Tasty and a helpful reminder!
A few months after my 40th birthday, my doctor scheduled me for a screening mammogram – my first. Barely 24 hours later, I was told that I had cancer. Not stage 0, not DCIS, not we “caught it early” cancer. Nope. The tumor was invasive, triple-positive breast cancer, the size of a large grape and had spread to the lymph nodes in my armpit. The mammogram revealed a knotted, white starburst that was helpfully labeled with a small yellow arrow despite the fact that even a drunk frat boy could have hit it from across the room with a dart.
My first-ever mammogram. Go big or go home!
I felt scared (of course) but also silly, stupid, and angry — because I am a scientist. Heck, I even did my dissertation research on breast cancer! I should have found it sooner and not had the tumor pointed out (gently but with more than a little disbelief) by the ultrasound technician, “Honey, don’t you see that?” as she pointed to the raised bump on my chest.
I had no family history of cancer. I had three babies in my twenties and breastfed them all. I did self-exams (usually). I was busy with life. With my career, raising 3 kids, a husband. Breast cancer was the farthest thing from my mind.
The next year of my life was taken over by cancer: appointments, treatments, infusions, radiation, wigs, scarfs, diarrhea, blood work, heart scans, heart burn, drains, scars, fear, Xanax, tears, celebrations, milestones, more drugs, more procedures, surgery, infections, healing, recovery, grief, depression, new friends, lost friends, lost job.
Chemo was a series of 4 drugs every 3 weeks for 6 rounds. Then 1 drug every 3 weeks for another 12 rounds. My infusion nurse and I were bffs by the end.
Decorating your head can be fun. To an extent. Big earrings always made me feel more stylish.
Brutal, yes. But honest.
This was the day I got my first “haircut”! I felt like at least my short style showed some intent rather than the randomness of regrowth.
The natural history of untreated breast cancer is a painful death within 2 ½ to 3 years. Thanks to modern medicine, I have now officially outlived my disease.
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