I'm angry today. And I'm not even Catholic, but I am female, and I'm angry at the absolute temerity of Pope Francis to deign to absolve females who've had abortions... with the catch of course that they be "contrite". I'm not contrite. My feelings are my own, and if I were Catholic or any other religion that involved "god" or "allah" or any other deity, and demanding I show my contriteness, to BEG for forgiveness makes my blood boil. Jump to the past over the squiggly.
I was young, probably could count myself pretty stupid as well as this was 2 decades ago. I was engaged to what I thought at the time was the guy. About 3 years in, I got pregnant. I was ecstatic, absolutely really thoroughly overjoyed. I thought we were doing everything right.
He came to my apartment that weekend, and we sat down and had a couple of drinks and he told me he wanted me to terminate it. His parents would disown him, the baby, just look at his older brother to see what he meant. They had money, we couldn't just walk away from that, I would be ruining his life, on and on and on it went.
I was heartbroken after he left. Left to think about everyone involved in this and make a decision that I knew rested on my shoulders and my shoulders alone. I agonized for over a week on this. I didn't want him to hate me forever, cut off from his family, never possibly loving his child without feeling some loathing. So I terminated. Which almost led me to bleeding out, but that was the possible outcome back then. Fortunately I got myself to an ER and got taken care of.
Our relationship fell apart the following year after I managed to work my way through one Mother's Day. We went to his parents for Christmas, and his eldest brother announced that him and his girlfriend were pregnant. His parents were thrilled. It was like a kick to the head for me. We didn't last long after that.
Now I get to hear another man, from an authoritarian religion tell me that if I get on my knees and beg for forgiveness, that a woman who shows proper contriteness can be "forgiven". I walked away from the Catholic church for it's complete lack of care in regards to women. That we are mere chattel, to be bartered away, to have no rights, to obey a man, to give him our lives and put our faith in him and the church.
No. I won't beg. No. I don't need forgiveness. Am I contrite? No. Do I have regrets? Well, hindsight is always 20/20. I also have 2 really beautiful daughters who are almost grown now. I love my children. Why is it the women have to beg for forgiveness? Why do men get off scot-free for impacting a woman's decision? Are we going to say EVERY female who's ever had an abortion had zero input from the potential father?
And no, I will not and never have raised my girls to be Catholic. Do they believe in God? One does, one does not. But they also understand that if they do, church is not required. That they do not need to hear some sycophant's "translation" of God's will. To be good people, to care for others, to look out for each other. Doesn't matter what religion you are, these are the basic humanist principles I've always laid out for them. I will be damned if I beg for forgiveness from some man who has not a clue.
I understand that to Catholic women, this may seem like a boon. I however see it as once again, men looking down on women telling us we are not worthy without their forgiveness for taking charge of our bodies. So my apologies to anyone I may have offended in case I was not sensitive enough to your religion and beliefs.
Tue Sep 01, 2015 at 7:29 PM PT: Thanks everyone for the recs and wow Rec List! I was just really cheesed off and needed to vent about it all!
