The Gift of the Present, The Monday Night Cancer Club

MyOwnReality for Monday Night Cancer Club

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Monday September 15, 2014 · 5:30 PM PDT

2014/09/15 · 17:30

LIVING Through the End
September 2014

The Past is set in stone; the Future is unknown
I will live here—in the gift of the Present. ~ Me

This is going to be an interactive essay. Yes, Dear Reader, this means you will be asked to participate rather than just observing my thoughts. I’ll go first so you can get the idea of this activity.

Monday Night Cancer Club is a Daily Kos group focused on dealing with cancer, primarily for cancer survivors and caregivers, though clinicians, researchers, and others with a special interest are also welcome. Volunteer diarists post Monday evenings between 7:30-8:30 PM ET on topics related to living with cancer, which is very broadly defined to include physical, spiritual, emotional and cognitive aspects. Mindful of the controversies endemic to cancer prevention and treatment, we ask that both diarists and commenters keep an open mind regarding strategies for surviving cancer, whether based in traditional, Eastern, Western, allopathic or other medical practices. This is a club no one wants to join, in truth, and compassion will help us make it through the challenge together.

MyOwnReality

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Monday September 08, 2014 · 12:58 PM PDT

2014/09/08 · 12:58

Something happened to Medicare coverage on the way to 2014. I didn't see it in any newspaper or on any TV or Internet News. I met the Devil for the first time face to face, when I tried to get my bi-annual pair of diabetic shoes. First thing I found out that diabetic shoes are now dispensed at one pair per year rather than every other year.
That's the good news. The bad news was even though I have 3 different qualifying conditions of my feet and have received diabetic shoes through Medicare since 2010, I no longer qualify for therapeutic shoes.

MyOwnReality for Monday Night Cancer Club

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Monday July 21, 2014 · 5:30 PM PDT

2014/07/21 · 17:30

I’ve done things differently than most cancer patients. My Oncologist says she’s only had one other patient who was as calm and certain as I am. From the beginning, January 9, 2011, I have been certain of only one thing, I have no interest in Chemotherapy or Radiation Therapy treatment for my triple negative Invasive Carcinoma. I did have two lumpectomies, the first biopsy showed there was still cancer on the bottom margin and the other margins were not acceptably wide, so I had a second lumpectomy and I allowed a single lymph node to be taken at that time.

As I joked to my surgeon, I am more afraid of the lymphedema than the cancer. Likely, that’s because I have lived with a chronic, debilitating pain syndrome since an auto accident when I was three months old. The quality of my life with two chronic pain conditions, as well as painful arthritic joints was not an acceptable goal for me. The only person who every really understood my reasons was a nurse with MS.

MyOwnReality

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Wednesday July 16, 2014 · 9:28 AM PDT

2014/07/16 · 09:28

Last night I lit candles on my little home altar with the Kuan Yin porcelain statue named “Soothing the Ills of the World.” Truthfully, I was a bit depressed. It’s been only a week today since I found out that breast cancer has returned, this time to my lungs. I’ll feel better when I can see the CT scan itself. Measurements of the largest masses and the information that there are “numerous” masses, doesn’t really tell me what I want to know, need to know. I have trouble with the unknown, I think that’s common to many people.

I had my time being religious, 32 years of it to be exact, but after finding out that child and spouse abuse was rampant in “my” church, I had to step away. Knowing that the lay clergy protected the perps in a good ole boy way turned my stomach. I wondered what it might feel like to a grown woman whose abuser was still a leader in the church that professed to love and support her. Finally, I came face to face with the abuser of a woman I knew, in what was preported to be a very holy place and that ended it for me.

MyOwnReality

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Saturday July 12, 2014 · 10:48 PM PDT

2014/07/12 · 22:48

I don’t feel much like eating or cooking any more. That’s why I’m shopping for an assisted living/hospice place. I dislike spending my declining energy on the mundane tasks which have become so difficult to accomplish these days. By the time I prepare a nourishing, immune system-boosting meal, I’m too exhausted to eat it. The act of chewing, the difficulty swallowing, everything takes energy.

MyOwnReality

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Friday July 11, 2014 · 9:03 PM PDT

2014/07/11 · 21:03

A pessimist believes we begin to die the day we are born,
An optimist believes we must live every day until we die. ~ Me

A few days ago, I found out that the time I had hoped for when I had breast cancer in January of 2011 is coming to an end. I thought that if I could just have two to four good years to enjoy life and my family, it would be enough. In March this year, I celebrated three years since cancer, perhaps now I’ll see next March or at least Christmas.

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The Gift of the Present, The Monday Night Cancer Club

The Devil's in the Details

Monday Night Cancer Club -Appreciating the Beauty of This World

A Light Out of the Darkness

What I Learned from the Tomato

Living through the End