While Republicans as a whole seem oddly enamored with the big wad of venal Play-Doh who spent four fraught years cosplaying as president, Big Donor Republicans appear to prefer someone with 91 fewer felony charges and one less fraudulent real estate business.
Indeed, rank-and-file GOP voters may seem content to flock to MAGA rallies and cheer along to Donald Trump’s greatest hits Hitler speeches, but the well-heeled, wealth-pilfering plutocrats of the world have spent some time spelunking through the Wiffle ball holes of Trump’s forsaken cranium and found him wanting. And now, after walking a bit less than a mile in Ron DeSantis’ dorky white lift boots, they’re hoping former South Carolina Gov. Nikki Haley can break the MAGA spell and lower their taxes further without making suburban women’s skin spontaneously molt off their bodies.
RELATED STORY: First Amendment fight: Critics accuse DeSantis of rank hypocrisy after he slams Haley
No, really. According to a new report in The New York Times, they think there’s a chance they could permanently consign Trump to the McDonald’s parking lot dumpster of history—though it remains to be seen if this is a true glimmer of hope or just more wishful thinking:
Her ascent in the polls and strong debate performances have raised hopes among Republicans hungering to end the dominance of former President Donald J. Trump that maybe, just maybe, they have found a candidate who can do so.
“I’m a long way from making my mind up — something could change — but I’m very impressed with her,” said Kenneth G. Langone, the billionaire Home Depot co-founder, who has donated to Ms. Haley’s campaign and is considering giving more. “I think she’s a viable candidate. I would certainly like her over Trump.”
Ms. Haley’s fresh appeal to the moneyed crowd is coming at a critical juncture in the race, when positive buzz and steady cash flow are vital to a candidate’s survival. With less than eight weeks before the Iowa caucuses, Ms. Haley’s campaign and allied political committees need money to pay for travel, advertising, staff and a ground game to draw out potential voters.
Okay, sure, but it’s important to remember that while Haley might be the least-bad GOP candidate—with the possible exception of Azzza Hutchinzzzzon, who may find it next to impossible to raise money from the financial sector unless he stands outside a payday loan office twirling a sign in a Gumby costume—she’s simply awful.
For one thing, less than 10 days ago she said she would sign a six-week abortion ban if she were still governor of South Carolina. This means she has some serious trouble reading the room—a fact that’s been made abundantly clear by her outreach to young people, which has mostly consisted of talking down to them about TikTok and briefly suggesting everyone on social media be forced to use their real names.
RELATED STORY: Nikki Haley wants to doxx every person on social media—or does she?
But hey, Republican donors who are tired of losing appear to believe Six-Week Nik is some sort of answer, at least if the quotes from this Times story are indicative of anything. “It’s invigorating to be truly excited by a candidate again,” Jonathan Bush, the chief executive of a health data startup and a cousin of former President George W. Bush, told the Times. (Presumably Jonathan was excited by his cousin’s candidacy, too, before the economy went China Syndrome and everyone realized we’d invaded a country for no reason.)
Cousin Jonathan wasn’t done, though: “The topic that everyone is on is, ‘How do you beat Donald Trump?’” Bush said of Haley’s performance during a virtual fundraiser he’d hosted on her behalf earlier this month. “And she was careful to say, ‘Look, people will decide about him, but this is where I am on certain issues.’ And she rattled off some issues, related to our debt, related to our role in the world. But what you picked up was an electric energy that I think got this crowd really excited.”
Other donors appear ready to say Trump’s air of inevitability is really just methane. Much like the rest of him. “There were people that don’t like Trump at all but were very skeptical that he could be stopped,” Eric Levine, a Republican fundraiser, told the Times. “They now believe he can be stopped.” Levine added: “His aura of invincibility is just peeled away completely.”
The Times also notes that Haley’s $11.6 million in campaign reserves, which have been padded by contributions from Wall Street executives like fund manager Stanley Druckenmiller and private equity player Barry Sternlicht, are poised to grow. The paper spoke with 20 financial and corporate executives who indicated that “more big checks will soon arrive.”
“I’m supporting Nikki because I think the nation needs to move on from the divisiveness and fear-mongering of the far left and right,” Sternlicht said. “I’m also opting in for a fresh face, a younger person who more accurately reflects the nation.”
Well, a beached blobfish’s face would more accurately represent our nation—or any other nation, for that matter—than Donald Trump. But it’s a pretty low bar. Meanwhile, Haley is also getting positive feedback from the likes of Jamie Dimon, CEO of JPMorgan Chase, who called her last month to tell her he was impressed by her “knowledge of policy details and her open-minded approach to complex issues raised in the Republican presidential race” and told her to “keep it up.”
But while accumulating a war chest may be a necessary condition for winning the presidency, it’s hardly sufficient—and with less than two months to go before the Iowa caucuses, Haley is still polling roughly 50 points behind Trump.
That said, she’s been surging in Iowa and is now within 3 points of DeSantis in the state based on the RealClearPolitics polling average. She’s currently in second place in New Hampshire. Her supporters believe a strong showing in Iowa could propel her in the Granite State, where enough independent voters could be sufficiently freaked out about Trump to hand her a victory.
It seems like a long shot, sure, but lots of old-guard Republicans seem desperate to stop the monster they created.
“There’s a possibility in the coming months to win New Hampshire,” said Bush, who plans to create a PAC to boost Haley’s standing with the state’s independents.
Okay, we’ll see. It’s worth a shot. That said, Republicans almost always choose the worst possible candidate. It’s kind of their thing. And Cousin Jonathan should know that better than anyone.
Check out Aldous J. Pennyfarthing’s four-volume Trump-trashing compendium, including the finale, Goodbye, Asshat: 101 Farewell Letters to Donald Trump, at this link. Or, if you prefer a test drive, you can download the epilogue to Goodbye, Asshat for the low, low price of FREE.
Campaign Action