Hi- was minding my own business today, when an college friend forwarded this group e-mail blast and was wanting some help in formulating a point by point counter e-mail blast.
Subject: 12 reasons to vote Democratic
When someone cannot explain why they voted for Democrats, give them this list. They can then pick their reasons from this "TOP 12"...
1. I voted Democrat because I believe
oil companies' profits of 4% on a
gallon of gas are obscene, but the
government taxing the same gallon of
gas at 15% isn't.
2. I voted Democrat because I believe
the government will do a better job of
spending the money I earn than I
would.
3. I voted Democrat because Freedom of
Speech is fine as long as nobody is
offended by it.
4. I voted Democrat because I'm way
too irresponsible to own a gun, and I
know that my local police are all I
need to protect me from murderers and
thieves.
5. I voted Democrat because I believe
that people who can't tell us if it
will rain on Friday can tell us that
the polar ice caps will melt away in
ten years if I don't start driving a
Prius.
6. I voted Democrat because I'm not
concerned about millions of babies
being aborted so long as we keep all
death row inmates alive.
7. I voted Democrat because I think
illegal aliens have a right to free
health care, education, and Social
Security benefits.
8. I voted Democrat because I believe
that business should not be allowed to
make profits for themselves. They need
to break even and give the rest away
to the government for redistribution
as the Democrats see fit.
9. I voted Democrat because I believe
liberal judges need to rewrite the
Constitution every few days to suit
some fringe kooks who would never get
their agendas past the voters.
10. I voted Democrat because I think
that it's better to pay billions to
people who hate us for their oil, but
not drill our own because it might
upset some endangered beetle or
gopher.
11. I voted Democrat because while we
live in the greatest, most wonderful
country in the world, I was promised
"HOPE AND CHANGE".
12. I voted Democrat because my head
is so firmly planted up my ass, it's
unlikely that I'll ever have another
point of view.
Obviously, the premise that Democrats can't explain why they vote Democratic is flawed, as we all know, we will give you a 2-3 hour dissertation on anything if you give us the chance. It's easy being a Republican when all your ideas are boiled down to bumper sticker slogans. I was hoping to revise each of the 12 bullet points but delete the word Democrat and add in Republican in its place. Can u help? Here was my first shot at it..didn't want to flame the guy, but try and keep it so they understand the error in their ways...
Subject: 12 reasons to vote Republican
When someone cannot explain why they voted for Republicans, give them this list. They can then pick their reasons from this "TOP 12"...
1. I voted Republican because I believe
oil companies' profits of 4% on a
gallon of gas are is obscenely low, and
government taxing the same gallon of
gas at 15% is cutting into these profits.
2. I voted Republican because I believe
the government will do a better job of
spending the money for Defense projects and
Corporate welfare, while our infrastructure
environment, and safety go unregulated.
3. I voted Republican because Freedom of
Speech is fine as long Corporations are given
the same rights as people.
4. I voted Republican because I own a gun
and have a need to carry concealed it into bars,
restaurants and schools and other public places in
case I’m having a bad day.
5. I voted Republican because who cares
about the scientific evidence, the polar ice caps
aren’t melting and what does it matter if trapped
methane gases escape-Global warming my ass.
6. I voted Republican because I'm not
going to let a women make her own choices
and so what if a few innocent people are executed
on death row—it all evens out.
7. I voted Republican because I don’t think
illegal aliens have a right to free
health care, education, and Social
Security benefits despite doing work I would
never do to support our economy.
8. I voted Republican because I believe
that business should be allowed to
make profits for themselves, while outsourcing jobs
overseas, paying little or no taxes, and destroying the
middle class.
9. I voted Republican because I believe
Conservative judges need to rewrite the
Constitution every few days to suit
some fringe kooks and Corporations who would
never get their agendas past the voters.
Long live Citizens United.
10. I voted Republican because I think
that it's better to pay billions to
people who drill for oil, but not use
the lease rights they already own because
who needs pristine gulfs and natural lands.
11. I voted Republican because while we
live in the greatest, most wonderful
country in the world, I was promised
we would take our country back to Fifties,
when old, white men were in charge.
12. I voted Republican because my head
is so firmly planted up my ass, it's
unlikely that I'll ever have another
point of view.
Thanks for the suggestions.
