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Sat Aug 25, 2012 at 01:07 PM PDT

America’s Angry Overseas Critics

by thewraith9

There are two kinds of overseas critics when it comes to the United States. First, there are the people from abroad who have genuine concerns about America’s aggressive foreign policy and the intended and unintended consequences of how it affects other nations. These people are usually basing their criticisms of the US on fairness as well as a genuine sense of morality. However there’s also the angry far left overseas critics who just have an obsession with whining about the US on every single solitary issue because it helps them compensate for their own insecurities of living in second or third rate nations and perhaps because they themselves live miserable & lonely lives.

 So rather than talk about American dominance I will instead try to put myself in the shoes of the second group that I mentioned above; the shoes of the angry American critic from abroad. I’m going to imagine living in one of any number of second, third or even fifth rate countries and all of my life I’ve had to live with the irrefutable fact that America is the dominating nation in the world and that my own country will never even come close to the same kind of success that they’ve enjoyed. Yes, there was once another country a long time ago called the Soviet Union but they ultimately collapsed economically thereby leaving America alone as undoubtedly the world’s leading superpower.

Adding to this, I know that America controls almost one fourth of the total world economy which gives them great power, influence and leverage throughout the world in dealing with other nations; power and leverage which my own government and many other governments often willingly bendover to. I know that the US military is incredibly powerful and if the US ever wanted to win a war of attrition they could easily mow my own country down in a matter of days. On top of this America is a technological leader and a disproportional amount of the advances in science, medicine and computer technology emanate from the US as they have more Nobel prize winners by far than any other nation. Throughout my life I’ve repeatedly had to hear about the US space program as America continued to reach for the stars. I’ve repeatedly had to hear about US politics on my country’s new outlets because America is just so powerful that their decisions often affect the rest of the world. It’s often annoying to watch the Olympics because the US usually dominates there as well and worst of all I’ve had to be constantly barraged with American movies and music which are quite popular in my nation.

Anyway, now that I’m walking in the shoes of the angry American critic from abroad I finally understand the backlash. No wonder so many of you are so enraged. If I were in your place I too would want to lash out at the country that dominates me in so many ways. I too would be constantly making ridiculous and ignorant generalizations about America while pretending to be an enlightened progressive. I too would be seizing upon any bad news regarding the US in the hopes of convincing myself that it means the decline of America. I too would be cheerleading for China to replace America as the world’s only superpower (despite propping myself up as a human rights advocate.)  I too would be hoping for a full scale civil war in Iraq and Afghanistan (while pretending to care about the welfare of Iraqis and Afghans) in the hopes that a US military defeat would lessen America’s influence throughout the world. And most importantly I too would be constantly trying to convince Americans how “ashamed” they should be of their country and how they should all bow at the “moral altar” of phony sanctimony and self-righteouness that I exude from my own nation.

My point here is, I now understand your pulsating, throbbing fury and from this point on instead of being antagonistic towards the “helpful and informative” criticism that you endlessly spew at the US I will instead try to be more sympathetic. Rather than aggressively engage America’s critics I will instead provide a broad superpower shoulder for you to cry on which will thereby allow you to vent all of your overseas woes.

Thank you


Sat Aug 25, 2012 at 06:12 AM PDT

The Far Left Rules List

by thewraith9

1 – You should always inflate your own ego by pretending that your leftist ideology is just sooo intellectually advanced, complex and non-jingoistic.  You must do this despite the fact that in reality you actually have an extremely simplistic and biased ideology which consists of nothing more than blind dissent (usually directed at the US or Israel,) third world white guilt and a completely phony sense of self-righteousness.

2 – You must be relentlessly mindful not to dare offend any Muslim, any minority or any third world nation by making a generalization about their culture and you must swiftly denounce those that do. You may however freely make generalizations about Christians, Republicans, the US military or the American people.

3 – You must constantly denounce the oppressive and exploitative capitalist economic system of the US while at the same time praising and defending Socialist systems abroad. This is always most effectively done while living in a capitalist country and enjoying the many opportunities and benefits in which it provides.

4 – Any form of patriotism in regards to the US must be looked upon with scorn, suspicion, cynicism and be followed by ridicule. Any form of dissent against America is automatically valid, noble, progressively enlightened and beyond any and all reproach.

5 – Every sovereign nation in the world has a right to secure its border with the exception of the United States of America. The borders of the US must remain completely free and open and anything less than this demand must be met with cries of xenophobia and/or racism.

6 – Any person who is darkskinned and from an impoverished nation is by definition either a victim of US imperialism or a victim of exploitation by multi-national US corporations. Any criticism for any violence they commit must immediately be blamed on either Israel or a western country, (preferably the United States.)

