The Scenario:
I was standing in a store with a friend. We were checking out. At the next register, I started to hear some tense words being exchanged. The customer was saying angrily, "I have no respect for you, now." Demanding, " Just Give me my receipt." "Put my things in the bag!"
I missed whatever set him off and it looked like he was being simply belligerent. I was intently looking in his direction.
As he walked away from the transaction, he saw me and said, "I'm sorry. He accused me of stealing and I lost my temper. I'm sorry you had to hear that."
I replied, "I'm sorry you had to experience that."
The customer was black. The clerk had an Arabic name. I'm white.
Mixed feelings:
I hate that this shit happens.
I was so glad that the customer had enough self-esteem to stand up for himself. He was stellar in his indignation.
I'm mad at myself for looking at him as though he were the problem, at first. Why did I assume that he was just being rude? Vestiges of racism? Or a natural first response when seeing someone speaking angrily at someone else? My gut says, "vestiges of racism." I didn't wait to assess before making my assumption. I heard an angry voice and saw a "rude person" rather than figuring out of if there was cause for his anger. Would I have done that if he was white? (Well, probably, but really I don't know, I have this yucky feeling in my gut which is exiting my face with a grimace. That suggests to me that I'm trying to tell myself there was no racism involved, when there was. Ugh. More exorcism, please. I don't like this toxicity.)
I feel guilty for not initiating more of a confrontation with the clerk. I wish I had loudly said, "Did you accuse him of stealing?!" While it's great that the customer felt strong enough to speak out, it seems to me that it's more important for others of us to show solidarity. I feel that I blew that opportunity. That once again, a victim of oppression was left standing alone.
I'm mad because now I don't want to shop in that store, any longer. It's a local "dollar store" type place where I can get inexpensive household items such as toilet paper. It's in walking distance of my house. I really appreciate it's presence. But, I can't, in good conscience shop there if it's a harbor for racism. Dammit. Can't people cut this crap out?!
Ok, now I'm one of those people complaining about the inconvenience I have to put up with if I'm to be in solidarity against someone else's oppression. What an ass.
I won't be shopping at that store. I will write a letter to the management explaining why. This is piddly compared to what those facing racism must live with on a relentless ongoing basis.
And, sheesh, why aren't the working class staff in this store, who all have name tags which would suggest to most Americans that they are Muslim, standing in solidarity with other groups who suffer from racism and the class war, in this country? C'mon, we're all in this together! Your liberation is tied up in mine.
4:29 PM PT: also want to note that I was stunned by the grace of the customer, who felt the need to apologize to me for "having to witness" his anger. As though that is the problem. The tyranny of politeness strikes again, where his perfectly natural response is something he feels he needs to apologize for.
5:50 PM PT: another note: for those who would say that the store may have experiences which lead their clerks to accuse people of stealing: there were plenty of customers being processed at those registers. Only the black male was accused of stealing. It wasn't a top when my friend and I went through. I looked a lot grungier than he did. And my friend was putting the register clerk through the paces with last minute changes to what she was buying and asking him to void some items and add new ones, making the ringing out complicated. She's a very honest person, but that kind of transaction would be the kind where it is easy for someone to try to grab something they didn't get charged for. Meanwhile, the other customer had a straightforward interaction - hand the clerk the one item you're buying, get out your wallet and hand him cash.
There is no justification for the clerk accusing him of stealing.