I've read some amazingly insightful comments/discussions here on DKos. So, I thought I'd try asking for some community help in figuring out how to deal with a difficult, and somewhat scary, situation facing our local atheist group. It's been going on for nearly a year, and we just haven't been able to figure out anything that works.
We have a local atheist community thriving as a meetup group. It's been a great way to meet like-minded people who enjoy getting into deeper discussions. But this one person started coming almost a year ago and he has really put a damper on our group.
He's got our group's organizer spooked, and for good cause. She's never hidden her identity and she has a family, children, at home. And this guy is not some candy-assed wimp; he's definitely someone to be wary of.
More below the squiggle.
I called him a stalker, and maybe the term isn't exactly right. If he were on DKos, I'm pretty sure he would have been IDed as a troll long ago and banned
When he first appeared and started spouting white supremacist crap, we were shocked. Then and now, most of us firmly, but politely, tell him to stop. And when called out, he does stop - but only for a few minutes.
Several of us have tried to engage him in normal, friendly conversation. But he typically ignores people who do that (or maybe it is just because we're women?). He seems to have a single focus: to bring up one of his many offensive topics (wildly racist ideology, holocaust denial, women should not be allowed to vote, gay bashing, praising Hitler...).
He's so out there, that I'm sometimes tempted to think "he must be faking", or "he must be a plant". But after reading up on his history, he's the real deal.
He's a big guy with a "don't mess with me" air about him. And, even though he was arrested in an armed conflict with the police, and sentenced to time in a state mental institution, he told at least one person in our group that he still owns firearms.
Meanwhile, at our meetups, the regulars typically sit as far away from him as possible and try to just ignore him. But then there are the new folks who don't know better. And they are sometimes folks who would be part of one of his hated groups. So, we try to run interference, and apologize if we miss protecting someone new to our group.
We're no longer able to just relax and enjoy our meetups. Do we just quit?
3:33 PM PT: So... this first attempt to start a conversation has been a wonderful experience for me. I really am SOOOO thankful to all of you who took the time to consider our group's problem and provide your thoughts on the situation.
I received even more great ideas (and thought-provoking comments) than I expected. And plenty of ones that made me giggle.
One comment seems to be an ideal solution for our meetup group because 1) we get to keep our group and 2) we become stronger and able to withstand a future situation like this one (we don't just skip town or hide). It also includes an idea that helps with possible police/legal issues. So, I'm especially happy to have this to take to our group organizer.
This has been a very successful trial diary. Thank you all for your help!!
