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Mon Oct 21, 2013 at 10:36 AM PDT

Thoughts on a prison visit

by Mollywog

I warn my youngest son that his brother has lost quite a bit of weight (at last weigh in, over 40 lbs) and is skin and bones.  Still he is shocked when he sees his brother for the first time in 18 months and asks me, "Is that him?!"
"Yes, yes it is", I reply.  More below the orange shackles.  

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There are moments when I forget that you are gone.
I reach for the phone to share a thought,
only to remember.

You are not here.

It's been one year.  
Times of grief, anger, sadness
 fill my heart and soul.  Still.

Seeking answers, finding none.  

I ache to speak to you,
unfettered by their terms,
to ask and maybe understand why.  

Can you explain, could you explain.  

I see others starting anew.
It is not without pain that I view their new paths.
Wishing I could share in their hope.

But dreams are lost.

Shaken to my core
With emotions so raw.  
And grief that dwells within my soul.  Still.  

This depth of despair never ends.

Always in the back of my mind
Treading lightly.
Till it rises forth, peaks and roars.

 Hear me, it screams
You are not here!
Again, and again, and again.

Maybe you never were.  

Silence broken by cries.  
I am drained once more.
Pleading for peace and light of heart.  

Moment to moment
I make it through my day.
It's all I ask, to make it one more day.

By Mollywog  
To commemorate the approaching one year anniversary of my son's arrest.    5/13/13

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Sun Feb 17, 2013 at 12:06 PM PST

The family is left behind

by Mollywog

My son was arrested, words I never thought I'd utter in my life.  He has been incarcerated in a prison 8 hours from home since May 30, 2012.   Yes, he's guilty and yes, he has to pay his debt, you'll get no quibble from me over this fact.  
What has prompted me to write my first diary ever is a current diary that encourages people to post their experiences of being arrested or detained as the case may be.
I've read the comments and I am, how should I say this, shocked?  No, saddened might be more accurate.  While I understand that my son's situation is much different than being arrested for civil disobedience or fighting for justice by raising questions and rallying around a cause, the lightheartedness shown in the comments saddens me.  

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