‘Letters to trump’
$99.00
“President Donald J. Trump's second official book since leaving the White House is Letters To Trump. A colorful photo book captures the incredible, and oftentimes private correspondence, between President Donald J. Trump and some of the biggest names in history throughout the past 40 years!
From President Richard Nixon, to Princess Diana, and from Hillary Clinton, to Chairman Kim Jong Un, no book offers a glimpse into history quite like LETTERS TO TRUMP!”
— Winning Team Publishing
So that’s why he kept those love letters from Kim! And yes, Winning Team, the ex-president’s publisher, uses exclamation points to end each paragraph! How exciting!!
On earth 1, family members are rushing to sew up pocketbooks and cut up the credit cards of their aging and brain-softened relatives. Here comes another tRumpco (apologies to Ronco’s Ron Popeil) promotion conceived to separate the MAGA crowd from their social security checks. I remember the days when TV marketing genius and inventor Ron Popeil was selling such memorable products as the Dial-a-Matic, the Showtime Rotisserie, and my all-time favorite, the Pocket Fisherman. The Ronco pitch was usually based upon the theory that everyone can afford a product if it is priced right and marketed aggressively— $19.95 became the standard ask, followed by the sweetener that asked the mesmerized customer “...but wait!” Free shipping or an additional item for even less than the original price was Popeil’s strong “close”. He sold millions. The legendary pitchman died at the age of 86 after amassing a small fortune and the admiration of those who waited to see him hawk his next new thing.
Trump’s legend is another thing. His most recent gambits to find a way into his donors’ pockets all have the flavor of forgettable scams. Trump will sell anything and most of what he sells is— like him— useless crap. Many of Trump's ventures have been flops and now only exist in clearance aisles or online overstock sites where they now sell to collectors who bank on their future value as rarities.
Have a hankerin’ for Trump Vodka? Trump Ice? or what about a thick, juicy Trump Steak? Want a worthless degree and a complementary mortarboard from Trump University? Have a mild gambling addiction that can only be soothed in a golden gauche casino like the Trump Taj Mahal, now The Hard Rock Hotel & Casino Atlantic City, or the demolished Trump Plaza? Well, you can forget that because your money is safe since they are all gone, gone the way of all flops.
Trump’s legacy will be remembered for the bankruptcies and lawsuits— the never-ending flims and the flams. Most of Trump’s schemes belie his boasts of being a skilled businessman whose empire was built on branding. He bears the brand of a loser both as a businessman and now as the twice impeached, shameless huckster who bathes in the delusions of trading card images of him with six-pack abs, of him consorting with diety and superheroes.
What they all have in common...
Now comes this, Trump immodestly selling a book of complimentary letters others have written to him over the last 40 years. His publisher gushes that they are “The nation’s premier conservative publishing house...” and if that isn’t enough to separate you from your savings, they offer a signed copy for a mere $399.00. Few coffee tables are worthy of displaying the tome— but I bet they are banking on the chance that yours is.
eBay
Most of Trump’s latest efforts in peddling merchandise like the socks here are designed to, excuse the pun, hose his most loyal worshippers. He has become the new Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker freeloaders of the current political zeitgeist. And, frankly, his audience is not that dissimilar to theirs. The evangelical scammers were disgraced and dispatched from their “PTL” network by scandal. At the preorder price of $99.95, the grift has all the elements of another faith-based confidence scheme where the “ask” is based on a promise of delivery. Whether it is the promise of salvation or the threat of retribution, catfishing for dollars targets the desperate and weak among us. But first, they must have faith. Trump’s book ad on Amazon has no “look inside” feature to tease and whet the reader’s appetite— the author’s name is pitch enough.
‘As Seen on TV’
The procession of shameless begging is an indication of his desperation because the big Republican donors are wary. The money tree that politicians shake for campaign spending is stilled by doubt. Donors love their money and intend to place it with candidates and campaigns with the promise of returns. No one doubts that if Trump were to once again become the Republican standard-bearer donors will fall in line. The question is, however, how much and how often will they give to a candidate they have come to despise:
“I don’t think it is fair to call Donald Trump a candidate,” said Eric Levine, a top GOP fundraiser who has been calling on the party to move on from Trump since the 2020 election and the uprising at the Capitol. “He is a metastasizing cancer who if he is not stopped is going to destroy the party. Donald Trump is a loser. He is the first president since Hoover to lose the House, the Senate and the presidency in a single term. Because of him Chuck Schumer is the Leader Schumer, and the progressive agenda is threatening to take over the country. And he is probably the only Republican in the country, if not the only person in the country, who can’t beat Joe Biden.”
— Politico, “The GOP Is Starting to Plot Against Donald Trump,” by David Freedlander, 02/09/2023
For the man whose books seem to write themselves, this one may need the inflated price of $99.95 to make up for the dwindling audience for his outsized ego and petty cons. Oprah and the other celebs whose intimate communications are revealed here may even choose the more sought-after signed edition. For me, I’ll just wait for the court filings outtakes.
Maybe his next volume could be promoted via direct mail order or ordered through a toll-free call. The revised softcover edition could include letters his attorneys write him in Federal prison. It would be a sad tale retold by an idiot, written entirely in code with invisible ink, ideal for those willing to fill in the blanks. Today only, for less than the cost of a cuppa coffee a day. Don’t wait. Call NOW!
