When the musical Hair hit broadway, I should have been in it. Not because I have a head full of hair or because my hair is full. I should have had a starring role simply for having lack thereof.
I don’t believe these companies in the hair-restoration business who in advertisements make claims that in using said products, hair will be both fuller (more hair) and thicker (thicker hair). I don’t even subscribe to the notion that one’s hair after using said product will look thicker, even if it isn’t. Has a representative from any of these businesses even seen my hair?
In air quality matters there is what is known as fine particulate matter or particulate matter that is less than 2.5 micrometers in diameter. Not just diameter, but aerodynamic diameter. Fine particulate matter is also referred to as PM2.5.
PM2.5’s size is also compared to the width of a human hair — not your atypical human hair like the kind I have. It’s compared to the average human-hair width which is generally 20 to 30 times larger than PM2.5 particle’s aerodynamic diameter. So between 20 and 30 times larger, typically.
The width of my hair? Probably somewhere on the order of 10 times the width of a PM2.5 particle’s aerodynamic diameter.
Besides the thin hair, I don’t have much of a top crop either. For all intents and purposes, I’m bald. I’ve thought about what it would be like to have a hair transplant. I saw the result of entertainer Elton John’s hair transplant. It seems to have worked for him just dandy.
But, then I asked myself, do I really want to go to all the trouble of having the transplant done only to discover that, yeah, while my head may no longer be bald, it will be a case of my having more of the same thin hair? As far as I’m concerned for me it just would not be worth it.
That all said, I’m basically left with three options: Shave my head irrespective of walking forwards or backwards (Editor’s note: I’m sure you’re all familiar with the expression), wear a toupee, or just leave as is.
I opt for choice number three.
Oh, and there’s one more thing.
I now trim my hair myself. I mean why should I pay the going rate, the same as a person with lots of locks? That makes no sense. I should get a serious discount. There is far less up there to trim.
As to why my hair is so thin, I’m sure there is a scientific explanation. In the future, a scientist may find what could account for this. And, with any luck, correct the deficit.
Though I’ve never done research to find out if there is a Guinness World Record’s category for having the thinnest head hair of any person in the entire world, if there was one, I’m certain I would be in contention for what I am also certain would not be a very coveted spot.
Whew: Glad I got that off my chest!