Every one of us has had bad days in our lives, but few of us have ever been indicted on four felonies for a conspiracy to fraudulently change the results of a United States election. At this point, that might only count as an average Thursday for Donald Trump.
But boy oh boy, was Trump's day filled with reminders that he isn't the president anymore. Get ready for truly epic levels of short-thumbed rageposting, because he had a bad day.
Trump's arraignment began with an insult he's probably not used to, with the magistrate judge making him cool his heels at the defense table for a good 20 minutes before showing up to begin. In Trump's world, making someone wait for you is a power move. It's how Vladimir Putin used to show world leaders he was the more important figure. "I'm too busy for you, so just sit and stew for a while" is a favorite game among the elite.
And then, the judge had the audacity to not suck up to him!
Trump's lawyer explicitly introduced Donald as "President Trump," only to have the female judge greet him with a mere mister. And, back at his Bedminster golf club, many a ketchup bottle died that night.
Even before arriving at the courthouse, Trump was getting some in-your-face reminders that he was no longer the most heavily guarded figure in the country.
Trump’s campaign team was miffed by a lack of traffic support from local police after he arrived in Washington, forcing the motorcade to weave through rush-hour traffic. Other motorists attempted to change lanes between the motorcade, showing less deference than typical for an average funeral procession. The welcome from onlookers at the courthouse was occasionally hostile, with several middle fingers from bikers and spectators along the highway from the airport. There was a Biden flag on a corner near the courthouse.
What local police were supposed to do, upon the arrival of the man whose attempted coup caused injuries to many of their own colleagues, was block off entire streets so that Trump's motorcade could scoot through the city like a line of sleek black ducklings, ruining everybody else's plans to be anywhere on time. But then, middle fingers? A Biden sign? This is why Trump admires dictators so much. In his mind, "That guy has a Biden sign" is something the Secret Service should have taken care of before Donald's unwrinkled brain had to take in its existence.
Pfft. His campaign team was "miffed."
The court appearance was not the end of Donald's day, of course. After having the conditions of his release explained to him by a female judge who called him "mister," Trump still had to make his way back to his Bedminster summer home in New Jersey. He of course had to take his private, flag-painted 757 jet to make the journey.
Sorry, Donald. You ain't on Air Force One anymore and airports are busy places. There's a line, and you have to wait your turn.
The capper of Donald's trip, however, and perhaps the worst reminder that he is no longer half as important as he thinks he is, is that Trump found his motorcade blocked upon his arrival at Bedminster.
I know what you're probably thinking: Those goats were clearly antifa. But Actually, those could well have been Donald's own goats, or at least goats owned by a chain of Bermuda-based corporations and subcontracted to his house through a complex arrangement that would be baffling to most goats. Those goats might be the personal herd that gives Trump a multimillion-dollar property tax dodge.
That's got to be enraging to Trump—having his motorcade come to a dead stop after being blocked by goats. Not protesters. Not bicyclists. Farm animals.
And the Secret Service didn't do a damn thing about it! Not a single goat was tackled or riddled with bullets! Donald's own tax dodge was given the right of way!
Yes, it was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day for Donald Trump. He had to see a Biden sign (probably the reason he announced that Washington, D.C., was now a hellhole once he'd made it back to the airport), he was forced to wait, he was called mister (and by a woman!), his plane had to burn money on the runway waiting for commercial jets carrying vacationers and screaming babies and other people's extra packed pairs of underpants to take to the air before he could, and then his own damn goats showed him who's boss when he got back to his house. And all of those things were probably just as enraging to him as being arraigned for four new felonies.
Yeah, he's going to be hell to be around today—I imagine Melania Trump already had plans to be a few states away until at least Monday.
And the odds are pretty good that Donald had goat for dinner last night.
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