Happy 75th Anniversary, Jimmy and Rosalynn
Cheers to the union of two national treasures. I looked it up, and the traditional 75th-anniversary gift is diamonds. I’m not positive, but I believe the non-traditional gift is anything they damn well want.
Cheers and Jeers for Wednesday, July 7, 2021
Note: Here's today's Helpful Hint from Heloise. To reduce your risk of becoming a red-hatted cultist, think with your brain. Hugs!
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til Bastille Day: 7
Days 'til the Delaware State Fair: 15
Rank of COVID-19 among leading causes of death in the U.S. in June, down from #1: #7
Percent of June COVID deaths that were among the unvaccinated, according to Doc Fauci: 99.2%
Percent of Americans polled by NPR/PBS NewsHour/Marist who approve of the way President Biden is handling the pandemic: 64%
Percent chance that First Lady Jill Biden picked up some blueberry cake and whoopie pies when she stopped by Becky's Diner while visiting Portland, Maine last Saturday: 100%
Number of hot dogs Joey Chestnut packed away in ten minutes to win his 14th Nathan's Famous International July 4th Hot Dog eating Contest at Coney Island: 76
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Mid-week Rapture Index: 185 (including 5 antichrists and 1 case of really dumb Christian summer camp management). Soul Protection Factor 24 lotion is recommended if you’ll be walking amongst the heathen today.
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Puppy Pic of the Day: The most popular breeds are…
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CHEERS to bouncing back. When a media outfit like Axios (motto: "100 Percent More Axes In Every Bowl Than Cheerios”) looks on the bright side of life, you know something must be going right. So kudos to scribe David Nather for publishing a nice little bullet-pointed snapshot of how Democrats have brought America back from the COVID abyss:
The big picture: Last July 4, many Americans were hunkering down in their backyards with small cookouts, and travel was way down. This year, most adults have at least some vaccine protection, travel is back up, and most Americans are ready to move on with their lives.
By the numbers: As of Saturday, 67% of U.S. adults have gotten at least one vaccine dose, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. That's not 70%, which was Biden's July 4 goal. But do you know how many adults were vaccinated last July 4? Zero.
They're going back to work, with 850,000 jobs added in June—better than expected—and average hourly earnings on the rise, per Axios' Courtenay Brown and Felix Salmon.
And they're hitting the roads again. July 4 travel is almost back to its pre-pandemic levels, with overall travel projected to be just 2.5% lower than in 2019, according to AAA.
Also: the Trump family is in serious legal trouble again. Yup…things are getting back to normal.
CHEERS to order in the court. Praise the Lord and pass the I Voted stickers. It looks like Team Democracy won a round in the battle against ballot box burdens (and in a state that's considered swing-ish):
The New Hampshire Supreme Court on Friday struck down a 2017 state law crafted by Republicans that implemented new requirements for same-day voter registration that critics say made it more difficult for college students to vote.
In a unanimous 4-0 decision, the state Supreme Court upheld a lower court’s ruling from last year that found the law, known as Senate Bill 3, violated New Hampshire's Constitution “because it unreasonably burdens the right to vote. The state Supreme Court said that the law “must be stricken in its entirety.”
When asked if they could also order college students to do their laundry once in awhile, the Court issued a brief statement: "Dammit, man, we're judges, not miracle workers."
JEERS to going out with a bing. Oh dear...when you're a fierce and legendary general who becomes President of the United States, it's gotta be a little embarrassing to die from eating bad fruit. But that's what happened 171 years ago this week to "#12" Zachary Taylor. I believe his last words were: "Bad cherries??? No way. Seriously, guys, this is a joke, right?" Sorry, dude—life is just a bowl of you-know-whats.
Pay your respects here. And then try to remember who succeeded him without going to the Google or the Wiki. (Hint: it wasn't Millard Fillmore. Oh, wait, yes it was. Crap...I meant to write Gerald Ford. Now you know why I’m not a professor.)
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BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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END BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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CHEERS to today's edition of Aww…Too Bad, So Sad. Courtesy of NBC News:
Oil producer group OPEC has been plunged into crisis, with bitter infighting between Saudi Arabia and the United Arab Emirates raising questions about the future of the energy alliance.
OPEC and non-OPEC partners, a group of some of the world’s most powerful oil producers, abruptly abandoned plans to reconvene on Monday after last week’s meetings unexpectedly failed to broker a deal on oil production policy. […] “OPEC+ has been thrown its most serious crisis since last year’s ill-fated price war between Saudi Arabia and Russia,” Helima Croft, head of global commodity strategy at RBC Capital Markets, said in a research note.
This has been today's edition of Aww…Too Bad, So Sad.
CHEERS to justice by the carton. Twenty-two years ago today, in the first class-action lawsuit of its kind to go to trial, a jury in Miami held cigarette makers liable for making a defective product that causes emphysema, lung cancer and other nasties in adults. Big Tobacco and, later, Big Vape, learned a valuable lesson from the verdict: go after the kids instead.
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Ten years ago in C&J: July 7, 2011
CHEERS to meeting all my demands. I think Congress and the president are going to raise the debt ceiling exactly the way I'd hoped they would: by drawing out the process as long as possible with empty threats and pointless rhetoric, followed by the benevolent leadership sitting down (today) for tea and compromise, resulting in massive budget cuts that hack away at services for the least among us, followed by the closing of one loophole (no more subsidized hair gel for anyone making over $1 billion a week) and another two-year extension of the Bush tax cuts, plus jail time for Elizabeth Warren and an automatic 75 electoral-vote head start to the Republican nominee for president. Yup, that's the way I see it goin' down, and that's right in line with my hopes and dreams. And in other news, this morning I fell on my head.
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And just one more…
CHEERS to endurance. Just adding this to our above-the-fold pic, because they deserve more ink: best-ex-president-ever Jimmy and First Lady Rosalynn Carter have been together so long that it's impossible to think of one without thinking of the other. Today they celebrate their 75th anniversary. An amazing number, especially considering that recently Jimmy was fighting for his life against cancer. (He kicked its ass and has been cancer-free for a few years now). As for the secret of their longevity, it's pretty simple, they tell Judy Woodruff:
Rosalynn Carter: Well, I think we give each other space and we try to do things together. We're always looking for things we can do together, like birding and fly-fishing and just anything we can find to do together.
President Jimmy Carter: At the end of the day, we try to become reconciled and overcome all the differences that arose during the day. We also make up and give each other a kiss before we go to sleep still in bed. And we always read the Bible every night, which adds a different aspect to life. So, we really try to become completely reconciled each night before we go to sleep. […]
And we have had to live a quite restricted life the last year or so with the problem with the virus. But we have succeeded very well. And I think, in general, that handicap in movement has brought us even closer together. So that's one thing for which I'm thankful.
This year they’ve decided to try something new on their big day: robbing Fort Knox. If the results are anything like last year’s bank-robbing spree, Rosalynn is gonna leave some mean Studebaker skid marks.
Have a happy humpday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial
Matthew McConaughey Says Bill in Portland Maine Is ‘Basically Going Through Puberty’ in July 4th Video, Encouraging Kossacks to ‘Keep Splashing’ and ‘Maintain Hope’
—Mediaite
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