On January 21, 2017, you will find me in the state capital marching with tens of thousands of other women and our supporters at the Women’s March on Washington State. I have bought a flight to Washington D.C. hoping to see the first Women President to be sworn in. When I woke up on November 9th, the day after election day, I was still in denial. As the weeks went by I held on to hope. I donated to the Green party in an effort that a recount would make me wake up from this nightmare. I signed petitions—and prayed that the electoral college would save us. I crossed my fingers and hoped that there was enough intel available pointing to fraud from Russia or Trump or anyone that could have put this nightmare to an end.
I held my safety-pin as I argued with on-line trolls that I claim I should stop being so "butthurt" over the election results When I expressed worry about my rights as a disabled queer woman married to a queer WOC that is a disabled Veteran I was called “a snowflake”. Worrying about the future status of my marriage made me a “sore loser”. Worrying about social services that my wife and I rely on, such as resources provided by the Department of Veterans’ Affairs, made me “unpatriotic”. Worrying about the status of my friends; Muslims, undocumented immigrants, non-gender conforming individuals and those with disabilities keeps me up at night. On-line trolls think I need to “accept the outcome”. I do not. I refuse to accept bigotry, racism, and sexism. I am dedicating the next four years of my life to protect the rights of every individual that is going to be attacked under the Trump’s administration.
I am marching because one in three women are going to be a victim of male violence. In my household, the rate of male violence survivors is at 100%. I am a survivor childhood sexual abuse. I was fortunate enough that my parents believed me. I was lucky that we reported it to an officer that believed me. I hit the jackpot when the judicial system sent him away to prison. I am marching because I know how common it is to be a victim of sexual violence and how rare the outcome of my rape is. I know that 97% of rapists never spend a night in prison. I am marching because we live in a society where I actually feel lucky for being believed by the very people whose job are to protect us.
My wife, on the other hand, was not so lucky. My wife is a survivor of military sexual trauma, a rape that occurred on-base when she was in the Air Force. Instead of being believed she was forced to continue saluting her rapist. She had to stand at attention while he inspected every inch of her in front of others during uniform inspection days. Instead of meeting with an investigator that believed her the military prosecutor tried to argue that the assault was consensual, that somehow she, a junior enlisted member consented to a sexual relationship with a married, high-ranking officer that was twice her age. Instead of seeing her rapist locked away she was forced out of the Air Force under the Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell policy when she admitted that she, as a queer woman, would never have consented to sex with her rapist. Her rapist is enjoying full military retirement benefits while she is still mourning the loss of her military career.
In 2013, Donald Trump tweeted blaming the epidemic of sexual violence not on sexual predators but on “political correctness”. In his views, the 238 convictions out of 26,000 rapes were not as a result of the lax policies that the military has on sexual violence. The low prosecution rate did not raise a red flag that perhaps we have a problem within our military on how military rape cases are handled and investigated. Nope, it was political correctness that was to be blamed! My wife was raped not because of a sexual predator but because of political correctness!
We are marching with a group of Women Veterans and their supporters. Led by the staff of the Military Rape Crisis Center over 1000 committed to marching in support of survivors of military sexual violence. We will be loud holding banners denouncing Trump’s theory that rape is caused by anything other than sexual predators. Similar groups are also gathering in Boston, New York and Seattle and marches are planned around the globe.