Thanks, Mr. President.
This month, we remind the LGBTQI+ community that they are loved and cherished. My Administration sees you for who you are—deserving of dignity, respect, and support. As I said in my State of the Union Address—especially to our younger transgender Americans—I will always have your back as your President so that you can be yourself and reach your God-given potential.
Today and every day, my Administration stands with every LGBTQI+ American in the ongoing struggle against intolerance, discrimination, and injustice. We condemn the dangerous State laws and bills that target LGBTQI+ youth. And we remain steadfast in our commitment to helping LGBTQI+ people in America and around the world live free from violence.
This month, we honor the resilience of LGBTQI+ people, who are fighting to live authentically and freely. We reaffirm our belief that LGBTQI+ rights are human rights.
Read the full proclamation here. Don’t forget to pride-light up that White House, Joe.
Cheers and Jeers for Thursday, June 2, 2022
Note: Due to budget cuts, there will be no further notice until further notice. —Mgt.
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til the first public House Jan. 6 Subcommittee hearings: 7
Days 'til the 2022 Strawberry Festival in Media, Pennsylvania: 2
Average price of a gallon of gas in the U.S.: $4.61
Estimated number of assault rifles in private hands in the U.S.: 20 million
Recreational marijuana sales in New Jersey after its first month: $24 million
Percent of Americans who consistently wear their masks below their nose, according to research by the University of Minnesota: 25%-30%
Age at which John Williams scored his latest Top 40 hit single ("Theme from Obi-Wan Kenobi") on iTunes: 90
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Your Thursday Molly Ivins Moment:
Accustomed as I am to listening to Texas legislators bloviate for hours on end, I found nothing odd in U.S. Rep. Tom DeLay's arguments against gun control.
"Our school systems teach the children that they are nothing but glorified apes who are evolutionized out of some primordial soup of mud," said DeLay, in the course of explaining to us why 12 students and a teacher were shot to death by two other students in Littleton, Colo.
Obviously, being taught that we are nothing but glorified apes who are evolutionized out of some primordial soup of mud is enough to drive anyone to violence; the mere thought makes you want to go out and shoot a dozen or so teenagers, doesn't it? But in the interests of fairness, I should point out that Tom DeLay himself is exceptionally good evidence for the theory that man is descended from monkeys. And damn recently, too.
—June 1999
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Tis the season…
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CHEERS to saying enough is enough. Finally—a breakthrough on gun control. The country finally did the right thing, even if it might cause some pockets of whiny-baby outrage from the boom-boom humpers. And that country, of course, would not be ours…
Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau said the country will dramatically tighten access to firearms after a series of deadly mass shootings in the United States.
The decision isn’t a full ban, Trudeau said, but effectively “caps” the market for handguns in Canada, halting any new sales, imports or transfers of the weapons.
“Other than using firearms for sport shooting and hunting, there is no reason anyone in Canada should need guns in their everyday lives,” he said Monday.
Also on the Canadian list of action items: limits on magazine sizes (5 rounds), new "red flag" laws, higher penalties for gun smuggling, and license revocation for instigators of domestic violence. Here in the U.S. our lawmakers have a similar list, which will be whittled down until it contains one item that'll actually pass the Senate: raising the legal age to buy a door to 21. Gosh, where would we be without Ted Cruz’s big brain?
JEERS to addictive additions. Thirty-seven years ago today, The R.J. Reynolds Company (motto: "If it's something you can inhale, we'll take it to retail") proposed a major merger with Nabisco that would create a $4.9 billion conglomerate of food and tobacco products. Which probably explains why 36 years and nine months ago I had to resort to the nicotine patch to wean myself off a sudden addiction to Fig Newtons.
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BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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END BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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CHEERS to time savers. 110 years ago today, the newly-invented washer/dryer combo went on sale for the first time. It was promptly followed a few hours later by another milestone: the first teenagers to totally ignore it.
CHEERS to today's edition of Oh Look—Hillary Wins Again. Courtesy of CNN:
Hillary Clinton campaign lawyer Michael Sussmann was acquitted Tuesday of lying to the FBI, in the first trial of special counsel John Durham's investigation. The verdict is a major defeat for Durham and his Justice Department prosecutors, who have spent three years looking for wrongdoing in the Trump-Russia probe.
Durham is a Trump-era holdover who was appointed by then-Attorney General Bill Barr in 2019 to review the Russia probe.
This has been today's edition of Oh Look—Hillary Wins Again.
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Ten years ago in C&J: June 2, 2012
CHEERS to ratting out Ratzinger. Honest to god I'm using this tired old phrase in a context that's both new and newsworthy: "The butler did it." Specifically, the Pope's butler (Jeeves, I presume) went rummaging through Benedict XVI's shit and fed it to a reporter writing a book about turmoil in the Vatican. And when I say shit, I mean some serious shit:
He told CNN that he received the documents during a year of private meetings in secret locations.
The documents show that the allegations of corruption and money laundering were a concern for a number of high ranking prelates, including Carlo Maria Vigano, who is now the Papal Nuncio in Washington, DC.
When all this skullduggery airs out, he won’t be able to say enough Hail Mary's to absolve him of his sins. The Pope, I mean.
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And just one more…
CHEERS to blowing this popsicle stand. As you all know by now, whenever the shit gets too deep here on the bluish-brown marble, I call NASA to see if Newt Gingrich has fulfilled his promise to colonize the moon yet. Sorry to say the answer is no, so we'll just have to spend our days and nights gazing yonward and dreaming. Here’s a peek, courtesy of NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory, at June’s galactic highlights, including a planetary breakup and a visit from the Hercules Cluster:
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Also: on the 17th you might get a clear glimpse of a Romulan vessel in the split second between the time it de-cloaks to vaporize your neighbor's tool shed and then re-cloak. Have that smart-cam ready and prepare to go viral.
Have a nice Thursday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial
According to Hippocrates, the father of Western medicine, “Cheers and Jeers is man’s best medicine.” This explains why Bill in Portland Maine's famous kiddie pool attracts adventurous families annually.
—Jennifer McCartney
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