a lot of money, so her “visiting family upstate” for 5 months was not going to be a thing. In a desperate plea she asked Eddie and a few other very close friends to help her have an abortion. She won’t tell the father because she really does not want to marry him – he’s abusive and she is trying to get out of the relationship.
She and Eddie grew up together and lived in the same neighborhood for most of their lives. Eddie was very willing to help her out of this situation – he knew what life for her would be like otherwise -he’d seen it. He and a few friends found the $1500 for the abortion. That is just under 18K in 2022 for reference. In the story he has told me several times, he does not mention how he got that much money, but I also know enough about his past to not ask – it was sketchy at best. They ask a friend of a friend of a friend who could preform the abortion for her and got it set up. At 7 am one morning, a car pulls up, she gets in, hands the driver the cash and disappears for 12 hours. Eddie knew this was pretty normal and waits for her to return.
When she returns and gets out of the car, she is pale and there is a stream of blood running down her leg. While she is no longer pregnant, she is hemorrhaging – a potential death sentence. She had a botched abortion. She is traumatized and scared from the experience. She is hesitant to go to the hospital. The doctors will know she had an abortion and could have her arrested, assuming she lived. But without medical attention, she will probably die. Eddie convinces her to go, takes her there himself – also facing the repercussions with her. Upon arrival, he tells the nurse she is having a miscarriage. She is taken back and thankfully the doctors are chill about things and do not report her.
They hung out for another decade. She eventually marries one of the other guys in the group – it’s a good relationship. Eddie finds out the abortion destroyed her uterus – she will never have kids. Thankfully she does not have to hide this from her husband – he was there and helped fund the abortion as well. Eddie’s friend gets it, understands exactly who he married – which is a big weight off her shoulders and helps her with the trauma she experienced during the abortion. Other than the 4 guys and one close girlfriend in the group – no one will ever know about her abortion and near death experience.
This experience had a profound impact on Eddie. Even though he was raised Catholic, he is a feminist in his views of the world. He advocates for women’s rights, access to abortion and birth control, criminalizing rape including in marriage, etc. I talked with Eddie yesterday — he is appalled at the potential of this story repeating itself in the future. How can anyone not think reproductive care is important??