I am 60 years old, and I have finally come to the conclusion that I am just angry.
Well, not JUST angry. I'm tired, too. And, disappointed.
And, I suspect, that all of this has just boiled down, over the years, to an overwhelming and indefatigable sense of despair.
And, it is time to say:
I am angry.
I am angry for being treated badly.
I am angry for being treated poorly because I am Jewish.
I am angry for being treated poorly because I am gay.
I am angry for being treated poorly because my body did not act the way it was "supposed to" when I was a child.
I am angry for being treated poorly because my body did not act the way it was "supposed to" during puberty.
I am angry for being treated poorly that, because my body, being as it is, has put me into a third category in a world that wants gender to be an either/or thing.
I am angry that people who claim to be Christian don't give a shit what Jesus said.
I am angry that they are hurtful and violent.
I am angry that I have suffered arson and vandalism and rape and threats of murder and abuse in awe-inspiring diversity by people who that claim that they are morally better than I am.
I am angry that my rights are up for grabs during every election.
I am angry that people who say that they love me still vote against my rights in every election.
I am angry that they spend their money in organizations that freely take that money and use it against me for reasons as trivial as "I like their fries".
I am angry that greed is destroying the earth.
I am angry that we are looking down the barrel of cataclysm in our environment.
I am angry that humans have hunted so many species to death.
I am angry that we have polluted the air and the water and the soil into unsustainability for reasons as trivial as "plastic forks are easier to deal with".
I am angry that we are facing a fascist future.
I am angry that it was so easy.
I am angry that, despite me yelling about this since 1992, nothing has happened, as I have watched the fascists march the ball down the field, and people called me "hysterical", "hyperbolic", and a "Holocaust fetishist".
I am angry that we are now looking at a 46%/45% split in our country, and, really, that is proof enough that we have already lost.
I am angry that people can't be bothered to vote.
I am angry that, even when I tell people that my very existence, my marriage, my *life* is on the ballot, they maintain that they aren't going to vote.
I am angry that people say that "both parties are the same". I am angry that people say to me that voting for a Democrat is like staying in a relationship with an abusive partner.
I am angry that the middle class is gone.
I am angry that disposable income is a thing of the past.
I am angry that all the wonderous little stores and restaurants that made every city unique are dead or dying, and that we are becoming the United States of Generica.
I am angry that we care more about "Dancing With the Stars" than how to save the world.
I am angry that I am living to see the destruction of a beautiful world, which I love, and a magnificent country filled with diversity in peoples and tastes and smells and things to see.
I am angry that the bees are dying.
I am angry that I can't see the stars at night.
I am angry that it is politically advantageous to have people without potable water, sufficient food, or education for education's sake.
I am angry.
I am sick of fighting.
I am exhausted.
And I am disappointed that my country and my world have come to the edge of extinction, and that so many people don't seem to care.