1 – You should always inflate your own ego by pretending that your leftist ideology is just sooo intellectually advanced, complex and non-jingoistic. You must do this despite the fact that in reality you actually have an extremely simplistic and biased ideology which consists of nothing more than blind dissent (usually directed at the US or Israel,) third world white guilt and a completely phony sense of self-righteousness.
2 – You must be relentlessly mindful not to dare offend any Muslim, any minority or any third world nation by making a generalization about their culture and you must swiftly denounce those that do. You may however freely make generalizations about Christians, Republicans, the US military or the American people.
3 – You must constantly denounce the oppressive and exploitative capitalist economic system of the US while at the same time praising and defending Socialist systems abroad. This is always most effectively done while living in a capitalist country and enjoying the many opportunities and benefits in which it provides.
4 – Any form of patriotism in regards to the US must be looked upon with scorn, suspicion, cynicism and be followed by ridicule. Any form of dissent against America is automatically valid, noble, progressively enlightened and beyond any and all reproach.
5 – Every sovereign nation in the world has a right to secure its border with the exception of the United States of America. The borders of the US must remain completely free and open and anything less than this demand must be met with cries of xenophobia and/or racism.
6 – Any person who is darkskinned and from an impoverished nation is by definition either a victim of US imperialism or a victim of exploitation by multi-national US corporations. Any criticism for any violence they commit must immediately be blamed on either Israel or a western country, (preferably the United States.)
7 – You should always fiercely resist ever criticising the human rights records or policies of oppressive nations or organizations whenever they have poor relations or any kind of conflict with the US or Israel. All such criticism must be either completely absent, downplayed or be immediately deflected to the US or a US ally.
8 – If the US supports a dictator or an oppressive government you must immediately denounce the US for doing so. Meanwhile if the US sanctions or assists in a rebellion against a dictator or an oppressive government you must then denounce the US for starving/killing the people of that nation.
9 - You must repeatedly claim that US military interventions abroad are nothing but imperialist enterprises designed to kill civilians while setting up puppet governments. In addition, you should never make any distinction between nations, organizations and groups that kill or injure civilians in order to fight oppression and nations, organizations and groups that kill or injure civilians in order to further oppression.
10 – You should consistently blame western nations for the hatred of Muslim extremists while conveniently ignoring that these extremists by their own admission are completely intolerant against other religions, gays, women and any form of freedom of expression that differs from their own. You must also ignore the fact that the extremists have repeatedly proven that they’re more than willing to lash out violently over the most ridiculous reasons (i.e. Danish cartoons that offend them) and that they’re absolutely incapable of getting along with anyone else including moderate Muslims within their own various nations.
11 – Any discussion, analysis or criticism of the US or Israel (no matter how redudant and inflammatory) should be completely immune from ever being labeled as “anti-American” or “anti-semitism.” Meanwhile any discussion, analysis or criticism of Muslim extremism, illegal immigration or the culture of any third world nation must be immediately labeled as Islamophobia, bigotry, xenophobia, or racism.
12 – Any foreign leader with a poor human rights record that was ever friendly to the US (Musharraf, the Shah, Batista) must be harshly criticised. Meanwhile any foreign leader with a poor human rights record that was ever hostile towards the US (Castro, Ahmadinejad, Chavez) must be defended and have his poor human rights record conveniently ignored.
13 – In order to undermine the US during a time of war, any abuse by the US military (whether intentional or not) must be immediately and relentlessly harped on over and over and over and over ad nauseam in order to try and make the exception seem like the rule. Meanwhile far more widespread abuses by insurgents, terrorists or any other anti-US group must be simply ignored or in some cases be praised as justified. When confronted about this bias, simply lie and pretend that you’re not trying to undermine anything; pretend that you’re merely motivated by a benevolent desire that “America be held to a higher standard.”
14 – You should fixate only on the most negative aspects of US history and contemperary American foreign and domestic policy. You must then use this as a foundation in order to try to laughably equate the US to same moral level as every oppressive and brutal regime and organization throughout the world which oppresses and murders their own people by regular policy.
15 – You must always deflect criticism away from Islam and over to Christianity by either fixating on isolated incidents of contemperary Christian violence/oppression or by harping on the Inquisition, the Crusades, the Salem Witch Trials and every other “recent event” in a laughable effort to equate modern Christian intolerance and violence to modern Islamic intolerance and violence.
16 – Always be sure to point out the history of US oppression, rape, plunder and genocide whenever its military has been deployed overseas. At the same time always condemn the US for not deploying its military in every humanitarian crisis throughout the world (i.e. Rwanda, Darfur etc.)
17 – If a Muslim extremist commits an act of terror you must immediately begin claiming that it was an act of provoked violence due to another country’s foriegn policy. Meanwhile if a US soldier, Israeli soldier or Christian extremist commits an act of terror you must instantly condemn it, denounce the crazed, bloodthirsty, hate-filled brute and demand full and immediate prosecution to the full extent of the law.
18 – Always remember that nothing infuriates you more than seeing any American celebrating anything about their country (particularly when it’s any victory by the US military.) All such displays of unbridled patriotism must be immediately countered with some form of scorn or denouncement.
19 - Whenever anyone challenges or questions you on even the most minute part of your far left ideology and you lack a proper counter-argument you must simply resort to labeling the other person as either a “Bush supporter” a “neocon” or “a Fox News viewer.” However if anyone criticizes or calls out the “far left” you must then say, “What?..that’s a strawman! What on earth is the far left? I have no idea what you mean?
20 – Lastly, you should always vehemently denounce this far left rules list as nothing but a “strawman” no matter how accurate you know it is or how many times it has been validated. For years you have convinced yourself that your leftist ideology is just so advanced and evolved and it’s a very emotional experience for you to finally discover that your ideology is just as consumed with biases and double standards as the people that you’ve always pretended to be superior to.
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