7 – You should always fiercely resist ever criticising the human rights records or policies of oppressive nations or organizations whenever they have poor relations or any kind of conflict with the US or Israel. All such criticism must be either completely absent, downplayed or be immediately deflected to the US or a US ally.

8 – If the US supports a dictator or an oppressive government you must immediately denounce the US for doing so. Meanwhile if the US sanctions or assists in a rebellion against a dictator or an oppressive government you must then denounce the US for starving/killing the people of that nation.

9 -  You must repeatedly claim that US military interventions abroad are nothing but imperialist enterprises designed to kill civilians while setting up puppet governments. In addition, you should never make any distinction between nations, organizations and groups that kill or injure civilians in order to fight oppression and nations, organizations and groups that kill or injure civilians in order to further oppression.

10 – You should consistently blame western nations for the hatred of Muslim extremists while conveniently ignoring that these extremists by their own admission are completely intolerant against other religions, gays, women and any form of freedom of expression that differs from their own. You must also ignore the fact that the extremists have repeatedly proven that they’re more than willing to lash out violently over the most ridiculous reasons (i.e. Danish cartoons that offend them) and that they’re absolutely incapable of getting along with anyone else including moderate Muslims within their own various nations.

11 – Any discussion, analysis or criticism of the US or Israel (no matter how redudant and inflammatory) should be completely immune from ever being labeled as “anti-American” or “anti-semitism.” Meanwhile any discussion, analysis or criticism of Muslim extremism, illegal immigration or the culture of any third world nation must be immediately labeled as Islamophobia, bigotry, xenophobia, or racism.

12 – Any foreign leader with a poor human rights record that was ever friendly to the US (Musharraf, the Shah, Batista) must be harshly criticised. Meanwhile any foreign leader with a poor human rights record that was ever hostile towards the US (Castro, Ahmadinejad, Chavez) must be defended and have his poor human rights record conveniently ignored.

13 – In order to undermine the US during a time of war, any abuse by the US military (whether intentional or not) must be immediately and relentlessly harped on over and over and over and over ad nauseam in order to try and make the exception seem like the rule. Meanwhile far more widespread abuses by insurgents, terrorists or any other anti-US group must be simply ignored or in some cases be praised as justified. When confronted about this bias, simply lie and pretend that you’re not trying to undermine anything; pretend that you’re merely motivated by a benevolent desire that “America be held to a higher standard.”

14 – You should fixate only on the most negative aspects of US history and contemperary American foreign and domestic policy. You must then use this as a foundation in order to try to laughably equate the US to same moral level as every oppressive and brutal regime and organization throughout the world which oppresses and murders their own people by regular policy.

15 – You must always deflect criticism away from Islam and over to Christianity by either fixating on isolated incidents of contemperary Christian violence/oppression or by harping on the Inquisition, the Crusades, the Salem Witch Trials and every other “recent event” in a laughable effort to equate modern Christian intolerance and violence to modern Islamic intolerance and violence.

16 – Always be sure to point out the history of US oppression, rape, plunder and genocide whenever its military has been deployed overseas. At the same time always condemn the US for not deploying its military in every humanitarian crisis throughout the world (i.e. Rwanda, Darfur etc.)

17 – If a Muslim extremist commits an act of terror you must immediately begin claiming that it was an act of provoked violence due to another country’s foriegn policy. Meanwhile if a US soldier, Israeli soldier or Christian extremist commits an act of terror you must instantly condemn it, denounce the crazed, bloodthirsty, hate-filled brute and demand full and immediate prosecution to the full extent of the law.

18 – Always remember that nothing infuriates you more than seeing any American celebrating anything about their country (particularly when it’s any victory by the US military.) All such displays of unbridled patriotism must be immediately countered with some form of scorn or denouncement.

19 -  Whenever anyone challenges or questions you on even the most minute part of your far left ideology and you lack a proper counter-argument you must simply resort to labeling the other person as either a “Bush supporter” a “neocon” or “a Fox News viewer.” However if anyone criticizes or calls out the “far left” you must then say, “What?..that’s a strawman! What on earth is the far left? I have no idea what you mean?

20 – Lastly, you should always vehemently denounce this far left rules list as nothing but a “strawman” no matter how accurate you know it is or how many times it has been validated. For years you have convinced yourself that your leftist ideology is just so advanced and evolved and it’s a very emotional experience for you to finally discover that your ideology is just as consumed with biases and double standards as the people that you’ve always pretended to be superior to.


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