Hey, remember 2020? It kind of sucked, if I recall correctly. Except for that bit at the end, of course. So what would you think of two dudes who want to live in 2020 permanently? They’d have to be bonkers, right?
Meet longtime presidential cosplayer Donald Trump and the ululating bratwurst patty formerly known as Mike Lindell. They want to return to 2020 over and over and over again, and likely will for the rest of their lives—until that glorious day when Jesus checks his spam folder, sees 30,000 unopened prayers from Lindell, and finally, mercifully mutes him.
In the meantime, Lindell still gets airtime from his bloated buddy Steve Bannon, and never fails to use it to spew new 2020 election fraud fallacies.
More on Minnesota Fascist in a moment, but did you know that Trump is traveling to Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania, this weekend to prop up his hand-picked Senate and gubernatorial candidates, Crudité Bae and Forced-Birth Fredo?
Any chance he’ll mention either of them, or will it be a nonstop phony-rigged-election-fest, with a healthy side of document theft denials?
That should be fun, huh? Welcome, MAGA, to the most pro-America event this side of Tehran! Everyone who brings a confidential U.S. government document or higher gets a free "Let's Go, Brandon" T-shirt!
Which brings us back to Lindell, who at this point is basically just that kid from your sixth-grade class who still believed in Santa Claus.
From Steve Bannon’s Disintegrating Before Your Very Eyes, but for Now, Anyway, Still Has an Internet Show:
Transcript!
MIKE LINDELL: “And on top of that, Steve, what we’re doing, kind of as a precaution, I’m serving papers now on all 3,240-some odd counties in the United States today, tomorrow, and Friday to preserve evidence, to not delete the 2020 election, because, guess what, they’re all involved in lawsuits. We all forget about these billion-dollar lawsuits that are out there. Well, there’s a lot of people—over 200 people that got threatening letters[s] and sued, so that’s evidence in those cases. So my lawyers all agreed, they go, ‘Yeah, let’s do it.’ So we reached out to all of you out there and we got the addresses for the persons and the person in charge of every county, which they allowed them to have, and say, ‘Hey, we’re not going to delete the 2020 election.’ Remember, Steve, they’re not ordered to delete it, the feds say that you can, you gotta preserve it for 22 months. You could keep it for five years if you wanted. So all you county clerks or commissioners out there that are watching, you better not delete the 2020 election. Just saying.”
STEVE BANNON: “So this evidence … you’re asking them to preserve the actual machine results or the real results from 2020. What do you and your lawyers intend to do with that?”
LINDELL: “Well, by having the cast-vote records, Steve, it shows 100% that it was algorithms used by machines. We’ve only found two places where it wasn’t used, and we can’t even reveal them right now.”
Yeah, I’m not sure what any of that means, either. And, unfortunately, there’s still no “Nigerian Prince Scam” setting on Google Translate. But it sure looks like Lindell is “ordering” every U.S. county not to “delete” the 2020 election, whatever that means. I suppose he imagines that these thousands of nefarious county clerks, having conspired with each other to steal the election for Joe Biden on behalf of Communist China, have at long last been checkmated. “Shit! We forgot to delete the 2020 election as Dark Brandon commanded! LINDELLLLLLL!”
Can someone please just sit Mike down and explain to him that Georgia recounted every one of its 2020 presidential ballots by hand? Might that convince him? No, of course it won’t. But it would be hella fun to watch.
And now, just for sharts and gargles, a screen grab of a captured Russian spy drowning in 11 centimeters of flop sweat:
Between that prescribed “remedy” and, well, the entirety of the nearly two years since he lost to Biden, it’s like Trump has no clue how the electoral process works.
Check out Aldous J. Pennyfarthing’s four-volume Trump-trashing compendium, including the finale, Goodbye, Asshat: 101 Farewell Letters to Donald Trump, at this link. Or, if you prefer a test drive, you can download the epilogue to Goodbye, Asshat for the low, low price of FREE.